And Every Soul Shines - RE-VAMPED
by KNeu21
Summary: Sequel to First Light Second Chances - RE-VAMPED: BETTER! Leandra, now a thirteen year old pain in the butt, has to learn how to better handle herself, and her follower. SUMMARY SUCKS! I swear story is much better! RATED 'M' for crap that people under 'M' shouldn't be reading! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"You really could sleep through anything, couldn't you?" I didn't bother opening my eyes to look at Alice, or even moving. I kept my eyes closed, hoping to get just a few more seconds of precious sleep, "Leandra, it's passed two in the afternoon. Get _up_ or I haul you shopping like that."

I only groaned, and threw a pillow her direction.

"Okay." She sighed, and a second later, I was lifted. Just as easily as I had been when I was eleven years old, and folded over her shoulder.

Now almost thirteen, I'd definitely done a lot of growing over the last year and a half. This shouldn't have still been so easy, but it was. The permantent silver chains around my wrists, decorative of course, jingled gently.

They were more of charm bracelets, with tiny little lock-shaped charms to match the key-shaped pendant I never took off. They'd been given to me for my twelfth birthday the year before. I actually loved them, and hardly took them off as well.

My gift, the reason behind the permanent wrist decoration, had actually gotten stronger. I never felt the need to test it, though. Afraid of what I'd find. It was far easier now to predict when things would go wrong. Even with the bracelets on.

I just paid attention to the emotions that were able to find their way through the little trick of the bracelets, and they would tell me to pay attention. It was that easy. My visions were very emotional based, and that was both a pain in the ass, and getting easier by the day.

My gift was growing along with me. Aro was right.

By the time I reached sixteen, it should be about done. Unless it just kept getting stronger, but even I knew there had to be a limit until I was turned.

Back to the present, all I could do was laugh at Alice's actions. It was too funny, and I should have known better than to test her. I kicked a little.

"Okay!" I laughed, and immediately I was dropped onto my back on the couch. I whined, rubbing my eyes, "You're pushy."

"You're learning." Rosalie commented on her way through the living room.

"Hey wait." I said, kneeling up, "Wait a second. Why doesn't she have to go?"

"Because I don't grow like a weed." Rose answered, pausing in the doorway, and I knew she had me there, "I don't need new clothes every month. Alice would be a whole lot less annoying if we got another kid."

"Right?" I couldn't help laughing. I turned back to Alice, "Why don't you take Ness? She grows more than I do."

"She likes to go shopping." Alice said, "It's more of a challenge with you."

"Damn." I sighed.

"There's just something so thrilling about taking somebody shopping against their will." The truth in that sarcastic statement couldn't be denied.

"And hey." I said, sitting up, "I never agreed to go." I pointed my finger at her, "You assumed. And you know what they say about those who assume."

"Go get dressed." She said, unphased.

"Aw, come on." I sighed, laying back down, "I don't need like fifty new bras, Alice. I hate the ones I have."

"Then go without one." Emmett suggested from up the stairs, "Josh wouldn't mind."

"Bite me, Emmett." I called back, laughing a little.

"Now or later?" He asked, "Time, place? I need details!" I never knew what to say to that, so I groaned, covering my face.

"That wasn't an invitation, Mister Literal!"

"Don't offer if you don't want it!" He replied, "That's just mean."

"No bras." Alice said, "You're fine with the ones you have. For now."

"And don't bring him up." I called to Emmett, "You know that's a sore subject."

"Stop pouting." Emmett descended the stairs now.

"I'll pout if I damn well please." I countered, stretching one leg out and resting it on the armrest, "If I'm disappointed, I'll pout. Deal with it."

"Personally, I don't blame Carlisle for telling you no."

"Hey," I sat up quickly, pointing at him now, "He didn't say no. He said he'd think about it. There's a difference."

"Not by much." Emmett replied, "Trust me. I'm swaying his decision."

"How fucking fair is that?" I narrowed my eyes, "Come on. When else am I going to get an opportunity like this?"

"Leandra, _please_ go get dressed." Alice sighed, crossing her arms.

"Probably next year." Emmett answered, "Or the year after that, and I'm pretty sure I'd feel better about you going then."

"It won't happen, because Heather will be going with them next year, or the year after that." I challenged, "They won't have the room then, but they have the room _now_."

"_Now_, you're twelve."

"Two days from thirteen." I reminded him firmly, "There's a huge difference."

"Not so much." He shook his head.

"Leandra, _please_?" Alice again, and I groaned loudly, forcing myself up off the couch.

"This discussion isn't over." I muttered, glaring to Emmett on my way by him.

"We'll see." Emmett called after me.

Arguing with Emmett was like arguing with a brick wall. It never failed to irritate the living hell out of me, and shopping wouldn't make it any better. I knew that for a fact.

I wasn't wrong.

I had learned to get a grasp on my temper, but it was far from solved. If anything, it'd gotten worse the older I got, but it had grown inward. I no longer lashed out as much as I used to, but I'd learned to keep it to myself. When I finally yelled, it meant I couldn't hold it back anymore, and when I was quieter than usual, it was time to leave me alone.

At least, when it came to my family.

I had zero tolerance for idiots outside the family, and they received no warning. That wasn't anything new, but it was worse now, and we were lucky if I was able to leave the house without telling _someone_ off. I don't even know why they still tried.

Today, it was the poor unsuspecting department store bitch that crossed onto my bad side.

"I'm sorry." I finally snapped at her impatience, "Are we keeping you from somewhere you want to be?"

One roll of her eyes too many, and I was one of her heavy sighs away from launching a shoe at her face as hard as I could.

"Of course not." She muttered, giving me a look. That look. I wanted to slap it off of her.

"I'm sorry." I called, setting the shirt I was holding on the table in front of me, "But what's your name?"

"Leandra, don't do this." Alice sighed, shaking her head.

"Janelle." The salesgirl replied tightly, "Why?"

"Do you like working here, Janelle?" I asked in return, "I'm honestly curious. Do you?"

"Yes, I do." She answered curtly.

"Well, I'm asking because your attitude is telling me otherwise." I replied, "It tells me that you actually hate it. I think you actually hate working here. If you'd prefer, I would gladly put in a complaint for you."

"That won't be neces-"

"Then drop the attitude, bitch." I barked, "Because I can get you so completely fucking fired, your kids will need welfare when they're thirty." She obviously didn't like being told off by an almost thirteen-year-old, but she didn't say another damn thing. I didn't hear one more sigh from her.

"There," I said, lifting two of the three bags we had purchased, "Now you can go start your second job on the corner, you fucking hooker." The offended look on her face as we left more than made up for the annoyance of her attitude.

"Verbally abusing department store clerks is generally frowned upon." Alice reminded me on our way through the parking lot.

"Then stop taking me shopping." I countered, climbing into the car beside her.

"What's bothering you, Leandra?" She asked, "You're normally not this grumpy."

"I'm turning thirteen in two days." I mumbled in response, "That's why."

She was quiet now, knowing exactly what I was getting at. The unavoidable time limit. Sixteen wasn't far from thirteen, and Aro had given me until December twenty-seventh of my sixteenth year alive before he'd be back for me. She stayed quiet until just before we got home.

I even got a card for my birthday last year. That fucked my whole day up.

"You can't stop living." She reminded me quietly, "I know it's hard to keep going, but please don't let this bother you so much."

"I've got a timer above my head, Alice." I grumbled, not bothering to look at her, "How does that not effect the way I live? And I'm not going to stop living. I just hate _people_."

"We'll figure something out." She replied, "Don't worry."

"If figuring something out was possible, it would have been done by now." I countered bitterly, "We can't run, because that leaves everybody here vulnerable. They'd just find us wherever we went anyway. We can't fight, because they won't spare us for any reason this time. I can't refuse, as that's just the same as fighting. As much as I hate it, I won't be the reason you all get killed. Sorry, but that's just how I am."

She didn't try again. I stalked inside as soon as the car was stopped in the garage.

"Did you have fun, shorty?" Emmett's chuckle told me he noticed my mood, and he was in the mood to push buttons.

"Really?" I asked, turning and walking backwards, "You're going to poke me right now?"

"She cussed out a department store clerk, and called her a hooker." Alice sighed, disappointed. Emmett laughed at that report, unable to help it.

"That was mean!" Emmett laughed after me as I continued on.

"Bite me." I called back with more force this time, irritated. I just wanted to lay in my room for a little while. My mood would fix itself with enough time alone. It always did.

"Time and place, shorty!" He called, and I knew he was following me, "Carlisle, your teenager is on the warpath again."

"Emmett, shut the _fuck_ up." I called, pausing in the living room. Sighing deeply, I laid back on the couch. I'd rather be talked to here, than in my room.

"Or what?" He asked, stepping into the room, "Come on, shorty. What're you gonna do?" He always got me with that one.

"Stop picking on her." Alice sighed, coming into the room behind him. She continued on, though, toward my room. Probably to put the clothes I'd just gotten today away. Carlisle descended the stairs, and I sighed. Knowing I was going to get talked down. Again. I laid to the side, staring up at the ceiling.

Carlisle was always right, and I knew arguing with him about my mood would do no good.

"I've decided." This was a new start to his usual speeches, and I looked up at him beside the couch, "You may go."

My eyes widened as I realized what he was talking about. The argument Emmett and I were having before we left. I'd just gotten permission.

A week ago, I'd been invited to go along with Zack and Josh on their normal trip to California for two weeks. Heather wasn't going this year, because she chose to work instead. There was a seat open in their car this year, and it was offered to me.

We'd be staying at Ken's beach house for two weeks, while Ken stayed in Seattle. That was what was explained to me, and that was a major part of my argument. I would be alright with the boys and Mike. I couldn't help smiling, though hesitantly.

"Seriously?" I asked hopefully, my mood instantly brightening. Esme smiled from behind him, nodding in answer. I squealed in happiness, jumping up.

"You've got to be kidding." Emmett's expression was now one of horror, "You know she's just going to come back pregnant."

"No I won't." I rolled my eyes in his direction. Looking at him from where I stood, hugging Esme. I had a feeling she had a big part in changing Carlisle's mind.

"Josh is the one I'm worried about. Zack is just as much of a threat, but you've always had a thing for Josh." Emmett replied, "He's fifteen, Leandra."

"He's still fourteen until the sixteenth." I reminded him, "And he has a girlfriend. Who isn't me."

"Boys don't think about things like that." He countered. I crossed my arms, glaring up at him. He mimicked my posture, right down to glaring.

"But I do." I countered.

"Guaranteed, you won't be thinking. Even if it's not Josh. Some boy is going to see you, and you won't even see it coming." He said, and I gasped, offended at his lack of faith in my intelligence, "Hey, I'm just being realistic. I don't want you coming back pregnant, because some smooth-talking Casanova talked his way into your shorts."

"I don't think I've been more thoroughly repulsed." I growled, looking to Carlisle again, "I'm not even thirteen yet. Make him shut up."

"Carlisle, I'm letting you know now that I'm so far beyond disapproving of this, it's not even funny." Emmett sighed, looking to Carlisle as well.

"I think it's about time we start trusting her more." Carlisle said in return.

"Remember what happened the last time we trusted her?" He asked in return, "I know you do."

He was talking about the fire I'd set in the abandoned warehouse just east of town six months before. I hadn't been thinking, and didn't even consider how fast old wood burns. It had just been me, Josh, and a couple of his older friends. That had been the very worst time for that place to burn, too.

"Am I going to be punished for that forever?" I asked, "Because if I am, it'd be helpful to know now."

"Forever doesn't even cover it." Emmett grumbled, "You could have died, shorty."

"Then I could just add that to my list of 'almost killed me' things." It was almost funny when we stared each other down like this. Not only because he was still so much taller than me, but because I normally didn't give up unless I had to.

"The point is," Carlisle called our attention now, "I'm trusting her. She's getting old enough that she deserves it."

"Ha." I snapped smugly Emmett's direction, turning. I headed off toward my room to start packing. I'd have to let Josh know I had gotten the go-ahead. A little close call, considering they were leaving the next morning.

"A few rules." Carlisle called after me, and I paused in the hallway. Sighing, I turned back around.

"Ha." Emmett snapped, smirking.

"You'll keep your phone on you at all times." Carlisle said, "If I call, and you don't answer within three rings, I'm bringing you home. I don't care what your excuse is." I winced, sighing again.

"Okay." I agreed, letting him know to continue. I knew he'd keep that promise.

"I've made a request with Mike." I was already humiliated, "He doesn't trust Josh as much as I'm trusting you, so he's agreed to keep an eye on the both of you."

"Aw, man." I whined, covering my face with my hands, before looking at him again, "You know he actually will, right?"

"I do know that." Carlisle nodded, "That is the only way I even considered letting you go."

"So much for trusting me."

"It's those boys I don't trust." He explained, "Now. Final rule." I waited, crossing my arms, "You don't hesitate to call. For any reason."

"Done." I grinned, turning again.

"Leandra, I mean it." He followed me as I made my way into my room, "None of this worrying about bothering me, or thinking it's not important enough."

"Yeah, yeah." I mumbled, already halfway into my closet.

"If I find out you hesitated," He said, "I won't feel the slightest bit guilty for assigning Alice body guard duty for the rest of your days. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." I answered, tossing shirts onto the floor behind me. I sighed, standing, "Where the hell is that green shirt?"

"Did I hear body guard duty?" Alice was suddenly in the doorway.

"Uh-uh." I said, stepping back incredulously, "He said if I was bad. I haven't been bad yet."

"You're leaving the _state_." Alice stressed, "I think this calls for a little bit of watching. Especially since I can't look ahead for you."

"No it doesn't." I replied, "I will be perfectly fine. I know the rules, and I have every intention of following them. I'm not stupid anymore, Alice." I looked sternly to Carlisle, "Promise me I won't be followed anyway. You know you can trust me."

He sighed.

"Promise me." I insisted, crossing my arms. He gave me a look, "The last time I really messed up was six and a half months ago. How was I supposed to know that old warehouse would burn that fast?"

"You're not helping your case." He reminded me, and I shut up.

"I turn thirteen in two days." I whined, "All I'm asking for is just a _little_ bit of trust. A _little_ bit of freedom. That's it, and that means no following me around like the damn CIA." I could see I was swaying him, so I put on my best innocent smile, "Please? I'll follow your rules, and even give you permission to change them at any time. Please. _Please_ don't let Alice stalk me."

"Alright." He finally chuckled, "Alright, Leandra. You won't be followed. As much as that bothers me, I know it's what you want."

"Thank you." I sighed, grinning.

I really couldn't wait. I had a week's worth of clothes packed in one bag in under an hour, and under Alice's pressure, a bathing suit I hated with a passion. A purple stringy bikini, with a bright pink floral pattern. I didn't own any other bathing suits, so that one would have to do for then.

Sleep was nearly impossible, but I managed to get an hour or two when the excitement would ease enough to let me. I gave up trying after five in the morning, scooting across the hall for a shower.

"Only leaving the state would be reason enough to get her butt out of bed before noon." Emmett commented when I scooted back across the hall. I flipped him off before shutting the door.

I could only hope my luck held out, and Edward stayed away long enough for me to get going. The last thing I needed was for him to tattle about why I was excited.

I had my bag in hand three restless hours later. We stood on the porch, waiting.

"Leandra." I looked back at Carlisle, trying to ease my nerves, "I want to specify rules for this as well." I slowly reached up and took what he offered. I was amazed, looking at it wide eyed, before looking back up at him.

"Mostly for emergencies." He said, "I'm not sending you that far away without a way to get money." The credit card felt too heavy in my hand as I looked it over, "You can use it for clothing, in case what you have is too warm, and things to eat if you're out. I know you'll be responsible with it."

"You know me better than that." I said, pulling my pretty empty wallet to myself, and placing the card gently inside, "I won't go buying tons of stuff. It'll take a miracle for me to even think about using it." Which was the truth, but I appreciated the gesture.

Up until that card had been nestled in there, my wallet had very little worth. Maybe fourty-three bucks in random bills that had been in there for months now, and thirty-seven cents in change. My I.D. and that was pretty much it. If I could be trusted with anything, which wasn't much, it was money.

Minutes later, I smiled, watching as Mike pulled up. I turned, hugging Carlisle briefly, I smiled up at him.

"Thank you for letting me go." I told him, smiling as I gave Esme a hug next, "And tell Emmett that he has absolutely nothing to worry about."

"I'll try." Esme laughed, "You know he won't listen to me. Go have fun, honey. We'll see you in two weeks."

I grinned, and nodded. Running off to the car. Josh climbed out of the backseat to take my bag from me, giving me a smile.

"I can't believe they agreed to let you go." He told me, grinning to match mine. I followed as he stepped around the back, finding room in the back of the smaller SUV for my bag right on top. He playfully shoved me on our way back around the car. Zack climbed out as well, hugging me in greeting. He pulled open the door for me, and offered the backseat to me, but Mike spoke up from the front seat.

"Uhm.." All three of us paused, looking to him, "Leandra, how about you sit up front with me?"

"Aw, come on." I whined, and he chuckled.

"Sorry." He muttered, not sounding sorry in the least. I glanced to Carlisle and Esme still on the porch, and their smiles told me they heard. I sighed, but shrugged. Zack pulled this door open for me now, and I climbed into the passenger seat. I wasn't bothered by this yet.

I knew Mike better than Carlisle did, clearly, and all of this was merely an act. I wasn't bothered by Mike's attempted authority. All I had to do was be patient.

However, before Josh or Zack could get in, all three of us looked toward the porch at Emmett's call as he made his way out onto the porch, Jasper following closely. I slid down the seat a little, Mike chuckling beside me.

"Emmett." I warned out the window, "Leave them alone."

"Just one second." Emmett wasn't playing around, "Just a quick word." He slapped a now very nervous Josh on the shoulder, leading him a few steps away. Jasper herding Zack along with them.

"Never fails." Mike muttered, shaking his head, "I'm actually surprised- Oh wait. Here they come." I glanced back, dying a little more as Rosalie and Alice came from inside as well.

"Oh god." I whined, "Guys, leave them alone." Esme was trying so hard to stop laughing, but wasn't very successful.

Out of the four of them, Rosalie seemed the most intimidating, Emmett a close second. Both Josh and Zack nodded their heads almost continuously, and I felt lucky to have heard Rose's parting warning.

"Paws off." She pointed to the both of them, "Or I'll remove them permanently." I could imagine the looks on their faces.

"Creative." Mike nodded a little, having heard as well.

"Okay." I called out the window, "Can we _go_ now?"

"Let's just let that sink in for a minute." Rose replied, glaring to the two boys in front of her. I rolled my eyes.

"I think it's in as far as it'll sink, Rosalie." I replied, "They'd be nuts to cross you. Much less Emmett. Or anyone else threatening their lives."

"Good point." Rose finally admitted, "Okay. You can go. Have fun, but not too much fun. Understand?"

"Perfectly." Zack replied, nodding quickly. She accepted that, and they both turned at the same time. Scooting quickly back to the car. I rolled my eyes again, shaking my head.

If she only knew.

Mike started toward the drive, and Josh chuckled, leaning forward from the backseat. The smile that came to my face once we hit the highway was felt.

"So-"

"Wait." I interrupted. We weren't far enough away yet.

"Why-"

"Just.. Wait." I wasn't stupid. I was taking no risks. I made him wait until we were through town, and on the interstate before I turned, smiling a little, "Okay." He instantly leaned forward again, and I grinned. Pressing a kiss to his lips, he smiled along with me.

If my family knew how often I'd actually nearly gone too far with him, they'd have locked me in the house, and refuse to let me see the light of day again. I'd always set clear boundaries with Josh, but those were becoming increasingly thinner each time I saw him, and spent longer than thirty seconds kissing him.

Mike, perfectly aware of our increasing closeness, hardly put down his foot regarding the issue. He was far more passive than he had been when we were younger, and far more passive than Carlisle clearly thought.

Now, had that been all, I had a slight hope of being ungrounded before my sixteenth birthday, but it really wasn't. I was responsible for so many more stupid decisions on my part that my family had no clue about. I'd done some really stupid stuff, but there was one repeated stupid thing I couldn't stop now.

Alice had asked me the day before why it was I was moodier than usual. I hadn't been one hundred percent truthful with her, which was how it always was.

I finally broke the kiss with a little nip to his lip, smiling.

"Did you bring them?" I asked hopefully, biting my lip, and I vaguely saw Mike shake his head in disapproval.

"You're kidding, right?" Josh asked, kissing me again, "Need one?"

"Badly." I sighed, and he chuckled. Reaching into the armrest in the door, he grabbed the pack of cigarettes sitting there. Pulling one out for himself, and one for me, he lit both at once before handing one to me.

I grabbed it eagerly, pausing for a second to kiss him again before returning to my own seat.

"You guys are going to kill yourselves." Mike grumbled to himself, but we ignored him. Much like we always did. Despite Mike's big appearance, we got away with a lot more than we ever should have, having outgrown being intimidated by him.

I decided then that the front was too lonely, so I unfastened my seatbelt, and climbed over the center console into the backseat, sitting myself between Zack and Josh. Just as I'd figured, Mike didn't say a word.

I sighed after the first long drag, resting against Josh's arm. I'd been needing one since I last saw him, but there was no way I was bringing it up to everyone at home. Either Edward hadn't said anything, or I was just that good at hiding it. Or he had said something, and nobody felt the need to correct me on it.

"Better?" Josh asked, and I nodded. He laughed, putting his arm around me and pulling me against him, "You can thank Kev for providing two weeks worth for us."

"Fuck yes." I grinned, "Thank you, Kev."

Josh smiled, kissing me again. Longer this time, and I cooperated for a little while, kissing him back for several seconds, until I pushed him away playfully.

"After nicotine." I told him, "Trust me. I missed you too, but you're not addicting."

"I beg to differ." He pouted a little, "I've been told I am."

"How is Sarah, by the way?" I grinned, and he gave me a look, "I know. No talking about your ugly ass girlfriend. She put out yet?"

"No." Josh pouted again.

"Poor you." I laughed, "Sorry. I really do feel bad." I leaned against him, reaching across him and ashing out the window.

"So then why don't you?" He asked, kissing my cheek, "I know you'd get used to it."

"Because I'm thirteen." I replied, rolling my eyes.

"She's fourteen." He said, "So?"

"None of you should be putting out." Mike grumbled to himself, "So knock it off."

"And besides." I continued as if Mike hadn't said anything, "You wouldn't like me anymore if I did."

"I think I would like you even more." He said, leaning in for another kiss.

"Right." I smiled skeptically, giving him a kiss in return, "Because I'm so nice, and pretty. You can't tell me that as soon as I gave in, you wouldn't go sniffing around for another girl. I know how guys think." I gave him a sweet smile before slapping his cheek lightly, "Emmett doesn't let a day go by without telling me what dogs boys are."

"You are pretty." He countered, "And one of the best friends I've ever had. You really think I'd hurt you like that?"

I hummed in thought briefly, before smiling, "Yes."

He gave me an offended look before I moved. Climbing over his lap to get closer to the window, I sat on his knees facing him.

"That is very unsafe." Mike told us, "Leandra, sit right, please."

"I will." I said, nodding. I took a few quick last puffs of my cigarette before letting the hot end fall off in the breeze passing outside the window, and finding the garbage bag in the car for the butt. I hated littering, so I didn't.

I went to climb off Josh's lap, but his hands caught my waist.

"Just stay for a second." He grinned, and I slapped him, hard enough for it to echo in the car. I started laughing, Zack joining me, his attention gained by the sound.

"Bam." Zack laughed, "Good one, Leandra."

"I'm sorry." I repeated multiple times, leaning forward and hugging Josh's neck. He laughed along with me, so I knew I hadn't hurt him that bad, "I didn't mean to hit you that hard." I kissed his cheek, and he shook his head a little.

"No biggie." He chuckled, "It sounded harder than it was."

"You know I don't hit you for real anymore, right?" I pulled back a little and looked at him. I had to make sure he knew that.

"I know." He laughed, seeming confused as he met my gaze, "Don't worry about it, Leandra."

"Leandra, can you please sit right?" Mike asked again, and I remembered.

"Right." I said, "Sorry." I slid off of Josh's lap, settling back down between Josh and Zack, "So." I sighed, taking Josh's hand, "Am I the only one you invited?"

"Actually no." He answered, entwining his fingers with mine, "Andrew and his dad will be coming in a couple of days. They're leaving tomorrow, and will take their time getting there."

"Awesome." I grinned. That news made me happy.

"We'll have a houseful this summer." Mike commented, "For once, someone is going to have to sleep on the couch."

"Did you invite Sarah?" I asked, grinning a little.

"No." Josh answered, "I didn't feel like having her nagging me the whole time, or wondering why I haven't called her in three hours."

"Ha." I said, "Just admit it. You hate her."

"She's got nothing in common with me." He said, "I've never met anyone else like you, Leandra. No one else will do."

"So I've heard." I smirked, glancing over at him. He laughed, shook his head, but took my other hand and pulled me across him to sit on his lap again. I sat there for a second, playfully moving his hands back and forth. He seemed like he wanted to say something, but considering his mood had softened drastically, I knew I didn't want to hear it. Just as he was about to speak, I quickly leaned forward and kissed him. Just to keep him from saying anything.

"So." I said, trying to lighten the mood, "What do you guys wanna do when Andrew gets here? There's got to be more to do than just sit around the beach all day."

I slid off his lap, bounced once, and climbed back up front. He slapped my butt on my way up there.

"Not much else." Josh said, "Well, there is, but Zack and I prefer to sit out on the porch and just watch the beach. I think you can imagine why."

"The girls." I answered, rolling my eyes as I looked back at him.

"Only one this summer." He grinned, in that shy boyish way.

"Nice try." I mumbled, unable to keep from smiling in return.

"So how'd you get them to agree to let you come with us?" Zack asked, and I looked to him, thankful for the change in the subject.

"Pouted." I answered simply, "Carlisle thought it was about time I be trusted." Josh snorted, leaning forward again.

"Like you can be trusted." He smirked, and I narrowed my eyes.

"Hey, I can be trusted. You just wait. I won't fuck this up." I kissed Josh one last time, before slapping him, easier this time, and turning, looking forward again.

"I wish you would." Josh laughed, and I gave him a look.

Needless to say, over the last year or so, I'd gotten closer to the boys. Closer to Josh and Zack than Andrew, though. I needed to change that. I was aware that I was just making it harder on myself, but I couldn't stop. I wanted to spend as much time with them as I had the chance to.

"You know I won't." I said, "Emmett is so convinced I'll be coming back pregnant, and he'll have to skin you."

"You kidding me?" Josh frowned, "No offense, but I don't want a kid."

"Neither do I." I said, "I'm thirteen, for fuck's sake. You know Emmett would gladly skin you."

"And I don't want to be stuck with one either." Mike commented, "So keep it in your pants."

"Dad, I'm not stupid." Josh replied, "Nobody's having a kid."

"Keep thinking that way." Mike nodded.

"New subject, please." Zack grumbled out the window. He was uncomfortable.

"Leandra, put your seatbelt on." Mike said, and I laughed a little.

"Eh." I said, "If I die, I die."

"Please?" He asked, and I sighed. Turning forward again, I reached over, pulling the seatbelt over my shoulder and across myself. Clicking it into place, "Thank you."

"There's a cop up ahead." I said, "Good call, and watch your speed."

He knew better than to ask, or doubt, so I felt him slowing down. Sure enough, the car passing us at 90 miles per hour was tagged, and I openly laughed at him, watching as we passed him stopped on the side of the interstate with said cop parked behind him.

My gift, though heavily hindered by the bracelets I wore, still worked. Not as far, and not as extensive as I knew it'd be, but I could still see. More of the emotions, like before with the medication, but this was different. I knew the gist of what to look for. I chose not to press it, though. I let it come to me, which was easier than I thought it'd be.

"I love it when you do that." Mike chuckled, shaking his head.

"You're welcome." I grinned. Nobody ever asked how I knew these things. They just accepted that I did, which was what made it so very easy to get along with Josh and his family.

"So are you excited?" Mike asked, glancing to me.

"Very." I admitted, "I still haven't been to California yet. I've been to Portland, but it's not the same. I've been to Denali, but that's not the same either. I'm assuming California isn't like Brazil."

"Not even close." Josh laughed, "You're going to love it there. Instead of snow, or wind or smothering heat, it's nothing but warm weather and sand. I hope you brought your bathing suit."

"I did," I said hesitantly, turning as much as my seatbelt would allow, "But I'm not sure about it. Alice insisted on a bikini."

"Oh hell yeah." Josh grinned, leaning forward, "Remind me to thank Alice."

We continued on the subject of the only bathing suit I had with me, despite how I hated the subject.

"I hate the stupid thing." I sighed, frowning a little, "I don't like it. Carlisle gave me his credit card in case I want to do some shopping while I'm there, so I think I'll buy a different bathing.. Suit.." I trailed off, watching as Zack slowly leaned into view. Both of their faces holding incredulously amazed looks, "What?"

"You have a credit card?" Josh asked, "Carlisle is trusting his thirteen year old daughter with a credit card.. Shopping.. Alone.. In California?"

"What's the limit on that thing?" Mike asked nervously.

"I don't know." I said, "I never asked, because I'm not using it to buy a bunch of random crap."

"Aw." Both Josh and Zack whined, leaning back.

"Carlisle is trusting me." I reasoned, "I'm not going to fuck it up, guys." I sat forward again, "He only gave it to me in case the clothes I have with me are too warm, and if I need something a little cooler. That's it. No, I'm not buying Josh a jetski, or Zack a car."

"Damn." Josh mumbled, and I knew he was being sarcastic.

"Shut up." I laughed, looking back at him.

It was a very, very long drive. My butt and my hips were screaming in pain from sitting so long by the time I climbed out of the car to stretch outside the hotel. I had to dive for my phone in my pocket, and answered it on the second ring.

"I'm here." I said in answer, "Can we make it five rings? That was hard enough in my pocket."

"Alright." Carlisle replied, "Five."

"Thank you." I laughed a little, "But see? I'm still alive. We're stopping for the night."

"Good." He answered, "I don't want him attempting that far of a drive straight through."

"He knows better than that." I sighed, sitting on the hood of the car.

That conversation didn't last long. Mike came back out, arguing with Josh.

"Gotta go." I said, "Five rings."

Carlisle chuckled, "Five rings." He confirmed, and we hung up.

"I'm serious, dad." Josh was saying, "I wouldn't do anything."

"I don't care." He said, "I'm firm on this." They stopped in front of me, and I looked at them in curiosity.

"Leandra, you and Zack will be sharing a room. Josh and I get the other." Mike sighed, ignoring Josh's glare from the side, "I hope that's alright. I mean, if you'd like your own room, then I can still change it."

"No," I smiled, "That's just fine. Thanks." I half-hugged Zack beside me, "I get along fine with Zack too."

"Okay." Mike obviously trusted Zack more than he trusted Josh, as he only chuckled, "Let's get some sleep, then. I want to get going early in the morning."

And I did. I slept like a log. Zack in one twin bed, me in the other. My shower in the morning was quick, and since we were in a warmer part of the country, I chose a thin t-shirt instead of the sweater I had been wearing with my jeans. Before I'd even left the room, I was answering a call on the third ring. It was Esme this time, wishing me a happy birthday. I'd forgotten.

"Thanks." I replied, smiling a little as I zipped up my bag, "And tell Alice to tone down the party when I get back. I don't even know that many people." I heard her curse in the background, laughing to myself.

"It's really not fair," Alice called, "That you can see me, but I can't see you."

"Sorry." I replied, knowing she heard it, "Just keep it to people I know, would you? Actually know. Not someone I met three years ago and have never seen again."

I was met in the lobby with a large cupcake, a candle sticking out of it.

"Happy birthday, honey." Mike chuckled.

I laughed, accepting the gesture, "Thank you." I didn't mind Mike. He was pretty cool, as far as parents went.

Only minutes later, we were all back in the car.

**A/N: Okay. I know there's a lot of talking in this, but I wanted to get this out there. First chapter is where we _first_ want to hit Leandra upside the head. :)  
Chapter two is where things start picking up. This is just the introductory chapter. Be kind, and overlook the spelling errors. I'm a little short on time.**  
**Hope you enjoyed this little bit of a tease, and if I'm careful, I can get chapter two out tomorrow. :)  
Let me know what you think! Cheer me up at work tonight lol**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

We stopped for lunch in northern California, and I was already amazed at how much brighter it was here. Warm, but not too horribly so. The air was a lot drier than I was used to, though, and my cheeks flushed by only sitting in the sun for just a few minutes.

"You're going to burn." Josh predicted, laughing a little as he lightly stroked my cheek with the back of his hand, "Quickly."

"After that, I'll tan." I muttered confidently, "No big deal."

Just like they'd predicted, the heat here was nothing like it was in Brazil. It was a warmth that wasn't quite suffocating. Lunch was a little rushed, as Mike was in a pretty big hurry to get there. I couldn't blame him. Stuck in the car with three bantering teenagers for almost a full day by then with only a could of hours to rest would drive anyone up the wall.

I was even starting to bug myself.

"Leandra." Zack muttered from the back, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." I muttered in reply. There wasn't much we could do while in a moving car.

"Hang your bare ass out the window." He said, and that got Mike's attention.

"Wait, what?" He asked, shocked. I unfastened my seat belt, and reached for my shorts.

"How long?" I asked, to Mike's further shock.

"No-"

"Five miles." Zack chuckled along with Josh.

"You got it." I said, and before I could unfasten my shorts, Mike's hands caught mine.

"Uh, no." He said firmly, "Don't you da- Leandra, stop. Sit back down, and put your seat belt back on." We all groaned in disappointment, "I've got an idea. Let's all just.. Shut up for five minutes."

"I was gonna do it." I muttered after a minute of silence, "I'm not scared."

"I know." Mike said incredulously, "That's a problem. Are you kidding me?"

"You made me lose." I looked over at him.

"When the clothes start coming off, it's time to play a new game."

Three and a half hours from northern California, we got to the house. It was supposed to be four and a half hours, but my guess was he was speeding a bit.

We pulled up outside a house at the end of a normal looking street, so I was pretty confused.

The house itself was very nice. Pretty big, but not too big. Two stories high, with quite a bit of impressive architecture. White stone, with dark brown accents and very large windows. It even had a little fence around the front lawn, and a three car garage.

When Josh said it was a beach house, for the weirdest reasons I expected a little hut in the center of the sand. Just sitting there. This was much different.

I hadn't seen a house this fancy since leaving home. I definitely didn't expect this kind of house from Ken.

"I thought you said this was a beach house." I mumbled, standing with Josh in the small, grassy front yard. He laughed, watching his dad unlock the front door.

"It is." He said, "Wait until you see the backyard." Stopping to press a few keys on a keypad by the front door, Mike led us inside. I had to look up and around, the inside very impressive. The stairs to our right were carpeted, but there weren't very many of them.

The floor a dark colored hardwood, with a very wide open floor plan. Ahead of us to the left was the living room, with very fancy looking furniture, and a tan colored rug situated under the dark wood colored glass coffee table. The ceiling in this area was high, but it looked like the second floor was only situated on the right side of the house, given the lower ceiling off toward the kitchen. It was a little weird for me to see the ceiling like that.

"There are two bedrooms upstairs." Mike said, his voice echoing in the vast space, "One down here. How you all fit in that room will be up to you, but," He turned, pointing at Josh in particular, "I'll be watching. I mean it, guys."

"You worry too much, dad." Josh smiled, stepping passed him, "I'll take the pull-out bed, and Zack gets his usual top-bunk. Leandra can have the bottom." I followed him through the house, towards the back.

Passed a pretty impressive kitchen, and turned right, following him down a thinner hallway. I couldn't help noticing, though, how the windows on this side of the house were a lot larger than the ones on the front side of the house. The view passed the windows was enough to steal my breath for a minute.

Directly outside the sliding glass doors between the kitchen and a small dining room was a partially covered patio, with five or six lounge chairs sitting along the concrete on one side, and a covered barbeque grill off to the right. The chairs looked like wrought iron, and were just missing the cushions. Passed the concrete of the patio, was a small back lawn, complete with grass, and another fence that matched the fence in the front.

Passed the fence, however, was a short stretch of beach. Light colored, almost white sand for about thirty feet to the water of the ocean. The afternoon sun reflecting brightly on it, and the people crowding the beach passed the fence. It was far from private, but nobody dared come near the house. Mostly ignoring it.

"You come here," I mumbled, following him into a rather large room on the left of the hallway, "Every summer, and you _still_ come back?"

"Yeah." Josh laughed, "As nice as this house is, we still wind up missing home." The carpet in this room was very plush, tan colored like the carpet on the stairs and the rug in the living room.

The far wall, across from the door, held three very large windows with the heavy looking curtains wide open. The view of the ocean beyond it unobscured by the fence. Directly below the windows in this room, was a decently long white plush couch. The wall holding the door had a long dresser against it, and a pretty large flatscreen TV sitting on it.

A bunk bed sat against the far left wall, the bottom bunk lifted up into a couch. The bottom bunk was a futon, the top a normal twin sized bed. The far right wall held a closet door, and what looked like an attached bathroom beyond a half open door.

I watched as Josh sighed and tossed his bag onto the couch, stretching a little. Zack wasted no time in crossing the room and stepping up the padded ladder to the top bunk, dropping his bag there.

"This is awesome." I had to admit, laughing a little.

"Ken doesn't do things half-way." Josh reasoned apologetically, "He's had this place forever. It was originally supposed to be just a rental place. You know, for vacations and whatnot, and at first, the company wouldn't let him buy it. Until he offered twice the asking amount."

"Damn." I muttered, impressed, "And what was the asking amount?" I couldn't help wondering as I headed over, and dropped my bag on the futon.

Josh shrugged a little, looking around the room.

"I think he said it was something like four-point-five million." He answered, and my jaw dropped, "Originally."

"So that means he would have had to pay nine million to keep this place."

"Yup." Zack answered, falling onto the top bunk, "That sounds like him. He gets his way. Some way."

"What the _fuck_ does he do for a living?" I couldn't help asking. Yet again. I was having a hard time even considering that much money. Even with living with my family for close to three years. It was difficult to imagine any living human being having that much money.

"I don't even know." Josh admitted, falling onto the couch with a sigh, "I stopped asking questions a long ass time ago."

"I think it's safe to assume," Zack mumbled against the comforter over his bed, "That college is paid for."

"Me too." I mumbled, crossing the room and sitting beside Josh. It felt good to sit on something that wasn't a seat in a car.

"You're impressed?" Zack asked, turning over, "Your family is just as rich."

"I never asked how much the house costed." I countered, looking his way.

"Probably not as much." Josh mused, "Because it's not on the beach. A lot of people are after beach front property like this. Big investment."

"Clearly." I mumbled, still amazed, "That's _nuts_." I sighed, shaking my head a little. Looking around the large room, I couldn't help wondering, "Where's Andrew going to sleep?"

"On the bottom bunk." Josh smiled a little at me, and I frowned, confused, "Or the floor. Who knows?" I understood then. Josh was inviting me to share his bed, "Richard will probably be the one on the couch. It's a pretty comfortable couch, so don't worry about that."

"There are two bedrooms upstairs, though." I pointed out, still confused, "Why wouldn't Richard take the other one?"

"Because then Ken wouldn't have a place to sleep when he gets here." My eyes widened at Zack's reply, and I looked to Josh.

"You said he was staying in Seattle." I said, surprised.

"He changed his mind." He told me, again apologetically, "Don't worry about it. He'll be coming next week, so we have some time." I hated even looking at him. Now here I was, about to share a house with the guy for a week.

"Does he know I'm here?" I asked quietly, looking up at Josh.

"Yeah." He said, "But it's okay. Try not to think about it." That would be why he changed his mind. I took a breath, nodding. I wouldn't let that worry me yet.

"Zack." We all looked toward the door at Mike's call, "Come here for a second." Zack sighed, peeling himself off the bunk and climbing down.

"You should have tried to talk him out of coming." I murmured worriedly to Josh.

"I did." He murmured in return, "Don't worry. I won't leave you alone with him for a second. I swear."

"There's still a good three hours of daylight left." Zack announced, coming back into the room, "Dad says that we need to get the stink blowed off us while he starts making dinner."

"That means get the hell out." Josh translated, and I laughed a little.

"He'll be watching from the house, though." Zack reminded him, "Just like always. Gotta stay where he can see us. This time, he specified the two of you."

"Naturally." Josh replied, laughing as he reached for his bag.

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't force myself to wear the bikini. It wasn't so much I thought I didn't look good in it, because I knew I did, but the lack of coverage made me feel very uncomfortable.

So I chose to wear a pair of light blue jean shorts overtop the bottoms. That made me feel a lot better, surprisingly, and I even figured I could get used to an outfit like this. Despite that, though, my stomach and back being bare felt weird to me.

I stepped out of the bathroom, and noticed I had both Josh and Zack's attention.

"How stupid do I look?" I had to ask, almost afraid of the answer.

"Not at all." Zack managed to say, looking to Josh.

"Not at all." Josh confirmed, shaking his head a little.

"You know," I said, "I would feel better if either of you blinked. Just once."

"You're never allowed to wear another sweater again." Josh chuckled, and I rolled my eyes a little. Tossing my clothes onto my bag, I grabbed my phone, and I turned, leaving the room, "I'm so serious."

I flinched a little at a thud behind me, and glanced back in time to see Zack picking himself up off the floor, and Josh following me.

"He ran into the wall." Josh explained, coming to my side, "What can I say? The kid is clumsy."

"Cheap shot, Josh." Zack grumbled, and I looked up at Josh. Ducking out from under his arm, I turned, moving to Zack's side. I chose to walk with him instead, smirking at Josh's incredulous look.

"Hey." Zack said, reaching over. Lifting the pendant I still wore gently, he looked it over, "That's really cool." I realized then I'd always kept it under my shirt.

"Thanks." I smiled, "I can't believe I haven't shown you yet."

"That's your family's crest, isn't it?" Zack asked interestedly, and I nodded.

"Sure is." I replied, smiling wider.

"Hey Josh." Zack said, "Look how cool this is." He came to my other side, and gently took the pendant in his fingers. Zack opened the back door for us, and we stepped out onto the patio where Mike stood working over a barbeque grill. Getting it hot.

"Hang on." I said, and Josh let the pendant fall. I stepped over to Mike, and smiled a little, "Could you do me a favor?"

"Sure thing." He said, looking to me. I handed him the phone.

"If my dad calls, can you tell him I'm not having sex or dead somewhere, please?" I asked, and Mike chuckled, "I just don't want to take the phone with me, and risk ruining it with sand or risk getting it wet."

"You got it." He chuckled again, placing it in his shirt pocket, "I'll use those exact words." I laughed. He got my sense of humor.

"Thanks." I said, and turned. Heading off toward where Josh and Zack stood waiting in the yard. Josh smiled and hugged me briefly. His skin already warm from standing in the sun.

"You look nice, Leandra. Really." He said, and I smiled, looking up at him.

"Thank you." I mumbled, suddenly feeling shy. The sand, true to their word, was warm. Not quite hot enough to hurt, but warm enough on the bottoms of my bare feet.

I didn't do any swimming, choosing to just sit back and watch the boys roughhouse near the water while I attempted to get used to wearing close to nothing. Not to mention the paralyzing fear I still had of the water. It was the one thing I had left that I had no control over.

The phobia of the water had not gotten any better. Just the thought of going anywhere near the water, panicked me. It closed my throat, and I had to take a moment to tell myself that it was okay. That I wasn't going to die. It humiliated me, especially in moments like this. Especially when I thought about the way I couldn't even take a bath.

Sighing, I stretched my legs out, burying my toes in the sand.

I was strictly a shower kind of person. No bath tubs, no swimming pools, no rivers, no lakes, and still no ocean. I could admire it's beauty from afar, and maybe get close enough to put my toes into the water, but anywhere passed my ankles was out of the question unless I wanted to prove to everyone just how big of a baby I was.

Josh understood. He didn't try to pressure me, knowing I'd move closer when I was ready to. Zack mentioned it a few times, but he was never the type of person to pressure anyone.

The beach was actually pretty packed, and I soon realized there were quite a few other girls wearing less than I was, so I didn't feel too bad about it. Until I started to notice how noticed I really was.

The guys walking by would turn fully around to look at me, mutter something to their friends, grin and continue on. As flattering as that was, it made me highly uncomfortable. So I wound up standing and moving closer to the boys. Crossing my arms over my chest insecurely.

It really was pretty here, though. I had to give it that. Right by the water, the breeze was cool, but the sand warm. The sun was bright, however, and it took me awhile to get used to it. I found time passed quickly here, three hours flying by before I knew it. It was slightly unsettling, but I figured that was normal to someone who spent the majority of their life under the shade of clouds.

This was much better than Brazil. I didn't mind the heat so much now that I had someone to sit with me. I had a lot of people around me, but two that I particularly liked. I laid back on the sand, smiling a little between Josh and Zack once they decided to take a break.

I could get used to this.

Just as the sun started to dive lower in the sky, heading straight toward the water, a loud whistle behind us gained Josh's attention.

"That's us." Josh said, jumping to his feet. He offered his hand to me, and I took it, letting him help me to my feet.

"I barely heard that." I laughed, dusting off my butt and legs.

"I recognize that whistle anywhere." He admitted as we started back toward the house, "I used to hear it all the time growing up."

Just as I always did, I helped clean up after dinner. It was only fair, considering Mike cooked. He was pretty good at cooking. I was always surprised at how well he and I got along, considering how much I didn't like him when I first met him, but tonight was no different.

After cleaning the kitchen, I stepped outside again. Just to get some air after laughing so much inside. I allowed myself a yawn, and a cigarette, leaning on the fence around the backyard facing the ocean. The sun had set about an hour before, so there was still a little bit of light to see by, but the sunlight was gone. The now mostly deserted beach pretty quiet aside from the sound of waves hitting the shore.

There were still a few people walking along the sand, but that was about it. One guy in particular caught my eye, though.

I could clearly see that it was a guy, and he was pretty tall. I could just make out his jet black hair from where I was, and his very obvious nonchalance. That wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me, was I could also clearly see him looking my way from where he stood down the beach, but the moment I looked his direction, he looked away. That bothered me a little, so I turned, heading back inside.

I almost immediately forgot about the guy on the beach.

That night, after watching a little bit of TV, Zack had fallen asleep on his bed, so we turned the TV off, and I crossed over to Josh's bed. We sat on the pillows, closest to the open window, facing each other as we smoked.

My skin was a little burned, so I chose to go without any pajama bottoms that night, and just a loose, light tank top to sleep in. I had never been shy around the boys, and I saw no real reason to start now. Especially considering Josh chose to sleep in nothing but his boxers. It had been that way for awhile now, though. That was nothing new to me. Whatever was comfortable, was comfortable.

It was dark in the room aside from the moonlight shining in the window. It hit part of Josh, and across the bed. Ending on the plush carpet. All we could hear was the sound of the quiet waves outside, an occasional breeze across the screen in the window, and our whispered talking.

"You shouldn't hit Zack." I scolded him lightly, "I know he's your brother, but still." With my free hand, I smoothed over the comforter.

"I couldn't help it." He replied, "He was looking at you."

"Lots of people look at me, Josh."

"He was looking at you _that_ way." He clarified. He was jealous.

"So?" I laughed a little, "It's not a big deal."

"It is to me." He said, taking my free hand, successfully stopping my smoothing motion. I laughed a little, turning my hand to press my palm against his.

"You should have seen how many guys looked at me _that_ way today, Josh." I pointed out, "You'd have lost your mind."

"I did notice." He said, "I just couldn't do anything about them."

"But Josh, you had the opportunity to hit." I laughed, "That's not very nice."

"I didn't hit him." He said, "I slammed his head into the wall. So technically, the wall hit him." Thank you, mister literal.

"I'm not your girlfriend." I reminded him, smiling slightly.

"You're as close to a girlfriend as I'm ever going to get." He said, "You know me better than even Sarah does."

"Sarah is your girlfriend, Josh." I said, "You'd be wasting your time with me."

"That's bullshit." He laughed quietly, "God, if you could only see yourself the way I see you."

"I'd hit you."

"It's not like that." He didn't seem to find that amusing, "Not really. I say all that stuff, I know, but it's not like that. I don't even know how to explain it."

I sighed, stubbing my cigarette out, and kneeling up closer to where he sat.

"You're wasting your time, Josh." I told him quietly, sadly, "I'm the most selfish person in the world."

"Why do you keep saying that?" He asked, looking up at me, "The way I see it, is any time I spend with you will never be wasted. I like spending time with you. There's nothing better."

"I keep saying that, because it's true." I murmured, "Let me ask you something."

"Sure." He said, still gazing up at me.

"What would you do if I suddenly disappeared?" I asked, "Never to be seen again?"

"I would never stop looking for you." He replied simply, "You know that."

"But how would you know that what you would find would be worth it?" I asked quietly, taking his other hand in my other.

"It'll always be worth it." He smiled. He knew he was being sweet, which he'd always known, but I didn't doubt it for a second. He felt what he said, and that made all the difference.

"So then.." I murmured, knee-walking closer to him, "Why does it matter whether or not I could be considered your girlfriend? You like spending time with me, and.." I sighed dramatically, smiling a little, "I tolerate you." He smiled in return, kissing me, "So why bother trying to change the way it is?"

"I just want to know for sure that you're not anyone else's girlfriend." He explained, "A peace of mind sort of thing."

"I'm nobody's girlfriend." I smirked, "I never will be. I've told you that a million times."

"Why are you so against it?" He asked, honestly curious.

I sighed, thinking.

"Remember my mom?" I asked, and his eyes saddened a little as he nodded, "She was a girlfriend. She was a wife. Neither turned out well for her at all, so I'll never trap myself in a situation like that. It's just.. A thing." I shrugged a little, "So no. I'm not your girlfriend, Josh, but.. You are the only one I kiss." He smiled again.

"That's something, I guess." He allowed, and I kissed him this time.

"So I have a question." I said, biting my lip and sitting down beside him.

"Another one?" He asked, chuckling a little as I grabbed for another cigarette.

"You keep telling me how you wish Sarah would put out." I said, and he shook his head a little, looking down, "Why? If you have nothing in common with her, why would you want her to?"

"I don't know how to answer that." He finally laughed a little.

"I'm just curious." I laughed quietly in return, "I want to know. There's nothing special about it. You're not missing anything."

"Because it feels good." He said, and I looked to him.

"You've done it?" I asked, shocked. We laughed at my tone, "With who?"

"Once. Okay, twice." He admitted, "Remember Becky?"

"Her? Rebecca?" I was surprised to find that under the laughter, I was jealous. Very jealous, "She reminds me of a flat-nosed doberman."

"She's not that bad looking." He said, laughing a little.

"I can't believe you chose _her_." I mumbled, "There are so many prettier girls you could have chosen."

"It was just something that happened." He said, "It's not like I was looking for her. Remember that party at Dylan's house that weekend before Halloween last year?"

"_That's_ what you were doing?" I was surprised, to say the least, "I was there. Looking everywhere for you."

"I know you were there, but you were just as-" He paused, stopping himself, "Are you jealous?"

"No." I muttered defensively, "I'm just saying you could have done better."

"Come on." He laughed, trying to kiss me, but I turned my head. He was the one to be surprised now. I'd never done that, "Leandra?"

"Let's sleep." I said, putting out my cigarette. I knew it was stupid to be mad at him for something that happened so long ago, but I was. He watched me clear off the bed, and lay down on my left side.

He continued to sit there for a minute or two, before he scooted over, half-laying behind me.

"I didn't know it'd bother you, to be honest." He told me quietly, "I'm sorry." It wasn't his fault. It really wasn't. I sighed, and rolled onto my back.

"I know." I said, "I'm being stupid."

"No." He said, "Not stupid, but you _are_ cute when you're jealous." I glared up at him, and he laughed. Lowering his head, pressing his forehead against my shoulder, "I can't win."

"Why Rebecca?" I asked, and he looked up.

"She was the one that came to me." He said, "I don't know why I didn't turn her down. I was curious, I guess."

"If I let you, would you want me?" I asked quietly, "_That_ way?" He was quiet for a second. Thinking before he answered.

"Hell yeah," He said, "But no." He tried to kiss me, but I moved again, frowning. I wanted to understand. He'd been bugging all day about it, and now that I was offering, he was turning me down?

"Don't you want to?" I asked, confused. Seeing that I was irritated, he laughed a little and shook his head.

"Not like this, I don't." He clarified, "Besides. You're still a too young for that. I don't want to wind up hurting you, or having you regret it."

"Rebecca was thirteen." I reminded him and he sighed, sitting up.

"You're.." He paused, "A lot smaller than she is. Was."

"So?" I asked, sitting up as well.

"So, you're more.." He trailed off, seeming frustrated himself, "I don't know. Breakable. And I want to do it right, not because you're jealous."

"That _wasn't_ why I offered." I huffed.

"Yes it is." He replied, "It is. Don't try to lie."

"Okay." I finally said firmly, and my irritated voice quieted as I glanced toward where Zack was still sleeping, "Okay. I don't want to fight."

"Me either." He muttered, calming his voice as well, "I'm sorry."

"Me too." I sighed, "Let's just.. Forget about it." I couldn't understand it. I was jealous, so I offered a solution, and when he turned me down because he was thinking about me, I got hurt. I wasn't willing to try to explain these emotions to him, because I didn't understand them myself, so I'd rather just have dropped the subject.

"I still don't get why you're so mad." He said, trying to meet my eyes.

"Because." I said, "You did stuff with her that you don't want to do with me."

"I never said that." He defended himself, "I only said-"

"I know what you actually said," I snapped, "But I know what you were trying to say. Because I'm so _small_, you don't want me."

"That's not what I was trying to say at all." He groaned, shaking his head, "Come on. You're looking too far into this-"

"How can I not?" I asked in return, climbing out of bed, "Okay, so I'm jealous. So what?"

"It's not a big deal." He said, "I swear. It was just something that happened out of the blue. It was just something I didn't expect." He stood up, "Okay?"

"Twice?"

"Well.." He sighed, "The first time can't really count." I frowned in confusion, "Because that was over way too quick." I think I got it, so I looked down. Away from Josh's blush, "It was just something out of the blue with her, but I don't want it to be that way with you." He laughed humorlessly, "I don't even know if that makes sense."

I sighed, thinking about it.

"Okay." I mumbled, sighing again.

"New subject." He said, hugging me to him.

"New subject." Zack's sleepy voice called from the other side of the room, "I'm not asleep yet, so shut the hell up, would you? Rebecca's a slut anyway."

"Rebecca being a slut doesn't have anything to do with anything." I replied.

"Yes, it does." Zack propped himself up on his elbow, "You're not a slut. She's a slut. What can we get from that? Josh likes sluts, but he loves you. There's your answer. That's why he turned you down. Not because you're not hot, because you are, but because he doesn't want to fuck things up with you. Now goodnight." He flopped back down, adjusting the blanket only slightly.

"Wow." I muttered after a few seconds, "That was pretty straightforward."

"Good_night_." Zack called again, and I couldn't help laughing a little.

We settled back into bed, this time deciding not to say a word. Just laying there, the moonlight on the carpet the perfect light to see by. Zack was right. If Josh had taken my offer, that probably wouldn't have gone over well. Just the thought made me cringe.

Sure, I liked to kiss him, but that was as far as I would ever be willing to go. Just as we were about to fall asleep, I spoke up again.

"You're wasting your time with me." I mumbled, "I won't want to do that with you without a reason."

"Then we won't." Was his sleepy response, "Or I can wait until you find your own reason." Cuddled on his bed, I smiled a little, finally falling asleep.

We'd been up pretty late the night before, so when we had to wake up, I really didn't want to. My head rested on Josh's shoulder, and I refused to open my eyes. I was way too comfortable to bother.

"Early start today." We both slowly awoke, Josh looking sleepily to the door at Mike walking in. He clearly saw us together on the bed, but chose not to say anything about it right away, "We're meeting your grandma in town for lunch."

"No problem." Josh yawned, stretching, "We're up."

"Five more minutes." I mumbled, grabbing onto Josh's arm to cuddle with. Wrapping my arms around it, and holding on. If he moved, he'd have to learn how to live without his arm, "Why's it gotta be the butt crack of dawn?"

"It's ten-thirty." Mike replied, "Dawn was about four hours that way." I knew he gestured behind him, "Come on. Get a move on." Josh moved the hand I cuddled with, and squeezed my knee. Finally getting me to release him, and roll over. Barely opening my eyes and looking at a very disapproving Mike standing there.

"Stop doing that." Mike finally said, gesturing to the two of us, "Or at least have more clothes on." He was referring to our pajama choices, "Or Josh will be moving into my room."

"They didn't do anything." Zack yawned, stretching, "I would have heard Leandra slap him." He was covering for us.

"Keep it that way." Mike turned, leaving the room.

"I'm not stupid." I called after him, "I'm sun-burned."

"Five minutes, and I better hear the shower running." Mike called back from the kitchen.

"I'll be sure to join Josh, just to make it faster." I announced, refusing to leave my eyes open.

"Funny." Was Mike's humorless response.

Zack nearly fell off of the top bunk, nearly hitting the floor as he jumped down.

"I'll go first." Zack mumbled, already on his way into the bathroom.

Josh laughed, yawning again. I continued to lay there as Josh stood up. Snoozing for a little while longer. Really not wanting to move.

"Wait.." I mumbled, "You have a grandma?"

"Mom's mom." Josh clarified, "She and Ken split like.. Fifteen years ago. They live in the same city, but she absolutely despises him. The only time we hear from her is when we're here. She doesn't call, and she doesn't write. Sometimes, for Christmas or birthdays, she'll send us a couple hundred bucks. She's not bad."

"Wow." I muttered, rolling back over, "She does sound nice."

"She's got an attitude, though, so be careful." Josh warned, "My suggestion for those meeting her for the first time, would be to only speak when spoken to. Keep the answers short."

"Luckily, I've got an attitude of my own." I laughed, finally rolling my lazy butt out of bed. Fully stretching, my back popped and I yawned.

"Just in case," Josh muttered, "Be careful."

Zack's shower was quick, and I wandered into the kitchen for some water while Josh took his next.

"What are your guy's aversion to pants?" Mike asked me, standing there with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"They limit our ability to have sex." I mumbled, grabbing a glass.

"You sure aren't a morning person." He pointed out, and I laughed a little.

"You knew that already." I replied, filling the glass and taking a sip.

"I guess you're right." He chuckled, shaking his head, "You know you can use the upstairs shower to speed this up."

"Nah." I said, "I won't take long." I sighed, leaning against the counter, "Did my dad call yesterday?"

"He did." Mike nodded, "He didn't find what you told me to tell him very funny. I had to tell him I was looking right at you before he would believe me."

"And you were." I allowed, "So it was true."

"He knows." He said, "Did you know your phone can video call?"

"I did not." I admitted, "He made you show him, didn't he?"

"He did." He laughed, nodding, "I had to move to the fence for a clear shot, but it's okay. I'd be just as nervous."

"He really doesn't have to be." I said, emptying out my glass into the sink.

"You're kidding, right?" Mike asked, giving me a look, "If anything, he should be more nervous. With the kind of stuff you kids get in to?"

"I'm a bad influence." I said, "Josh should really stay away from me." I listened to his laugh as I made my way from the kitchen, heading back to the room to snooze while waiting for my turn in the shower.

I didn't get to lay there very long before Josh came out smelling clean. I made my way in after him, yawning. As I passed him, he poked his finger into my mouth to interrupt my yawn. I bit him.

"Remind me not to do that." He laughed after me, and I turned around as I walked.

"You should know that by now." I stuck my tongue out at him, and turned back around to try to step through the bathroom door. Instead, I hit the wall.

"Graceful." Josh was laughing hysterically, Zack joining in.

"Shut up." I laughed along with them, closing the door firmly to shut out my embarrassment. True to my word, I didn't take long. Choosing to save washing my hair for the evening, I was out in fifteen minutes.

I'd chosen a light pink thin t-shirt, feeling confident enough that I looked nice. I was a little nervous, but had a feeling I'd get along with their grandma. I could only hope.

We'd driven through the city the day before, but somehow, it was more exciting now. Mike let me sit in the back this time, Zack choosing the seat up front. I still hated meeting new people. That wasn't new, but it was hard to dread that when I had so much to look at.

Their grandmother's name was Emily, and she was actually a very fun lady. She intimidated me, but fascinated me at the same time, and I understood the warning. I had expected an older woman, but she really wasn't that old. At least, she didn't look it. Maybe mid-fifties.

As it turned out, she had an attitude about her that would normally repel people. It seemed as if at one point, she used to give a shit, but not anymore. Like she'd lost that. I didn't like her, purely for the fact that she was Jack's mother, but the moment she spoke directly to me, I didn't know what to do at first.

Be honest? Or lie?

"So, miss Leandra." She said conversationally, "I'm told you've met my ex-husband." I nodded a little, "What did you think?" I couldn't decide what to say, so I told her the first thing that came to my mind.

"Batshit insane." I muttered, and Zack snorted into his orange juice. It was quiet for a few tense seconds, until she started to laugh.

"I like her." She said, continuing to laugh as she looked to Mike, "_She_ tells it like it is." She looked to me again, "Never lose that, honey. It's the _only_ thing that'll keep your ass out of jail for killing somebody someday." I smirked a little, unable to keep from laughing. If she only knew.

"But yes." She said, "He is. That bastard ruined my entire life. I'm _so_ sorry you had the misfortune of meeting him."

"Me too, to be honest." I admitted. She smiled a little, but it faded quickly.

"I'd stay away from him." She muttered, looking to her breakfast, "The best you can." I already knew that.

"You don't need to tell me twice." I replied, and she smiled.

The rest of the breakfast went well after that. I actually got along better with her than even Mike expected. I understood a lot of the things she said, and I understood her attitude. I doubted I'd be seeing much of her again, but it was still nice.

We left there to do some wandering.

I was able to find a shop that sold bathing suits afterwards, and bought a two piece with a little more coverage. The halter top letting just a little bit of my belly button peek out, instead of my entire stomach. My back was still almost completely bare, but that was okay. It was a shimmery bluish green color, and would go better with jean shorts than the purple one. I might even allow myself to go without the shorts, and just use the matching skirted bottom piece.

For good measure, I bought another of the same suit, but a different color. Shimmery white and red. I felt a lot better wearing that one, than the stringy thing Alice chose for me. One step at a time, I thought.

We went back to the house not long later, and it was straight back to the beach. Mike once more had my phone duty, which he didn't seem to mind. This time, I participated more in the water, chosing to just walk in knee-deep.

As I had predicted, about mid-calf I started to panic, but watching Zack and Josh move further from the shore like it was nothing, I moved forward. Knee-deep was as far as I was able to go, however.

One step at a time.

I moved back, and felt the panic ease, and sat right near the water this time. It was much cooler letting my lower legs into the water. I still watched the water carefully, though. Just to make sure it wasn't about to eat me.

"You okay?" I jumped a little at Josh's voice beside me. He'd come from the water without me even noticing.

"Yeah." I sighed, "I'm just getting a little hot. I think I might go inside." He smirked and gestured I stand up. I did so, and immediately, he stepped behind me, and hugged my shoulders. I yelped at first at how cold his skin was from the water, but eventually, it felt nice. I turned in his arms before the coolness could wear off, and hugged him right. He just held me that way, laughing at the way I clung to him.

Standing this way, I was reminded forcefully of the way Emmett held me about a year and a half ago. The way he cuddled me when I had a fever too hard to fight on my own. A hint of shame, and a touch of homesickness filled me for a split second, but it was enough to make me move back.

"I'll be inside." I said, "I'm hungry anyway."

"We just had lunch." He reminded me, watching me walk away.

I had to get a better hold of myself. Feeling this way was unacceptable.

Stepping inside, I found Mike sitting on the couch in the living room, watching TV. I sighed and flopped down beside him, still in my slightly damp bathing suit. He glanced to me, but didn't say anything.

My fingers held the pendant around my neck as I thought. What was I doing? I'd made a promise to myself. No regrets. None, whatsoever. Yet, here I was wondering what was going on with me.

I glanced over as Mike leaned forward and grabbed the can of beer sitting on the coffee table. Taking a sip, he never noticed me watching.

Sighing, I wordlessly reached over and stole the can from his hand. Taking a few heavy drinks, wincing at the taste before he stole it back with a shake of his head. I took a deep breath, before letting it out and standing with a smile.

"I feel better." I said, leaving the room.

"Paws off my beer." He grumbled after me. I went back outside, straight to Josh and kissed him. After a few moments, he pulled back and looked at me. Tasting what I had stolen on my lips, he laughed down at me.

"Seriously?" He asked.

"Your dad shared." I said, "It was just a little."

Andrew and his dad showed up just after breakfast the next morning, and it got better from there. Richard complained about traffic, while all three of us showed Andrew to the room.

Most of day three was dedicated to something I should never have even considered, but I did.

All four of us sat on the sand the entire afternoon, just talking while Mike and Richard sat on the back porch, watching us from afar and chatting to themselves. It was almost easy to forget the water to my left, or the stinging of my skin as the burn healed and it began to darken along with theirs. It was closer to the way it had been when we were ten than it had been in a long time. No time limits, no having to go home or part ways.

"You know." I said thoughtfully after a moment, "As afraid as I am of losing this," I lifted my pendant, "I've thought of a way to keep it, without risking it."

"How?" Andrew asked, curious. I heard the hesitation in his tone. He knew of everything I'd done, and he was afraid to even consider what else I could come up with.

"Think someone around here, for enough money, would give me a tattoo?" I asked, glancing around.

Immediately, Josh grinned.

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took soOoOo long. My neice has been here terrorizing us for the last few days, so I've found it incredibly hard to concentrate on anything but the migraine.  
Thank you to those that reviewed the first chapter! I love you guys lol I at least know it wasn't complete trash, and if this is trash, I apologize. Focusing isn't my strongest point again yet.  
I promise it picks up in chapter three. We meet our new character in chapter three. :D Yay!  
****Until next chapter, guys.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

It turned out, they would.

We told Richard and Mike that we were going out, and we'd be back soon. Believing us, we had the city to ourselves. If we somehow managed to find a way to get there. I didn't mind walking, and neither did the boys, so that wasn't a problem. The nearest ATM was used to pull cash. I didn't need some random tattoo place showing up on the charges, and Carlisle finding out.

I was picky. With as many places as there were in the city, I could afford to be. I didn't want to get it, and wind up with some disease, so I stayed away from the cheap looking places. The others, I had to look at the artist's work first, to make sure they were skilled enough to make it not look like a blob.

Then, came the real challenge. A parent's consent.

I knew Mike wouldn't agree, least of all Richard, but as it turned out after finding the right place, that Carlisle's credit card was enough proof of parent's consent to the right person, and the hefty extra amount I was willing to pay was only to ease his conscious.

I left it black and white, not wanting to have to have it recolored later, because the black and white, plus shading hurt like a bitch, but I was happy with it. At the artist's suggestion, I chose to get it done somewhere that wouldn't change too much as I got older. It was in a difficult spot, so Josh would have to help me take care of it for the rest of the two weeks it had to heal, but I liked it. On my back, just above left shoulder blade.

It came out really nicely, and it wasn't huge, so it hadn't really cost that much. It cost two hundred, but I paid three hundred. The detail was amazing, so he deserved it.

"You know Carlisle is going to be so pissed, don't you?" Andrew asked as we left, "And Emmett is going to kill you."

"No he's not." I said, "Because they won't even know about it."

"You seem to underestimate their ability to find shit out." He replied, "It's only a matter of time before they figure out everything you've been doing."

"You're not going to tell them." I said, "And none of us are going to tell them, so who else is there?"

"That's not the point, Leandra." He shook his head a little, "The point is, is that at some point in the future, they're going to see that. That's permanent. That's never coming off."

"Don't you think I know that?" We rounded the block, headed for the bus stop to wait.

"So." Josh said, "Let me see it."

"Recover it when you're done looking at it." I moved my hair, turning around so he could move the strap of my tank top enough to pull the gauze aside, "I've got to wear that for at least a day."

"Holy shit." He muttered, laughing a little, "That's amazing."

"Isn't it?" I grinned, "I think it's worth the two hours straight of sitting there. He wanted to do it in two parts, but I told him I wouldn't be here, and that I was fine. I wasn't about to pass out or anything, so he just kept going."

"I think I'll go to him when I get mine." Josh said, "Because that is awesome." I felt him replace it, and let my hair back down.

We got back to the house by dinner time, and if Richard or Mike noticed the white patch covering my shoulder, they didn't say anything. We ate out back tonight, as that had more room.

We were still outside passed sunset, not even noticing the time passing. I knew Andrew was right, of course. They would find out sooner or later, but for right then, I wasn't caring about later.

Out of curiosity, I looked up the beach, and again, I noticed myself noticed. By the same black haired guy. I narrowed my eyes a little, but didn't say anything. I hadn't seen him all day, and there he was. The same spot as before, the same nonchalance. He knew I'd noticed, and he didn't care.

By morning of day four, I forgot about the black haired guy. Especially when Carlisle called. It was so hard to keep Andrew quiet, but Josh managed to distract him long enough to get through the call without Andrew giving me up.

He asked about the money withdrawl, and I told him that I just wanted some spending money for around the city, without having to use the card. I probably wouldn't even use all of it. He accepted that easily, and I smiled.

When Richard decided to take Andrew and Zack to go sight-seeing, Josh and I stayed at the house with Mike, and the beer in the fridge. It felt so weird to stop at one each, but we worried any more missing, questions would be asked.

On a bad day, I could only have four before I started feeling sick. I'd been known to have seven, and still walk back to Josh's house with him to sleep it off. Eight was my limit, but only six on an empty stomach. I could normally have more than Josh could have, which was a little surprising.

I never once let myself dwell on that. It was a choice I made, and it wasn't predetermined by anything having to do with my mom. That's what I told myself.

Josh's friends were my single hope in anything I wasn't supposed to do. Otherwise, I'd have no chance in hell in getting my hands on anything.

I still didn't know yet why I did these things. I just did them. Nobody pressured me. I was usually the pressurer. I found I was becoming increasingly better at manipulating people the older I got. With a well timed smile, I got whatever I wanted out of them. Hence, the tattoo. I'd charmed that guy pretty good.

I'd tried some things I probably never should have tried, but that was the fun of it.

Showering was a trick with the new tattoo on my shoulder. I couldn't get it wet, so I had to be careful. I didn't want to wind up fucking it up the day I got it, and have to go back in to have it fixed.

By day four, I was beginning to love it here. No pressures like at home, and no real responsibilities. I could almost forget about the problems I faced later. I didn't have to answer to anyone. I was now allowed to leave my tattoo uncovered around the house. As long as I kept it out of direct sunlight, I was good to go.

It was still only a day old, though, and had a long road of healing ahead of it, but that was fine. I knew it'd be healed by the time I went home. Then, they couldn't do anything about it.

Mike's first glance of the tattoo bothered him, but he didn't yell at me. He demanded to know if Josh or Zack got one, but he didn't yell at me. I could only hope he didn't decide to tell Carlisle about it. He hadn't mentioned anything else yet, so I wasn't too worried about it. A, 'Not his daughter' sort of thing.

The evening of day four, I stood outside once more. This time still standing in my bathing suit. I hadn't changed out of it yet, only having pulled a t-shirt over my head. I made sure to keep said tattoo out of the sunlight, to prevent fading, but I still spent awhile on the beach with the boys.

It was quiet out tonight, the beach deserted fully this time. I chose to tie my hair up, the slight breeze making it blow uncomfortably into my face.

The boys were already in the room, and I just needed some air. I would go back in in a little while, but now that Richard was here, we had to be careful about where we smoked. We really didn't want to get into trouble, or get Kevin into trouble for buying them for us. Andrew knew, of course, but he wouldn't rat us out. We both knew that.

Leaning on the backyard fence, I looked out toward the ocean. I couldn't really see the stars here, but the moon was bright enough to look at, even as it was nearly crescent. From here, the beach looked mostly deserted. Where a ton of people had been earlier in the day, there was no one now.

Except there was someone. Where there was no one before, there stood someone now. Without me even seeing where he'd come from, he was standing there. Down the beach a ways, but there he was.

I glanced around, standing straighter. Trying to figure out where he'd come from, but really being unable to. I knew for a fact that he hadn't been there before.

However, looking closer, I recognized the guy standing there. He'd been the one there before. And once again, he was watching me. There was only one explanation for his sudden appearance that way, and the way he watched me. That only had to mean one thing.

Dammit! Carlisle had promised me!

Suddenly angry, I glared toward the guy, having no doubts now that he saw me. I stepped out the gate, and started straight across the sand toward him. Barefoot, I was about to give him a piece of my mind. He didn't move, except his eyes. From what I could see, he watched me coming closer, but didn't move to leave. Probably knowing I'd already seen him, so he might as well stay.

"Hey." I called once I was close enough, "What the hell are-"

"You should probably put some clothes on." He muttered, seeming completely bored. That statement completely threw me off for a second, and for a second, I stopped walking. I recognized nothing about his voice, which only told me I didn't know him.

"Who are you?" I demanded when I could breathe again, continuing until I stood right beside him, "You're watching me, aren't-"

"Yes." He responded simply, not bothered in the least by my demanding tone, "I am. That's my job, princess."

"Don't you fucking call me that." I crossed my arms over my chest, "Well, when you get back, you can tell Carlisle that he's-"

"Carlisle?" He asked, laughing a little.

"Will you let me talk?" I barked, getting quite irritated how I couldn't finish anything I was trying to say.

"You have nothing to say." He said, finally looking my way, "Should I?" I narrowed my eyes, looking him over.

Very obviously immortal, but again, I recognized no part of him. He looked about sixteen or seventeen, but a very strong sixteen, and his attitude seemed almost parallel to mine. His jet black hair smoothed back, but still somehow tousled, matched his clothing. All he wore was a simple black t-shirt, and black jeans. Continuing on right to the black heavy shoes he wore.

He was confident, that was clear, and he was dangerous. What caught my attention most was his deep, crimson eyes, and the trouble I had breathing when he noticed my inspection of him and he smirked.

Where the hell had the anger gone?

For one of the first times in my life, I was speechless. I tried to make myself speak, to say something, but I really couldn't. Stunned into silence, my glare faded. I suddenly found myself wishing I'd approached him sooner, before I tried to regain my senses.

"My point exactly." He said, "You'll be seeing a lot of me, princess."

"Who are you?" I asked again, quieter this time.

"My name's Mikah." He muttered, "And yes, I'm perfectly aware of your name, but I'll call you as I damn well please. Problem? Sorry, but I don't care. My suggestion?" He smirked, mocking me with his eyes as he leaned closer, "Don't let it bother you so much."

He suddenly straightened, and turned. Heading up the beach. Unable to help myself, I scooted after him. I just had to follow. There was no choice in the matter. I knew the entire way that he could have just run off without me having a clue as to where he'd gone, but he chose to walk at a pace which I could follow.

He was toying with me. As much as that bothered me, I didn't care.

"Hey, wait." I called, having to run to catch up, "You said it was your job to watch me?"

"It is." He confirmed, but was quiet after that.

"Care to explain?" I asked, almost irritated again. I would have been, if I could breathe.

"Not particularly." He smirked again.

"It _was_ Carlisle, wasn't it?" I demanded, struggling to keep up with his pace, "He promised."

"No." Mikah corrected me, "They don't know anything about my being here."

"Then.." I frowned, unable to figure it out, "Who?"

"Let me put it this way." He stopped moving so suddenly, I bumped into him, "Your family and you are to be left alone, but that in no way means you're to be _left alone_. Understand?"

"Aro?" I finally asked, shocked.

"Did you really expect him not to keep an eye on his most prized possession?" Mikah asked, and again, I spluttered for a second.

"You work for Aro?" I asked, nearly losing my train of thought the second his eyes met mine once again.

"You could say that." He allowed, "He offered me a job, and I took it. I'm not stupid, princess. Nobody turns Aro down. Besides, I figured it could be fun. I've known you for awhile now."

"Oh." Was my brilliant response.

"My job," He smirked, continuing on his walk. Slower this time, so it was easier to string me along, "Was to keep tabs on you. Check in every now and then, and tell him what I found. As much as he trusted the Cullens to keep you alive, he wasn't about to risk you by completely leaving you to their care. Make sense, princess?"

"Perfectly." I mumbled, hoping he kept talking. His voice was quiet, calm. Almost hypnotic, and it worked. Easily. I'd never felt this way before. With as many immortals as I'd met in my life, this was entirely new to me.

He chuckled, obviously aware of how I felt.

"The more he found out about your.. Habits, the more surveillance you've been under. At Aro's direction. He's not happy with them, to put it simply." It embarrassed me a little to know someone else knew what I had been doing.

"I'm sorry." I replied, following him further from the house. Further from safety, and probably further from my sanity. This was crazy. Following a vampire away from human population, just to keep hearing him speak to me.

"I've recently been given permission to meet you. I had to wait for you to come to me, though." He smiled down at me and again, it felt like I'd been punched in the stomach, "A personal rule of mine, princess."

"Why?" I asked, almost stumbling on an uneven bit of sand. He caught me, easily righting me before his supporting hand was gone.

"Aro's not pleased." Mikah reminded me, "He wants me to step in, and do the job the Cullens are obviously unable to do. I can't step in completely yet, however. You'll know when I do. For now, I'm just to watch carefully."

"Which is?" I was finally coming back to my senses at the down-talk about my family. I didn't like it.

"It's my job to keep you safe." He told me casually, "Since they can't."

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" There was the irritation I missed so much, "They're doing just fine."

"Not especially." He countered, "Their job was clear. To keep you from harm. They're not doing that."

"Yes, they are." I said, "I'm the one-"

"So." He interrupted as if I hadn't spoken, "It's my job, from now on, to watch you. The Cullens aren't aware of this yet. I figured I would let it be a surprise. Consider me your personal body guard."

My emotions now warred with each other. It bothered me a lot how he thought he could just come up and tell me he'd be watching my every move. But I was happy about it? What the hell was wrong with me? What was wrong with me, when I had to ask what was wrong with me and not wanting to know the answer?

"Body guard?" I snorted.

"Assigned by Aro himself." He confirmed, "How nice to finally officially meet you, princess."

"There isn't much you can do during the day." I challenged, narrowing my eyes, "You're stuck there."

"Only here." He allowed, "But I appreciate the location the Cullens have chosen. It'll make my job so much easier once you go back in ten days." I glared harder, crossing my arms again. Hoping my senses stayed with me this time. Not knowing myself scared me, and it confused me.

"You can just stay away from me." I told him, hoping it was firm enough, "And tell Aro I don't appreciate this. Not in the least."

I turned, heading back toward the house.

"You underestimate my determination, princess." He called after me, "I'll be watching. Stop smoking, and put some clothes on."

I chose to keep my reply to myself, glaring back over my shoulder at him. If he thought he could tell me what to do, he was mistaken. Deeply.

The moment I got inside, I darted down the hall, straight for the guest room. Remembering the way Mikah made me feel made me uneasy. I'd never felt that way before, and now that I had, I didn't like it. Having my emotions turned against me like that wasn't something I appreciated.

Josh was still awake, waiting for me when I came inside. Watching me dive for my bag, and fight the side pocket open.

"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up.

"Nothing." I said over my shoulder, "I just.. Need to call Carlisle really quick."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I replied, "Be back in a minute."

I left the room again without answering him, in search of privacy. I didn't want to freak out in a place where someone could hear me.

The moment I stepped out onto the grass, however, the phone was taken from my hand, and I looked up at Mikah in surprise as he suddenly stood where only empty grass had been before. His voice was low and quiet when he spoke. Not quite threatening, but I knew it could turn that way in a split moment.

"I don't recommend telling them about me." He said gently, "It wouldn't end well. They'll find out about me when I'm ready for them to. Not a moment sooner." He leaned closer, just as he had before and I found myself once again unable to breathe. Involuntarily hanging onto every word he said, "I will remove _any_one standing between you and I, princess."

My phone was suddenly back in my still open hand, and he was gone. I stood there in shock for several moments, trying to wrap my head around what he'd just told me.

"Okay." I muttered bitterly to the empty yard, "Never mind then."

I turned, storming back inside. I tossed the phone onto my bag, and crossed the room. Still fighting my breath and sitting on the side of Josh's bed with a deep sigh.

"Really." He said, "What's wrong?"

"Long story." I mumbled, turning and crawling fully up onto the bed. I kissed him, hoping that would be enough to keep him from asking anymore.

I fell asleep quickly that night, my mind still on Mikah and what he told me. I could only think of one thing I wanted to say in response to that.

Fuck him.

I didn't need a damn body guard, and I certainly didn't need Mikah coming by and threatening me that way. Just who the hell did he think he was? And who the hell did Aro think he was, assigning me a body guard, just because I chose to live? I wasn't his yet, so he could calm the fuck down.

I didn't belong to Aro yet. I belonged to myself, which meant I could do whatever the hell I felt like doing.

Day five dawned just like it always did, and I quickly began to question whether or not Mikah had just been a dream. Was my paranoid mind just playing tricks on me?

Until day five ended, and I saw Mikah right back there on the beach. He was definitely real, he was definitely still watching me, and he was definitely still as breathtaking as I remembered.

That infuriated me, and that intimidated me. At the very same time.

But there wasn't anything I could do about it. Not a damn thing, so I did the only thing I could think of. I went on with my vacation just the way I was before. Ignoring him the best I could.

I ignored the feeling of being watched for the most part. I talked to Carlisle like before, never letting on about Mikah. Which I knew Mikah approved of, but it was more for Carlisle's benefit than his.

Day seven started in nervousness. With more pressing issues than Mikah's constant surveillance, I had to look forward to Ken's arrival the next day. The sand felt too warm now, the water out of the question, so I chose to stay in the yard. Sitting on one of the lawn chairs and watching the beach from afar.

The boys were all inside, helping to straighten up the house before the next morning. I normally would have helped but I really didn't want anyone to notice how shaken up I was. Sitting there on the patio, I strongly considered going to Mikah.

I might not have been able to kill someone, but I knew he wouldn't mind removing the threat. I shivered at the image of that.

No. I decided then that I wouldn't ask him for help. He could shove it.

"Relax." I jumped at Josh's voice in my ear, "You're too tense." I looked back at him, forcing a smile.

"You know why I'm tense." I mumbled as he stepped closer to the chair, standing fully behind it now. He gestured that I move forward, and I did, watching as he settled behind me. His legs on either side of me. I sighed, helping him move my hair and let him massage my neck a little.

"I know." He said, sighing as well, "But you know I won't leave you alone with him. He'd be stupid insane to try anything."

"You've told me that before." I reminded him, "It didn't help then either, because.. Well.. He _is_ insane."

"I hope that's not genetic." He mumbled and I couldn't help laughing a little.

"As far as I can tell, you're not insane." I said, "So you don't have to worry about that. I think by now, it would have shown up."

"Good point." He said, kissing the back of my neck. It tickled, so I laughed a little, leaning forward.

"Play nice." I murmured, "I don't like being tickled."

"Okay." He laughed, and I straightened back up. Relieved when he resumed massaging my neck for me. It was quiet for a minute, both of us watching the water.

"This looks like it's healing nicely." He pointed out, rubbing his finger over the tattoo on my bare shoulder, "It's already almost done. Maybe a few more days."

"It itches so bad." I admitted, "It's driving me crazy, but I can't scratch it."

"I got an idea." He said, "Stay." He stood up, and went inside. A few minutes later, he came back. Settling back down behind me, I jumped again and yelped loudly at the sudden ice cold sensation over it. I glanced back, spotting the ice pack in his hand.

"Sorry." He said, and I looked forward again, allowing him to hold it there. To my surprise, it actually helped. It relieved the itching without me having to scratch it.

"You're a genius." I sighed, closing my eyes.

"I know." I heard the smile in his voice, "You should have told me this was bothering you sooner."

"I suffer in silence." I mumbled, "It's what I do."

"I've noticed." He was disappointed now, "You've got to stop doing that." His sincerity threw me off for a second. He really did sound like he hated that trait about me. He massaged the back of my neck with one hand now, while holding the ice pack to my shoulder with the other. He was trying so hard to make me comfortable.

I sighed, standing. Turning, I sat on his lap again, and he smiled a little at me.

"Cheer up." I demanded, "I am the way I am, and there's no point in trying to change that or being sad about it."

"You're sure something." He laughed a little, and I kissed him briefly.

"I've been told." I smiled, hoping to ease his worry. I hated when he worried about me. He kissed me this time, and I smiled against his lips. I loved kissing him. It always cheered me up, no matter what mood I was in before.

"I want to take you somewhere tonight." He said suddenly, breaking the kiss as his hands found their way to my waist, "You up for it?"

"That depends." I said, "On where?"

"Not far from here." He replied, "I don't think one night without worrying is going to kill you. We have to wait until dad and Richard are asleep first, though."

"Oh," I said, "Sneaking away, are we?"

"Of course." He smiled.

"Sure." I smiled in return, "You know I'm always up for that."

It wasn't late that night that they both went to bed, and we were both able to sneak out by eleven-thirty. Josh and I left the room hand in hand.

"Don't get caught." Zack called quietly after us, "I won't cover for you this time."

"You're already an accomplice." I reminded him in a whisper, "By choosing not to say anything."

"Don't tempt me." He said, "I've got a bad feeling about this."

To be honest, so did I. I had a very bad feeling about leaving with Josh that night, but I wasn't about to listen to it now.

We slipped out the back, and across the grass to the gate. Being out this late, the beach was kind of cold. I was regretting my decision to wear a tank top instead of a t-shirt, but I paid no attention to that.

We jogged at first, leaving the house behind, and we slowed to a walk as we got further up the beach.

"I used to come here all the time." He said, "Every year."

"And you haven't lately?" I asked, meaning in the last few years, "You said you used to."

"Not for a few years." He said, "I hope it's still going."

We walked for several minutes, and I was just beginning to feel creeped out. I hated being out in the open at night. I could feel myself watched, but I already knew to expect that. We rounded the bend in the beach, passed a bit of rock which made almost a corner, and I immediately saw what Josh was talking about.

A little ways ahead up ahead, on a more private piece of the beach, was a huge bonfire burning. From here, I could just make out the shapes of people around it, and their voices. So many people. I held tighter to his hand the closer we got to it.

I _hated_ meeting new people.

"Go back." We both jumped at Mikah's voice to our right, and we stopped for a second. Even as Josh paused, he pulled me to his other side.

"Who're you?" Josh asked, obviously distrusting. Mikah was too far away for Josh to clearly see his features. He didn't know who he was talking to.

"Just go back." Mikah was almost bored, but the command in his tone couldn't be missed.

"Mikah, go fuck yourself." I sighed, annoyed. I kept myself from looking at him, just to keep my defenses.

"You're my responsibility, princess." Mikah reminded me and I closed my eyes for a second. I hated how I didn't even have to look at him, and he had the ability to take my breath, "And this isn't a smart idea."

"You know him?" Josh asked, looking down at me.

"Unfortunately." Was all I could say, glancing to Mikah in the dark.

"I know her better than she thinks I do." Mikah answered, "Probably much better than you do."

"Right." Josh snorted, "Freak." He continued on, tugging me along with him, and I clearly heard Mikah's chuckle.

"If you jeopardize her safety in any way," Mikah called after us, "I will be taking payment from you, boy." Ignoring him, we kept going. It was clear that Mikah didn't want to risk coming too close. There were a lot of humans around this fire, and coming too close would risk all of them, me, and himself.

Part of me knew he was right. I should go back. I should insist we both go back, but I still refused to listen. What fun would going back be?

I met a boy he had gotten to know years before. The first one that approached us, the oldest one, I didn't like instantly. He seemed perfectly nice, but my emotions were telling me otherwise. He looked about Josh's age, maybe a little older, and his dirty blonde hair was too long. Even longer than Josh's hair.

Josh greeted him like a very good old friend, so I decided not to say anything.

"And who's this little cutie?" He asked, looking to me.

"Leandra, this is Matt." Josh said, "He's the one who told me about this place. Matt, this is Leandra. A friend of mine."

"Friend?" Matt chuckled, "Side-lined, huh?"

"It's not like that." Josh answered, "It's pretty complicated."

"Well, let's see if I can't get you laid tonight." He smiled at me, and I glared a little. Not appreciating the way he spoke about me as if I weren't even there.

"Charming." I grumbled, stepping passed him.

"Oh." Matt chuckled to Josh, "I like her already."

My first taste of the drink Matt offered told me this was much stronger than beer. The first sip made me want to puke, but I didn't. I just took another.

Big mistake.

Especially considering how most of the night disappeared, and more often than not, I was on my hands and knees trying to keep my hair away from my mouth long enough to puke.

I half wondered how the hell I was going to make it back to the house. I was done. There was no way I could walk even if I wanted to. I couldn't even stand up. So I settled for laying face down in the sand, my arms folded under my head.

I had never felt so bad in my entire life.

"Dude." Matt's voice barely even registered to me, "You're wasting time. Get on that."

"You're kidding right?" Josh asked from beside me. His voice was just as heavy as mine would have been if I'd been able to speak. Weighed down. He'd had just as much as I had, but he hadn't puked his up.

"I've got to hand it to her." Matt settled to my other side, "She had more than I've ever seen a girl have." I frowned into the sand as I felt a hand on my backside, "You've had a fair amount yourself. Go get another drink. I'll watch her for you."

"I don't think so-" Josh tried.

"Go drink until you have no fucking conscious." Matt grumbled, "This is grade-A piece of ass right here. You've got to be crazy." A sharp slap to my butt had me trying to push myself up. I wanted to turn around and punch him square in the face, but I didn't make it that far. I wound up falling right back down, which wasn't a long drop.

"Don't do that." Josh told him, but even I heard the lack of conviction. He was just as worthless as I was at that point.

No matter how much I'd had to drink before, I never felt this way. This scared me.

"She's alright here." Matt assured him, "Go on." Another sharp slap had me whimper into the sand. That was starting to hurt, but I couldn't feel it. It bothered me more than anything. Making me nervous. I didn't like the contact, but if I would have opened my mouth to tell him off, I would have puked again.

So I just laid there, his hand only roaming. I hated how tight my shorts were, as that only made it easier for him.

"What do we have here?" It was another boy that had come over, and I hated him just as much as I hated Matt.

"I'm trying to convince Joshy here to go get another drink while we keep an eye on his little girlfriend." Matt replied, "She's not feeling too good."

"I can see that." Was the other boy's chuckling response, "Poor thing. But there's no need for Joshy here to lose out on more fun just because she's feeling a little off." Their bantering back and forth was making my head spin worse.

"Alright." Josh said, and stood up carefully, "But leave her alone." I looked up at him as steadily as I could, but couldn't say anything. I watched as he walked away.

That was all I remembered of that point in the night, but I woke up briefly a little later, because I remember next laying on my back, my head spinning painfully. Remembering being on my stomach, but not remembering turning over? That was the weirdest sensation ever.

Looking up through barely opened eyes at Mikah standing there. The fire illuminating his skin almost ominously. Casting shadows across is angry features.

He gathered clothing in his hands, shaking his head.

"I hope you know how lucky you are that I decided to come help you." He muttered, taking hold of my arm and lifting me easily to my feet. I felt fabric being tugged up my legs, and it confused me even more. Why would he pull bottoms over my shorts? I looked down dizzily, realizing that it had been my shorts that he was tugging into place.

"How'd that happen?" I mumbled, and he sighed.

"Three guesses, princess." He grumbled, "Humans disgust me. I'm taking you back."

"Back where?" I frowned, whimpering as he lifted me completely off my feet, carrying me bridal style now.

"Back to the house." Mikah replied, "Where else? Geez, you're a real genius, aren't you?"

"Where's Josh?" I asked, wishing I could just sleep.

"Don't you worry about him." Was his bitter reply. That was all I remembered him saying.

The next I knew, I was groaning awake. The morning light in the bedroom way too bright, and it sort of echoed in my head. Sending waves of pain through my head, all the way down my neck and straight to my stomach. I was laying in Josh's bed, just like any other morning. Still clothed, and very uncomfortable.

"Where's my grandson?" I jumped at the voice beside me, groaning at how that hurt. I couldn't think straight if I tried. A slap across the face had me flinching, and I finally squinted one eye open, and looked up at Ken. Furious if I'd ever seen him.

"What?" I asked, hoping he didn't hit me again. I looked beside me, seeing the spot where he should have been laying empty.

"Sober the fuck up." He said, "Work that worthless brain of yours. Where is my grandson?"

"Fuck." I groaned to myself, covering my face. A few seconds of laying there passed, trying not to throw up, before Ken grabbed a handful of my hair and tugged me out of bed. I whimpered the entire way to the bathroom.

He shoved me into the tub, and I barely managed to keep from hitting my head on the porcelain. He turned the cold water on, and started the shower.

I yelped, and was instantly more alert once I was soaked in the cold water. He forcefully turned me onto my back, sideways in the bathtub and repeatedly slapped my cheek until I fended him off. Fighting and struggling with him.

"Okay!" I shouted at him, spluttering a little in the water, "I'm up!"

He gripped my neck fiercely, pinning my head back against the other side of the tub. This time, I did hit my head, but it wasn't anything too serious. It hurt my migraine more than anything.

"Where is he?" He growled over the sound of the shower.

"I don't know!" I shouted, attempting to writhe, "I don't even know how I got back last night!"

"Where did you two go?" He asked, accepting my confession.

"Up the beach." I answered immediately, "There's this place people go to drink and stuff. It's just passed the rocks." He instantly released me, and left the bathroom. Leaving me to pick myself up off the bottom of the tub enough to turn off the water. My hands slipped on the smooth porcelain a few times as I struggled there for a moment.

Wiping the water from my face, I panted and shivered hard. Trying to wrap my sluggish mind around what the hell just happened. Ken was demanding to know where Josh was, which meant he never came back with me the night before. If he didn't come back, where was he now? I vaguely remembered him walking away, and I vaguely remembered asking Mikah about him, but that was it.

It bothered me how very little I could actually remember about the night before. I remembered arriving, and I remembered the first few drinks I had. I gagged a little just remembering how badly it burned my throat and the uneasy way it sat in my stomach.

I remembered Josh sitting with me, and Matt coming over. I remembered his hand on my butt, and how nervous it made me. I vaguely recalled their tone of voice, which told me they had every intention of going back on their assurances to Josh.

I remembered Mikah, and him carrying me back to the house. Everything else was gone. It made sense to me now what had nearly happened, and how very screwed I would have been if it hadn't have been for Mikah. The complete lack of pain in one spot in particular told me he'd kept me from that fate.

"Fuck." I was crying now, unable to help it as I covered my face with my hands and continued to lay there in the tub. It didn't take a genius to figure out what those missing pieces of last night almost held. That scared me, as I knew it very well should have. I couldn't believe I almost let that happen to me.

I finally managed to stumble my way from the tub, having to catch myself on the bathroom door to keep from falling. My legs didn't want to work.

What exactly went on last night? Josh had promised not to leave me alone with Ken. Yet, here I was. Alone with him. Well, I was pretty sure he'd left already, but I had been. From what I could see, nobody else was home. I couldn't find a single person.

I spotted the made pot of coffee on the counter and moved for it. I needed to sober up more before Richard found out I wasn't exactly sober. I didn't particularly like coffee, but I would try anything. Thankfully, it wasn't too hot, because I chugged three cups of it.

"Why are you wet?" I looked up at Mike's voice, noting their return. Zack and Andrew trailed in behind him, Richard following.

"H-Have you found anything?" I asked, and Mike sighed, shaking his head.

"Not a damn thing."

"He'll be back." I offered, "He has to be." I left the kitchen then, headed for the bedroom. I listened to the slight thuding as the two boys followed. I kept going. Knowing what they were going to ask.

I couldn't deal with this. Not right then. Not after whatever happened the night before. If I could get away with not telling anyone about that, I would. I didn't need to hear how stupid I was.

"Out with it." Zack demanded as soon as the door closed. That was a surprise in itself, because Zack never demanded anything of me. He never demanded anything of anyone.

"Out with what?" I asked bitterly, lifting my bag onto the bed, already in search of dry clothes. I looked to Andrew, "Can you please go get me some Tylenol or something please?"

"There's already some right there, Leandra." He muttered, gesturing to the table beside the couch. I looked, spotting the two white pills and the glass of water.

"I guess I'm a little unobservant today." I murmured, swallowing them quickly, sighing afterward. I tried not to focus on what happened the night before. Just wanting to keep it as far from my mind as possible. I was okay, but I wouldn't have been had it not been for Mikah.

"Leandra, I'm serious." Zack finally spoke up again, "What the hell happened last night?"

"I don't _know_." I sighed, shaking my head, "Just give me a min-"

"You know more than I do." He reminded me, "All I know is that you two left last night, and only you were back this morning. No sign of him whatsoever. We waited for him to come back, thinking he went for a walk or something. It's one-thirty in the afternoon. Where the fuck is he?"

"I don't fucking know!" I shouted back at him, defensive now, "Goddammit, Zack! Don't you think I want him home just as much as you do?"

"What happened?" He continued demanding.

"I don't know!" I shouted again in return, "I don't remember!"

"Cool it." Andrew's firm voice said, and sure enough, the door came back open. Mike and Richard both came in, followed by Ken.

"Answers." Mike said, "Now."

"Okay." I sighed, sitting on the side of the bed, holding my pounding head in my hands, "Last night, Josh wanted to go see some friends, so we snuck out. He took me along with him. Up the beach, passed the rocks. I must have fallen asleep or something, because next thing I knew, _that_ fucker was yelling at me." I gestured to Ken.

"How did you get back?" Mike asked, "And why wouldn't he stay?"

"I don't know the answers to either of those questions." I said evenly. Trying to control my temper, especially considering they were just worried about Josh. I was too, but I was also very overwhelmed. The tone of tension in my voice made the slight fib believable. Mikah had carried me back here. Like he said he would.

I wasn't one to start crying just to get out of getting into trouble. I wasn't, but it must have really seemed that way right then, because I finally did. I just melted, covering my face with my hands and just started to cry. Too much had gone wrong in such a short amount of time, and that was it.

"She's faking." Ken grumbled, "She knows more than she's-"

"Fuck you!" I shouted, "Would you all just leave me the fuck alone for five goddamn minutes! _Please_!" Clearly seeing the emotion in my eyes, and the tears on my cheeks, all three of the adults left. Followed by Zack. Andrew stayed however, sighing as he sat beside me and pulled me into a hug. That was all the invitation I needed to start crying again.

If Josh had gone missing because of me, I don't know what I would do. He had to be back. He had to come back.

I managed to take a warm shower this time, helping immensely in focusing.

When he still hadn't shown back up by nightfall, we all started to really worry. None of us had left the house that day, waiting for him to call or come back. He never did.

Trying his cell phone was a one time thing, because he'd left it behind. He hadn't said anything at all to me about where he might go. At least, not that I remembered, so I was just as worried as the others.

My headache kept up the rest of the day, but I just thanked my lucky stars that it wasn't worse. I never said a word, though. Knowing the blame could only be put on me this time.

However, the more Ken worried, the more his sights landed on me. I knew I should have called Carlisle, and told him who was here with us now that Josh wasn't there to stick by me, but I couldn't force myself to admit that. Not when I'd known for so long, and only just now would have mentioned it.

Just as I was headed outside for the evening, hoping Mikah would be there, I was turned and shoved against the wall by the door. I recognized the move instantly, and in no mood to be shoved. I struggled the best I could, given my current physical state, but that was no use. We stood in the dark kitchen. Ken glaring down at me, and me glaring up at him.

"This is _your_ fault." He murmured dangerously, "If Josh is hurt because of you-"

"I would watch the way you speak to me." I muttered up at him, "Or you'll be lucky to live long enough to see the fucking sun rise." His hand snapped out and took painful hold of my face in his fingers.

"Really now?" He chuckled, amused, "And _you're_ going to deliver this punishing move? Like before? I told you, sweetheart, you don't want to fuck with me." I forcefully shook my head from his hand, nervous, but not petrified.

"And you don't want to fuck with me." I replied, "Or I promise you, you'll be sorry you ever met me." My knee came up, hitting him right on target and he instantly let him go, "Wow. That's just what happened to your son. I'm on a roll." I went to walk away, but he hadn't fallen completely.

Grabbing my arm painfully, his grip like iron, he dragged me out back, and shoved me against the porch post this time. I coughed out a cry, having lost my breath for a second. He took my face in his fingers again, glaring down at me again.

"You just keep _testing_ me." He growled, squeezing my jaw painfully. I couldn't reply now, as he wouldn't let me go this time.

"You will remove your hand, and you will maintain your distance for the duration of this stay." I glanced over at Mikah's voice passed the fence, as did Ken, "Or I promise there will be a very swift punishment."

"Right." Ken laughed, doubting him, "And who are you?

"Who I am has nothing to do with what will happen if you don't listen to me." He seemed bored again, but the threat in his voice was very real, "Release her, or I'll release her for you."

As tough as Ken was, he couldn't deny the instinct to get as far away from Mikah as possible. It wasn't possible to deny it. Every human had one. The instinct telling them that it wasn't smart to test him, or any other immortal they came across. It was instant, and it was strong.

Just as I figured, Ken let me go. He gave a glare to Mikah, before turning it back to me.

"This isn't over." He told me, turning swiftly and heading back inside. I watched after him, rubbing my sore cheeks.

"It's over." Mikah called confidently to him before he managed to close the door behind himself.

I sighed heavily, before slowly making my way closer to Mikah.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, seeming to not really care in the least.

"Like shit." I replied, and he smirked, "But thank you."

"Don't thank me yet." He said, and I frowned a little, "_That_ was it, princess. The final fuck-up. I'm going to be around a _lot_ more now, and you'll be the one to explain why to the Cullens."

"I kind of figured that." I muttered, looking down, "Think they'll be mad?"

"They're going to be furious." He replied, standing upright with a sigh, "Good luck with that one. I'll see you tomorrow night. Just call out if you need me to kill someone for you." I watched him casually walk away, staring after him like an idiot.

I continued to see Mikah for a few minutes each evening, but Josh stayed gone. He was just gone. Without a trace or sign of him anywhere. Everything else stopped mattering. I did my best to keep from paying any attention to Ken, and from what I could tell, he avoided me.

I mostly sat with Mike, hoping to give him just a little bit of comfort. He was a mess. I could hear the unspoken thought in his mind, though.

'_Why him and not her?_' I knew it wasn't his fault, but I knew he was thinking it. They all were. A fuck-up like me, versus Josh. He was loved. By everybody that knew him. Why should it have been him that went missing, and not me? I wondered the same thing.

A hefty reward was offered for his return, or to anyone that could give information regarding him. The longer we went without hearing from him or seeing him, the more worried and depressed we all got.

Two days after the morning Josh never showed up, it was decided that we would cut the trip short, and go home. Ken would stay here, in case something came up regarding Josh, but there was nothing else we could do here.

The morning we left, I stood there in the bathroom after my shower, looking over my shoulder at the tattoo that was just about done healing in the mirror. Remembering the ice pack, I really couldn't help the small tear that trailed down my cheek.

I missed him. _So_ much.

**A/N: Okay. So this was the second edit to this chapter. The first one disappeared after the site decided it wanted to make me sign in again. *irritation*  
Okay, so.. After some RL events yesterday, I need a few days to recover. Yesterday was a horrible, ugly day for me. If this chapter seems a little iffy, I apologize. I'm just having a bit of trouble concentrating.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers of last chapter. You're amazing. Chapter four will have drama in family land, as.. You guessed it.. Mikah arrives. Hope you're looking forward to that as I attempt to figure out what the hell went so damn wrong in my life.  
Until next chapter, guys.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The day came when we finally left to go back home, I sat silently in the backseat this time.

Zack and I both trying our best not to cry, but sometimes it couldn't be helped. We just didn't know whether to be angry at him, or worried, because we didn't know if he walked off on his own, deciding to leave everything behind or if he actually had no choice. We didn't know if he left willingly, or if something happened to him.

Even removing my bracelets didn't help. I couldn't see anything regarding him if I tried. I couldn't see anything while awake yet, and even sleeping without them didn't bring me any help. It was difficult for Alice to see anything at all either, and that confused both her and I.

Before I climbed out, I made my way up front to give Mike a hug. I couldn't help it. He returned it, to my surprise.

"If this taught you anything, it's to knock it off, kid." He muttered, "I know for a fact you didn't just fall asleep." I looked down, "Just stop for five minutes, would you?" I sniffled and nodded, "I swear, it's like you're trying to live the rest of your life in a year."

"I'll stop." I mumbled, "I'm sorry, Mike."

"For what?" He asked, frowning.

"That it wasn't me instead."

"You really think I blame you?" He asked, "You crazy child, we'd be just as worried over you as we are Josh. Don't do that. Don't wish you could trade places with him, wherever he is, because you're just as important to us. You hear me?"

"I can't help it." I admitted, "I should have kept him home that night. I knew we should never have gone. You know I don't have many limits, but I agreed. I agreed to go, because I didn't want to disappoint him." I glanced back, spotting Carlisle and Esme on the porch. Deciding to shut up then, "If you hear anything at all, please. Please, please let me know."

"I promise. Take care, kiddo." He sighed, hugging me again. I knew he was just being strong. I could only imagine what Heather was going through. Not wanting to keep her waiting much longer, I turned, and climbed out.

Zack climbed out of the backseat with me to say goodbye, and this time, I did cry.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you." He mumbled into my shoulder as he hugged me tightly. I felt the warm wetness on his cheeks against my neck, and I knew he was crying, "I was just worried."

"He'll come back." I tried telling him through my quiet tears, "Try not to worry too much."

"That's not possible, Leandra." He muttered, hugging me tighter. I didn't know what to say to that. Closing my eyes around the tears, I let him pull back. Offering a tiny, attempted comforting smile even while tears trailed down my cheeks, I watched them leave.

I couldn't blame him. Josh was his brother. Someone he'd known, and had behind him his entire life. They did everything together, and it was so hard to see Zack alone. I couldn't only imagine how hard it must have been for Zack to actually be alone.

"He wouldn't just leave." I finally said, glancing back to Carlisle and Esme on the porch, "I know that for a fact. I know him better than anyone, and I know for a solid fact that he would never choose to do this to his brother. I know he wouldn't do this to his mom and dad, or to me. He wouldn't."

I turned from my place on the driveway, and reached down to lift my bag. Esme was suddenly there, helping me. She hugged me into her side, as I sighed deeply. Accepting the comfort, trying to ease the break in my heart. It felt heavy with worry. I'd felt it before, the heavy heart, but now it felt heavier. Strangely enough.

Before we'd even made it halfway across the drive, I jumped a little as Esme suddenly stopped, tensing against me, and moving me behind her. I stumbled a little on the way behind her, but managed to keep my balance. I didn't even have a chance to look up before I knew why the sudden change.

"This is a much better location." I recognized Mikah's voice immediately. The moment I heard his voice, I had an idea.

"Mikah." I said before anyone else could react. I peeked out from behind Esme, "I need your help." There was one sure way I could make my gift work, and the sooner I got this done, the better. If I couldn't see Josh on my own, there was one person who would for sure make my gift work. If he would just decide to want to see him, then I would too.

"Of course, princess." He grinned at how tense Esme was, and her surprise as he gave her a polite little nod before looking to me again, "What's your favor?"

"I need Aro." I said, stepping out from behind Esme to look at him, "It's the only way I know of how to see anything." She took my arm before I could get too close to him. Her apprehension was understandable, considering how big of a threat Mikah seemed to be to me.

"You _might_ not want to do that." He said, and glanced to Carlisle suddenly beside Esme, moving me behind him now, "Just my opinion."

"Why not?"

"Because the moment he comes back here, it's to take you." Mikah answered, "No exceptions. Is this really important enough to be taken early?"

"Shit." I sighed, looking down.

"Princess, you might want to start the introductions before they decide to do something they'll regret." Mikah suggested, and I remembered.

"Right." I said, looking up at Carlisle sheepishly, "Uh.. He'll be around for a little while."

"You know him?" Carlisle asked, glancing to the house as I did at the sudden population on the porch.

I didn't know how to answer, "Yeah." I said, "He's.. My assigned body guard."

"Pardon?" Carlisle asked, surprised.

"Aro assigned him to watch me." I explained quietly, "His job is to watch me. His name is Mikah."

"He isn't too happy with your methods of keeping her safe." Mikah spoke directly to Carlisle now, "Which is why I'm here now, and will be until she's taken."

"She's perfectly fine." Emmett pointed out from the porch, "What's Aro's problem?"

"If you only knew." Mikah said, and my heart sunk, "Can you honestly tell me that you're aware of the activities she participates in?"

"Okay, we get it." I mumbled, "You can shut up now." Carlisle glanced down to me.

"The point is," Mikah continued, "I've been here quite some time now, just to keep an eye on things, and let me be the first to tell you. Aro knows about all of this, and is obviously unhappy. He wants her in perfect shape when he returns for her, and I'm here to make that happen, because you're obviously unable to."

"It's not their fault I chose to hide what I do." I added, and he looked to me, smirking.

"They should clearly have rethought the amount of trust they placed in you." Mikah gave me a look, amused.

"What do you do, shorty?" Emmett demanded from the porch.

"Nothing." A knee-jerk response that amused Mikah even more.

"I'm not here to mess with your way of life, so I won't bother you." Mikah offered slightly condescendingly, "Live the way you wish. Around me, of course. My focus is her, and only her." I looked to Mikah now, wishing I could just disappear. He smirked and I forced myself to look down.

"I'll be around, princess." Mikah told me, "Just call if you need anything."

"So.." I muttered, and he paused, "Aro won't help me?"

"Not without taking you back with him." He answered again, "That's why I'm here, instead of him."

"Alright." I mumbled bitterly, "Never mind."

He gave me a nod and was suddenly gone. Esme lifted me, and in the time it took me to yelp, we were passed the group on the porch and inside the living room. She let me down onto the couch, and I sighed.

"Start explaining." Carlisle wasn't happy. Looking up at them, standing there on the other side of the coffee table, I couldn't look at them for long.

"I-I.. Well.."

"No lies." He clarified, and that shut me up for a moment, "I want to know exactly what you've been doing that warrants Aro to assign someone to watch you."

"It was only to just check up on me at first." I skirted the question, hoping to put it off for as long as I could, "Aro hired him for only that reason."

"Which explains why we weren't worried." Jasper noted, "I've found his scent before."

"That isn't what I asked you." Carlisle shook his head a little, "I asked you what makes Aro believe you're not watched enough here."

"He's just paranoid." I said, "I haven't-"

"Leandra."

"Okay, so maybe I don't tell you everything." I admitted quietly, "Just because I don't, doesn't mean I'm out to kill myself."

"That isn't what I asked you." He repeated, and I could hear his patience beginning to thin. Which was enough to surprise me a little, but I had to keep on the defensive.

"But that's my answer." I shrugged a little.

"What have you been doing?" Carlisle asked again, and I bit my lip.

"Nothing." I mumbled, shrugging a little, "It's not that bad, Carlisle. Really."

"I want to know what it is." He wasn't accepting my half-assed answers.

"And I'm hungry, so.." I went to stand, but Emmett stepped to the side, blocking my way to the kitchen. The look on his face enough to make me a little nervous. I sat back down, drawing my legs up.

"Answer me." Carlisle told me evenly, "Then you can eat."

"What was the question again?"

"Leandra, stop it." Esme was scolding me now, and I shut up. She never did that. It had always been a calm correction, never a scolding.

Round and round we went like that for almost ten minutes. I really didn't want to admit anything I'd done, and that was what Carlisle was asking me to do. I couldn't. So I carefully chose my answers. Replies that wouldn't give them any hints as to what I've been up to.

"Maybe I can be of some assistance." I yelped, jumping at Mikah's voice suddenly beside me. Dammit, he was fast. Nobody moved to remove him, but I knew instantly they really didn't like him there.

"I would prefer to hear it from my daughter, if you do _not_ mind." I bit my lip at Carlisle's tone, sighing.

"It's not the fact that she does these things that bother him, Carlisle." Mikah said, "It's the fact that she has the freedom to do these things. Control your daughter."

"I will control her as I see fit." Carlisle countered, "Now that I'm aware that she needs to be controlled."

"No I don't." I offered quietly between their arguing.

"I won't tell you what she's done, as I want to leave that up to her, but trust me. If you truly did not know, it's a lot-"

"Will you shut up?" I barked up at him.

"No." He answered, "It's my job to protect you, princess. Bringing light to your risky activities to those that are _supposed_ to protect you is my job."

"Fucking perfect." I grumbled, lowering my face into my hands, "Could this not have waited ten goddamn seconds?"

"Of course not."

I groaned, "I'm still dealing with this Josh thing-"

"You have no reason to." Mikah said, "If he hadn't of turned you down that night, where do you think you'd be?"

I blushed immediately, looking up at him sharply, "That's none of your damn business. You were listening?"

"It's my job." He repeated, "You're far too young for that."

"Far too young for _what_?" Emmett was losing his temper. His tone announcing that clearly.

"Leandra." Carlisle called my attention again, and it went silent in the room, "What have you been doing?" Glancing around, I knew it would be pointless to keep trying to skirt around the questions. I might as well get this over with. Mikah stepped back, his hands clasped behind him. Waiting for the truth as much as everyone else was. He already knew, but I knew I'd get no help from him.

"No, I haven't killed anyone." I mumbled quietly, just a hint of attitude in my tone, "And no, I haven't traded sex for drugs."

"Thank goodness for that." Carlisle still wasn't relieved, though. I waited for a moment.

"It was given to me freely." I admitted hesitantly, not daring to look up.

"Leandra." Esme was shocked, and I couldn't look at her either. I knew everything else I said was going to bother them. A lot. If that admission did, that wasn't the worst of it.

"Mikah was talking about the first night in California." I mumbled, "Josh and I got to talking, and I found out he's already had sex."

"With a girl that looks like a doberman, apparently." Mikah added.

"Thank you." I snapped up at him, "That's enough out of you." Mikah smirked, but otherwise stayed quiet.

"_Any_way." I grumbled, "I may, or may not have.. Suggested that _we_, him and I, have sex, so I wouldn't be jealous anymore."

"I told you!" Emmett barked, "I _knew_ it!"

"We didn't do anything." I replied sharply, "He wouldn't." That shut Emmett up, "He said he didn't want to do anything that I would regret later, or risk hurting me."

"I like him a little bit more now." Emmett admitted, sighing after a minute.

"And what would have happened had he not turned her down?" Mikah asked pointedly, "Have we considered that?"

"Shut the hell up, would you?" I asked, glaring up at him, "I'm not done."

"I know you're not done." He agreed, "Please. Continue." I sighed, trying to list them in my mind in order of their severity. Which wasn't easy, because a lot of them seemed just as bad as the last.

"I smoke." I said, irritated.

"Not anymore, you don't." Esme was the one to speak up, to my surprise, "That stops now." I sighed, nodding. I'd expected that.

"Again?" Alice asked, "I thought you gave that up."

"I know." I mumbled with a nod, "But it.. I don't know." It was quiet again as she shook her head in disappointment.

"I've stolen things." I continued quietly, wringing my hands in my lap, "And I've smoked things I probably shouldn't."

"Yeah," Emmett snorted, "At all."

"More than cigarettes." I clarified and he turned with a sigh. Something he did to avoid yelling at me. I didn't know what it was, but pacing seemed to keep his mouth shut.

"There's more." Mikah muttered, "Keep going."

"I've gotten drunk four times." I mumbled, knowing I might as well confess to all of it, "No.. Five times. The last time, I barely remember."

"Beautiful." Emmett laughed humorlessly.

"That was what made me start the warehouse fire." I admitted, "I wasn't thinking, and we were cold, so I came up with the bright idea."

"What else?" Carlisle demanded, his arms crossed. He knew I wasn't done. I glanced up at him, hoping I wasn't disappointing him too much. The thing was, he and I both knew I could do better. Especially considering how hard it was to tell them everything I'd been doing for the last year or so.

I couldn't make myself see his disappointed gaze anymore, so I looked back down to my hands in my lap. They weren't accusing.

"I've only gotten drunk five times, but I drink all the time." I spoke quietly now.

"As scared as you were of becoming your mother," Jasper asked, "And you choose to-"

"She has nothing to do with-"

"That sort of thing is genetic, Leandra." Esme pointed out, and I looked to her, "How easy it is to get used to it is in your blood."

"That explains why I'm so good at it." I mumbled, understanding now.

"And _that_ stops now." She repeated, crossing her arms. I nodded again, almost relieved at that. I hadn't known about it being genetic.

"What else?" Emmett demanded, and I glanced to him next.

"And.. I got a tattoo."

"You did _what_?" Alice was shocked now, stepping forward from behind Jasper, "Seriously? _Tell_ me you're not serious!"

I sighed and brought my shirt up over my back, until my shoulder was visible. Carlisle and Esme stepped around, probably to get a better look at it. Thanking my lucky stars that it was pretty much healed by then. I was thanking my lucky stars that I was a fast healer, and that it didn't take the full two weeks it needed to heal. It still had some time, but the wounds had closed.

"I was smart about it." I offered, hoping that would save my ass, "I didn't just go to any old artist. He had to be clean, and he had to be good at what he does. I didn't want it to be fucked up."

"And he had to have no hesitation about tattooing a thirteen-year-old." Emmett growled, and I flinched a little, letting my shirt down.

"I paid him extra to get over that hesitation." I replied, "I like to get my way."

"That was what the withdrawal was for." Carlisle narrowed his eyes now that he understood. I nodded shamefully.

"You're lucky I don't skin you, little girl." Alice spoke up again, "Do you even realize how _permanent_ that is?"

"I'm painfully aware of that." I mumbled, remembering clearly how painful getting it done actually was.

"It'll disappear when she's turned." Mikah stated matter-of-factly, "It's not _that_ permanent."

"Thank you." Alice snapped his way, "I'm fairly sure I knew that already." It was clear to me that none of them were happy that he was here, but they didn't dare tell him to leave. Given who his boss was.

"A few more things." Mikah said as if she hadn't spoken, looking to me, and I sighed.

"Fantastic." Emmett crossed his arms also, "There's more."

I closed my eyes briefly as I admitted the next bit, "I wasn't entirely truthful about who all was there with us in California."

"Who else was there?" Carlisle asked and I kept my eyes down. I was quiet, biting my lip, "Who else, Leandra?"

"Ken was there." I admitted after a moment, and I winced at the heavy, disappointed sighs around me.

"You're not going to be happy until that bastard kills you, are you?" Emmett asked, and to my surprise, his tone was angry. He was often disappointed in me, but never angry.

"I wouldn't allow that." Mikah offered, "I stopped him before he could."

"You shut up." Emmett barked his way, "Leandra, are you honestly that fucking stupid?" Offended, I stood up and rounded to look at him. He'd never called me that before.

"Fuck you, Emmett." I snapped right back at him, "Fuck you. Don't you-"

"Are you kidding me?" Emmett stepped forward now, "I just don't get it. Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed? Because that's how it looks to me."

"Getting myself killed has nothing to do with my choice not to go running to you for every little fucking thing!" I countered, "If I wanted to kill myself, I would! Because it's my goddamn life."

"_Sit_ back down." Carlisle's tone wasn't one to argue with, so I sat back down, "That's enough of _that_." It was silent for awhile, and I knew Carlisle wasn't happy. He was the farthest from happy he could ever be. He was farthest from happy he'd ever been with me.

"I haven't had sex." I offered, "That has to count for something."

"That you even remember." Emmett growled from the side.

"Thanks." I snapped over at him.

"You wouldn't be wrong about that." Mikah shook his head a little. I closed my eyes in humiliation, waiting for the silence to pass.

"Explain." Carlisle spoke again, and I glanced up, almost relieved that he was looking to Mikah.

"I found her." He said without hesitation, "Four nights ago. The night she and that boy escaped to the party, or whatever it is kids do these days. I didn't want to approach at first, as I wasn't sure if I could leave them alive, but eventually, I did. It appalls me that humans do that to each other, and I really couldn't watch that happen."

"Do what?" Now it was Rosalie's turn to demand answers as she stepped forward around Emmett. Dammit, I knew I was in for it now. Here came the blame.

Mikah didn't understand what had her upset, so he kept talking. Kept explaining as if it were just a minor mystery, "She was very clearly unconscious, so I saw no way possible for her to give consent-"

"Leandra, tell me he's lying." Rosalie was pissed. More pissed than she'd ever been at me, "_Tell_ me that you would call one of us if something like that happened."

"Nothing happened." Mikah assured her, "I got to her before it could, and they all ran away. I may have given one boy a fairly traumatic injury, but I'm not concerned about that. I got her dressed, and I took her back." Mikah commented, "I have many doubts that she would remember anything about it. In her defense."

"Wait." I said, standing and rounding on Mikah, "You were there. Did you see what happened to Josh?"

"Josh?" He asked, frowning.

"The boy I got there with." I said, "Did you see where he went?"

"Don't change the goddamn subject." Rosalie snapped, and we both went quiet, "How did that happen?"

I sighed heavily, looking down. I didn't know what to say.

"I was drunk." I mumbled, shrugging a little. That was the best answer I could give her, so I decided to explain, "What they had there was so much stronger than anything I'd ever had before, and I wasn't used to it."

"And nobody forced you to drink it?" She asked, her arms crossed tightly.

"No." I said, "I just kept drinking it until I couldn't anymore."

"Why would you do that?" She demanded, and I flinched a little, "Do you have any idea what happens to stupid girls like you in situations like that?"

"I know." I said quietly, which was clearly the wrong answer.

"And you did it anyway?"

"I didn't care." I replied, shrugging a little, "I just wanted to-"

"That's _apparent_!" She snapped, shutting me up, "How could you be so damn stupid?"

"I wasn't thinking about that, okay?" I shouted her way, "Not every thought that crosses my mind is about what some guy could do to me! I'm sorry, but I outgrew that! You should try it sometime! Maybe you wouldn't be such a bitch!"

She didn't reply. She stared at me until she finally turned. Leaving the room.

Emmett attempted to stop her, but she yanked her arm from his grip and rounded on him.

"Emmett, if I don't leave, I _will_ wind up hitting her." Rose warned heavily from the stairs, "Just because she is so fucking careless. If you have any concern for her physical well-being whatsoever, I would back off." He did. He just stood there, watching her ascend the stairs.

I sighed, and sat back down. It was quiet for several minutes now, waiting for my temper to ease before the conversation continued.

"First of all," I looked back to Carlisle as he spoke finally, "I'd like to thank you, Mikah. For getting her out of that situation." Mikah only nodded, looking down, "Second. Leandra." I was in for it, "How long has all of this been going on?"

"For about a year." I answered quietly, "Since my twelfth birthday. The weekend I spent at Josh's." He seemed to appreciate that honest and thorough answer, and that's what it was.

"Never." I looked back to Carlisle, "Never again will you ever do any of those things. _All _of it ends _now_. Am I clear?" I nodded sheepishly, "Honestly, Leandra, what would make you think that any of that was a good idea?"

"I just.." I mumbled, shrugging a little, "I don't know."

"You can't keep going like that, Leandra." Jasper wasn't happy either, but his tone wasn't as harsh as Emmett's or Carlisle's, "Slow down." I looked down, knowing what he was getting at, "You have time."

"I don't get what her having time has to do with how stupid she's been." Emmett admitted angrily, coming back to his previous spot, "She's just begging for trouble. Begging for it."

"It's not entirely her fault." Jasper replied, "She's trying to try it all before she can't anymore."

"She's killing herself." Mikah added, shaking his head a little in amusement.

"I told you to shut your mouth." Emmett snapped, his glare on Mikah, "What the fuck are you even doing in here?"

"If it weren't for me, she'd still be running you in circles." He replied easily, "I got the truth from her. I do believe I did you a favor."

"The point is," Jasper continued, interrupting them, "This isn't all her fault, so you can attempt to cool the temper, Emmett. She's just living while she can. That's all this is."

"But all of that?" Emmett asked, obviously desperately trying to understand, "Shorty, you're going to burn yourself out before you go anywhere. You're way too young for shit like that."

"I know that." I murmured, keeping my gaze on my hands.

"Then why?"

"When else am I going to get to?" I asked, finally looking back to him. It was an honest question, my tone of voice calm. No hint of anger or attitude in it.

"You can afford to slow down." Jasper answered, "Just cool it for a day or two." I knew he meant longer than that, but the easy way he said that made me feel a little better.

"The one thing I'm having the most problem with is getting drunk." Emmett's irritation was getting worse, "Are you kidding me, shorty? With your past?"

"I _know_." I sighed, standing. I hated just sitting there getting yelled at. Before I could move, though, Mikah's hand on my shoulder pushed me back down. I looked up at him, about to start yelling, when I followed his slight nod toward Carlisle. Who clearly wasn't done.

He wasn't accepting Jasper's explanation. He was still very upset with me.

"You know better than that." Carlisle murmured quietly, "You're smarter than that." Though his tone was quiet, I knew he was closer to yelling at me than he ever had been before. I didn't bother arguing with him. He was right.

"From now on, you won't leave here without anyone of us." I groaned in disappointment, closing my eyes as I shook my head, "It's very obvious to me that you should never have been trusted. That's it. That was all the trust I can give to you, and that's gone. Until further notice, your freedom is as limited as ours is. Where we can go, is where you can go."

I understood his disappointment, so I stayed quiet, biting my lip.

"You won't be alone for a second. Understand?"

"Perfectly." I mumbled.

"I can't even begin to tell you how ashamed you should be of yourself." Carlisle's words hurt a little, and I kept my eyes down, "As ashamed as I am of you." It was silent now. I didn't bother saying anything in my defense. I didn't have one.

"Do you think it's okay?" He asked, and I stayed quiet, "Do you think it's good for you to act that way? Because I'm trying _so_ hard to understand where you could possibly have gotten that idea."

"No." I mumbled, biting my lip a little.

"Then _why_ did you do those things?" He asked, his tone harsher, "Leandra, I want an answer. If you knew it was bad, if you knew you weren't supposed to, then _why_ did you? It makes absolutely no sense why someone as smart as you are would decide to take that road."

I shrugged slowly, not knowing what to say.

"Did you expect yourself never to be caught?" He demanded, "Look at me." I couldn't. Shame kept my eyes on the floor, "Leandra."

"I'm sorry." I finally muttered, "I'll never do it again."

"You're _damn_ right." Emmett growled, and I glanced to him, "You'll be lucky to leave the house at all."

"No." Carlisle spoke again, "She's not getting out of it that easily." I looked to him finally, surprised, "I've been far too lenient with you, and this is the result. _This_ is the way you repay? Not only have you disrespected yourself greatly, which is a massive shame in itself, but you've disrespected us by the way your behavior reflects on this family. I've never, in all my time knowing you, been so deeply disappointed and ashamed of you."

It would have been easier just to have him yell at me, and that be it. Glancing to Esme beside him, I saw immediately that she felt the same way as he did. She shook her head slightly, slowly.

"I want to know exactly who it was that gave you access to those things, and I want to know _now_." Carlisle spoke again.

"I won't do that." I mumbled instantly, "Because it was my decision, not-"

"Don't give us that." Emmett barked and I closed my eyes.

"I won't rat on them." I said again, forcing myself to stand, "I won't get them into trouble because of my stupidity."

"Think carefully." Carlisle said, and I looked to him, "About your next answer." I waited as he paused. Despite carefully controlling his tone now, it was still harsh, "Did the other parents know about all of this?" He meant Mike and Richard, specifically.

"No." I said immediately, shaking my head, "No, they didn't-"

"She's lying." I turned my head sharply at Edward's voice by the door, "Mike knew all about it. Richard, only minor details."

"That's not fair." I glared his way now.

"What's not fair is how easily you've made it to lie to me." Carlisle said, and that shut me up, "What's not fair, Leandra, is the fact that I just can't believe a word you say to me anymore. What isn't fair is that Edward had to be the one to tell me that my daughter has the remarkable ability to lie straight to my face, without the slightest hint of remorse."

I couldn't hang my head any further after that.

"Drinking, smoking, stealing, drugs, tattoos..?" He trailed off, "Why should I believe you when you tell me that's all?" I was quiet again, reaching up and having to wipe a tear away, "Tell me what I'm supposed to do now, because I'm at a loss. I honestly don't know what punishment would be fitting enough for a pain this bad. I can't trust you anymore, Leandra. Do you know what that does to me?"

I hadn't even imagined this happening while doing those things, to be honest with myself.

"I-I'm sorry." I murmured to the floor, "I never meant to-"

"Yes, you did." He interrupted me, "You're too smart not to have known what these choices would do to the family." The silence in the room was almost deafening. Nobody saying a word, but I knew they agreed. Their mutual disappointment and shame of me hurt me more than I ever thought possible. I had to see.

Glancing to the side, I looked for just one person who was on my side. I didn't find one.

Emmett wouldn't even look at me, his heated glare on the window. Beside him, Alice's contempt was almost as unbearable as Jasper's disappointed gaze. Edward shook his head slowly, answering me silently. Not one person was going to stick up for me this time.

Mikah still stood beside me, his arms held behind his back. His expectant gaze on me making me uncomfortable. As if asking me silently what I was going to do now. The truth was, I hadn't a clue.

I looked to Esme next, and Carlisle last.

"I don't know what to do." Carlisle repeated, "What would be sufficient enough a punishment for this? Would anything I attempt even do any good at this point?"

I couldn't keep the quiet sob back, desperately hoping this wasn't going where I thought it was going.

"Should I even-"

"Carlisle." Edward spoke up, "Don't finish that thought." Taking his advice with a slight nod his way, Carlisle was quiet for the longest two minutes of my life.

"Go to your room." He finally told me, "I'd like a word with Mikah."

I was indescribably relieved to be out from under so many disappointed looks. Turning, I sniffled quietly and scooted from the room. Not quite running, but I sure didn't take my time. I closed my door behind myself quietly, crossing the room quickly to lay face down across my bed. Fighting the emotion.

I _hadn't_ done those things to purposefully hurt the family. That hadn't even crossed my mind. I'd figured if they ever did find out about it, it would be just like before. They'd tell me to knock it off, and not to do it again, and that'd be it. Not this. This hurt. Knowing I let them down so thoroughly bothered me.

I thought Carlisle would tell Mikah to leave, but instead, Mikah came into my room after a little while. No knocking, not even bothering to make sure I was accepting of visitors.

"You should clean this up." He said, looking around.

"Can I help you?" I asked, pushing myself up.

"I'll be here for quite some time, princess." He smirked, "I'm not going anywhere. As Carlisle so accurately put it, it's your fault I'm here, so you're going to deal with me. Every second of every day. Until further notice."

"He gave me a tail?" I whined, lowering back down, and hitting my forehead against the mattress.

"We came to an agreement, yes." He allowed, "At first, my diet was a concern, but I've been around for ninety years. I think I've gotten my self-control mastered enough not to kill you. Besides, I kill you, Aro kills me. Very painfully. So, I have no choice but to keep my teeth to myself. Welcome to the life of twenty-four seven surveillance, you precious little gem."

"I think I preferred being called princess." I grumbled into the mattress.

"Also, be aware," He mumbled, picking up an old picture of me with the three boys, "That I will not be your only tail. From now on, your path is as straight as a nail."

"That could mean it's bent." I pointed out, rolling over, "Not every nail in the world is straight, you know."

"Then I will straighten it." He countered firmly, "I have no doubts that you'll have trouble staying on said straight path, but we'll keep you there."

"What is the big fucking deal?" I finally sat up, "It's not like I'm killing people."

"Aside from yourself?"

"I don't matter." I shook my head, "You tell that bastard that he doesn't own me yet. Let me do what I want, when I want, because it's what I want to do!"

"Wrong." Mikah shook his head in response, "Aro owned you the very moment you made that agreement, Leandra. And I would keep those thoughts to yourself."

"Hey," I mumbled, surprised, "You said my name." He frowned a little in confusion.

"You do have the attention span of a fruit fly." He seemed pleasantly surprised, "Of the discussion, you chose to fixate on that minor detail."

"I don't have the attention span of a fruit fly." I grumbled, "It just surprised me, is all."

"Do you still bite?" Mikah asked curiously. It was my turn to be confused, "Because that would pose a potential problem when I have to move you."

"_Move_ me?" I snorted, "I'm not some piece of furniture."

"You're more like a cat." He nodded, "I suppose you could say."

I glared, climbing off my bed.

"You won't move me." I said, glaring up at him, "My family even rarely does that."

"Try me." He countered. Holding my gaze easily. I eventually had to look away. Struggling to steady my breathing. I hated backing down like that. Especially considering I hadn't in so long.

"Just stay where we can watch you. I promise it won't be all that bad." His tone was highly condescending, and I wanted to hit him. Yet all I could do was glare at the floor.

What was it about him that made me so nervous? Besides the obvious reasons. I couldn't control how I reacted around him. The only thing that made it worse was the fact that he knew it.

"This will be very amusing." He chuckled, turning and leaving the room, "Get some rest, princess."

"I'm not agreeing to this." I finally called after the door closed.

"You have no choice." He called from the hall, "Good night."

I spluttered for a moment, absolutely drowning in irritation. I didn't give up. That was my thing. I was _never_ easy to control. Clenching my teeth, I strode toward the door. If he thought he could order me around, he had another thing coming.

Before I could turn the knob, the door was pushed open, and Mikah poked his head in.

"Going somewhere?" He asked, and I closed my eyes, ensuring I didn't look at him.

"Yes." I said flatly, "Out."

"No you're not." He chuckled, and in my outrage, I looked to him. He really was entertained.

"Yes, I am." I countered, standing firm even as my heartbeat gave me away. He leaned closer, as if studying a fascinating animal.

"My, you are a stubborn little thing, aren't you?" Again with the condescending tone, and this time, I did try to hit him. He only caught my wrist, bringing it down to my side and grinning at me. Despite the fact that his grip didn't hurt, I had absolutely no hope of getting free. He only used human force, which I saw as an opportunity.

I was surprised for a few seconds, until I tried to hit him again. He caught that wrist as well, pulling me closer and pinning my hands behind my back with his own. I now stood there between his arms, looking up at him. Given his expression, he clearly expected that to immobilize me.

Ducking out from under his arm, I turned around. His human grip slipped, and I stepped back into the hall. For once, I saw something other than amusement in his eyes. I'd taken him by surprise.

"I don't need you to guard me." I grumbled, and he smirked yet again, "One thing you should know about me is that I don't listen." I glanced behind me toward the living room. Checking to see if the path to the door was clear.

"That'll change." He told me confidently.

"It's going to take more than making me nervous to get that to change." I replied, "I'm not scared of you."

"That'll change." He repeated, stepping into the hall after me.

"Fuck you, and fuck this whole situation." I told him simply. Turning, I took one step toward the living room. I was suddenly taken by the arms and turned back around. Not quite shoved, but flattened almost gently against the wall with him closer than he'd ever been. His hands pressed to the wall on either side of me, trapping me there.

I was perfectly fine, but I looked up at him in surprise. I'd been so sure he wouldn't get that close.

"Look at you." He said, "Proving how tough you are."

"I'm not scared of you." I replied, glaring the best I could.

"Of course not." He smiled a little, "Not you. Never you." His tone was quiet now, and had dropped the condescending pitch. Only holding a soft murmur now, almost a purr. I felt slightly lightheaded, my heart continuing to pound as he leaned even closer. Our noses now less than an inch apart, "But. I can easily see how very tired you are, princess." His hand came up, softly touching my cheek under my right eye, "How about a compromise?"

"A compromise?" I asked quietly in return, despite how I desperately wanted to keep defying him.

He hummed in confirmation, "All I'm asking you to do is get some sleep. That doesn't seem so bad, now does it?" I swallowed in my nervousness, "Does it?"

"No." I mumbled, and he smiled wider. I attempted to look toward the audience we had in the living room, watching closely, but his hand caught my cheek and turned my head forward again. Looking straight into my eyes. I hadn't even managed to see who all it was watching us. That no longer mattered, however. Gone the moment my eyes met his.

"It's really not so bad." He purred, "Just get some sleep tonight, and we'll revisit this subject in the morning. How about that?" His voice was hard enough to concentrate through, but him being this close to me, I could clearly smell his scent. It was subtle to me, barely perceptible, but it was there, "Hmm?" He stroked my cheek again when I forgot how to breathe, "Can you do that for me?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing what he was doing. I shook my head tightly, and he chuckled.

"Come on." He murmured softly, "I promise we'll talk more tomorrow morning. You really do need to rest." He touched his nose to mine briefly, just light enough for me to feel it, and my breath caught, "Please?"

I opened my eyes, looking into his crimson ones again. There went my stubborn nature.

"Okay." I mumbled a whisper, and he smiled.

"Thank you." He told me kindly, "You won't regret it. Now." I waited on his next word, not daring to breathe, "I just want you to turn around, go right back into your room, and go to sleep. I don't want you to come out until morning. Okay?" His hair lightly fell into his eyes, black as I'd ever seen the color. I'd never seen crimson eyes like his seem so open and friendly. Honest, like he'd never tell me anything but the truth. I believed him.

"Okay." I mumbled again, and very slowly, he stepped back. Pulling his left arm away, keeping my path to the living room blocked. It took me a moment to move, and when I did, I only did as he asked.

"Good night." He called after me, before I could close the door.

"Good night." I returned shakily, closing the door softly behind me. I stood there stunned for a moment, wishing my heart would slow down. This wasn't exactly fear that made it race like this. This was something else.

I was surprised to find I really was as tired as he told me I was. The long drive taking a lot out of me.

So, a funny thing about cigarettes. They're really, _really_ easy to get addicted to, and they're really, _really_ hard to quit suddenly. The more you have on a daily basis, is the amount needed to keep from losing your mind. A week was more than enough time to get me used to having them all the time.

I didn't know that.

Of course, I knew they were addictive. I wasn't stupid, but I didn't exactly know what that meant. By noon the next day, I definitely knew.

Carlisle made sure I was somewhere I could be watched, just to make one hundred percent sure I stayed away from things I wasn't supposed to have. It was more of a peace of mind move, and I deeply disliked him for it.

Laying on my side on the couch, staring at the TV, just the way I always used to do, I tried to ignore the urge to pace. I knew it was about to get a whole lot worse. I'd felt this craving before, so I knew what it was like. Normally, about this point in the craving, I'd go to Josh's house, so I didn't know what would come next.

The first day was almost tolerable. Mild, compared to what came the next day.

Next, came the headache, followed closely by the entire body ache. I felt the craving everywhere now, not just in my mind. Every hour that passed, I'd look to the clock to find that it had actually only been a few minutes. This sucked. So bad.

I was, of course, watched closely the entire time.

About the third time I insisted on going into my room, Carlisle grew suspicious.

"Alice," He called, and I turned over on the couch to watch her descend the stairs, "Please go check her room. Top to bottom for anything she isn't supposed to have." Alice, of course, nodded

"Like that's fair." I mumbled bitterly.

"Anywhere you can think of, check." Carlisle instructed, ignoring my tone, "You know how creative she can be." She nodded again and turned.

When they say the first day without smoking is the hardest, they're lying to you. The first day is almost a relief compared to the second day. The first day, not all the symptoms are there yet. The first day is only where the symptoms show up. The second day, all of the symptoms are there. And you feel every single one of them.

For twelve straight hours, I felt the intense ache, and the withdrawal headache. Even when I tried to sleep, I couldn't sleep. It was way too difficult. I was edgy, cranky, and very restless. It almost physically hurt, being without it, and the tension only increased my headache.

As shitty as this feeling was, I was suddenly very thankful I had never tried anything more addictive. However, as thankful as I was, I would have pounced on a cigarette faster than someone could tell me to stop. I hated it, but I would have. Just to stop the trembling.

The third day of the symptoms began, and I was in tears. I knew this day was going to be a lot longer than the last. I saw no end to it.

It would have been a lot easier, and far more merciful of Carlisle to have given me something to make me sleep through all of this, but Carlisle wanted to make sure I felt it all. Teaching me a lesson, and it was a very learned lesson.

Mikah had also stuck around, watching me with amusement ever present in his eyes.

"This isn't even near as bad as what you'll go through after you're turned." He pointed out, "You know that right?"

"Shut up." I mumbled into the couch cushion.

"Of course, Aro will make sure you don't." He continued, nodding to himself, "But this is how your family feels every second of every day." That surprised me, and I looked up, "The craving for human blood is a thousand times worse than this."

I couldn't even begin to imagine that torture. This was indescribable in itself, but to worsen it by a thousand? I didn't complain after that. Aside from when I could no longer help it, and even then, it was just a whimper here or there. Gritting my teeth, and doing my best to just endure it. I found when I did my very best not to focus on it, keeping busy doing other things, I could almost deal with it.

It took almost a week to feel almost normal again. That, however, wasn't the last of my problems. I still had so much to worry about. Most importantly, wondering why Josh hadn't been found yet. That bothered me so much. Not having heard a word from Mike about him, I really tried to think. Where could he be?

**A/N: Filler for your thoughts. By thoughts, of course, I mean reviews lol  
Long A/N short: THANK YOU to my reviewers!  
As always, I'm on FB (Kneu Neu) and if you want updated between each chapter, look me up. ****I don't stalk. I only update, and look forward to chats with my readers. :)  
Anyhoo.. Busy afternoon/evening ahead of me, so until next chapter, guys.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

The worry increased again, and a different type of restlessness began. I hadn't been outside in a week. That was hard on me, considering I had just gone from a week straight of being able to go outside whenever I wanted, and just endured withdrawing from nicotine the hard way. I was under so much stress, and the constant surveillance was getting to me.

I couldn't sneeze without at least three pairs of eyes on me.

Since I'd admitted everything, I couldn't count the number of silent treatments I'd gotten. Alice found, among everything else, the tattoo unforgivable. She muttered to herself often about how limited my fashion options were now. Until I was turned, of course.

The one still pissed at me specifically was Rosalie. She couldn't stand how stupid I was, and how careless I'd been. I hadn't tried to talk to her yet, though. I was still pretty dazed from my almost-week-straight of suffering, and didn't really want to attempt to talk to her. I knew that wouldn't end well for anyone. Probably least of all, me.

I knew, of course, that I wasn't cared about any less, but the disappointment was very heavy. I could sense it myself, and nobody needed to say anything. I hadn't noticed it the first few days after being home, but I sure did now.

Mikah was one manipulative son-of-a-bitch. He always got his way, no matter what it was. By using those eyes, and that tone of voice, he could get me to do just about anything he wanted. He never overstepped, and it was always something for my benefit, but I still hated him for it. I hated him for it, because I knew all too well how well that worked. Having used that technique several times myself.

He was better at it.

His eyes never left me, and the way he kept watching me made me very uncomfortable. The way he watched me was a little hard to describe to myself at first. I eventually settled on a mix of two things.

The way he watched me reminded me of someone intensely fascinated in some animal in a cage, as if waiting for it to do something amazing, and someone watching me as if expecting to have to yank me out of the way of some certain death. Aro obviously chose well when considering someone to watch me. Mikah really took his job seriously.

The only alone time I got was when I slept, took a shower or did anything in the bathroom, or changed clothes. And even then, I wasn't really alone. I knew someone, mainly Mikah was listening for any hint I was about to die or be mortally wounded.

Going from about one-hundred-percent free, to under constant house arrest basically overnight really rubbed me the wrong way.

There was sort of a hesitant truce standing between my family and Mikah. They had no choice but to allow him to stay, but I had a feeling it wasn't only that keeping him here. I couldn't tell yet, though. I usually chose to avoid watching him, hoping that would keep him from watching me so closely. A moot hope, but hope nonetheless.

I'd only been home for little over a week, but I was surviving on my last nerve. Clinging to that last little nerve like my life depended on it. Constantly seconds away from exploding.

But I knew better than to complain. I'd brought it on myself.

"Okay." I finally said one day, the irritation clear in my voice, "This is getting old. Either take a picture, or blink!" I looked up at Mikah standing beside the couch, "Or I swear, I'm taking a swan dive off the roof."

"I wish you good luck with that." Mikah smirked in reply, "I'm learning a lot about your kind."

"My kind hates being stared at constantly." I barked, "It's very, _very_ disturbing, and it _really_ makes us uncomfortable."

"I'm beginning to see that." He frowned a little.

"Shorty's got a point." Emmett murmured from the other end of the couch, "At least sit."

"Sit?" Mikah asked.

"Sit down." Emmett clarified, "In the chair, on the floor, wherever."

"Why would I want to sit?"

"Because it makes her nervous." He explained, "Even if she doesn't know it, that's what's bothering her. If you'd sit, she wouldn't care as much about you staring at her."

"That's true." I mumbled, looking to Emmett, "He hasn't sat down since he got here. I've never seen him sit."

A couple of seconds of hesitation passed before he stiffly moved to a chair, and lowered slowly to sit. After a minute or two of him sitting there, I realized that Emmett had been right. I didn't care quite as much, and it eased me a little.

"I feel ridiculous." Mikah muttered finally, and I found myself a little pleased that he felt uncomfortable.

"It's more for her benefit than yours." Emmett muttered.

"We'll tame him yet." I muttered and Emmett snorted.

"I heard that." Mikah pointed out, not so pleased anymore.

"I'm perfectly aware of that." I replied, "It's entertaining to poke fun. Now I see why you do it to me all the time."

Emmett shook his head, standing.

After the little light joking, my mood dropped yet again that same afternoon. I wanted so bad to leave the house and just go do something, but I couldn't. Not with half of the family gone hunting, and the nearly sunny day keeping the rest in the house.

I was as limited as they were.

"Would you light somewhere?" Jasper asked, irritated by my irritation. 'Light somewhere' meant to stop pacing. Sit still. He very rarely used that term, but today definitely called for it.

"No." I replied flatly, "If you're going to keep me here, I'm going to bug the living hell out of you. That's how it works."

I jumped, yet again, at Mikah suddenly there. Flattening me against the window, much like he had against the wall the first day. That was something he knew worked, but he also knew I hated it. He only had a chance to lean forward, and I got moving.

"Oh hell no." I whined, ducking out from under his arm, and running off toward my room. Listening to his chuckle behind me. He let me leave, knowing exactly why I ran. I couldn't resist doing as he suggested when I was like that. Also, by making me run, he was helping lessen the annoyance of the family. Which I was sure gained him points.

I was in my room for hours. Until Esme called me for dinner.

"Silent protest." I replied, not even bothering to lay my book to the side, "I'm not very hungry."

"Come eat, princess."

"Fuck you, Mikah." I called back.

"You're very free with that word, aren't you?" I didn't bother looking up as he walked in, "Are you even aware of what that means?"

"More than you know." I muttered, turning the page, "One of these days, I'll teach you to knock before entering my room. I'll lay here completely naked, and you'll think twice about just walking in."

"That wouldn't bother me in the least." He said, "I'm very good at turning a blind eye. Back onto the subject, you believe that understanding a word's meaning, however vulger, entitles you to shout it at anyone who crosses you in whatever way?" He asked, standing beside the bed.

"I do." I muttered. I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head as I realized I'd read the same line three times. Looking up at him, I sighed, "You're very distracting."

He smirked, "I'm perfectly aware of that."

"Please just leave me alone." I sighed, finally laying my book to the side.

"It seems to me like you're blaming me for being such a distraction, when you're merely distracting yourself."

"Get out." I muttered, laying to the side with a sigh.

"Unacceptable." I was suddenly lifted, and I squealed in protest as Mikah threw me over his shoulder as if I weighed three pounds. I was shouting every curse word I could think of as he left the room. Human paced, probably just to draw this out. I was pissed, but he was very amused. It seemed as if everything I did these days amused or entertained him.

He sat me down on a bar stool at the counter in the kitchen, and I immediately spun, trying to hop off and start swinging, but I nearly hit the floor as I stumbled. He caught me, obviously very entertained. I hit at his hands, managing to stagger to my feet and listening to his chuckle.

"I had no idea your vocabulary was so colorful." Esme murmured, "I'm surprised at you, Leandra."

"I suppose I deserved it." Mikah chuckled, capturing my hitting hands easily, "She was given no warning."

"If I wanted to eat," I snapped, tugging at my wrists, "I would have come out here on my own, you son-of-a-bitch!"

"Temper, temper." He scolded lightly, smirking, "Breathe, human. It's essential."

"Fuck you!" I barked back at him, "I'll breathe when I damn well fucking please, thank you very goddamn much!"

"What'd you do to her?" Emmett was suddenly there, "It's been awhile since she's been this pissed off."

"I picked her up." Mikah chuckled, "I must do this more often."

"You know what, you can just go fu-" Spinning me around quickly to stand with my back against him, his hand covered my mouth, which only pissed me off even more. I shouted louder behind his hand, struggling like a trapped animal.

"So." Mikah looked to Esme conversationally, ignoring my thrashing and holding me easily, "I've been thinking."

"What about?" She asked in return, looking from me to him.

"I do believe it's just a little cruel," He murmured, "To keep her here non-stop. I mean, even house pets get walked now and then, don't they?" I only shouted louder, more curse words muffled by his hand.

"You know as well as I do she'll only find some way to get herself into trouble." Esme reasoned with a sigh, "I hate keeping her here also, but I'm hesitant to let her out again."

"She's been doing so well, though." Mikah smirked down at me.

"That's because she's been detoxing." Emmett grumbled bitterly. My next round of curses were directed at him. He seemed to find that entertaining as well. His bitter mood lightened just a little, and he smirked, "Okay, I approve." He pointed to me and I glared heatedly at him. Growling a little in my frustrated groan. Emmett found that especially amusing.

Mikah wasn't hurting me, which was the only reason behind him being able to continue holding me. He was just keeping me from shouting very offensive things, and perhaps getting myself into more trouble.

"So I was thinking." Mikah continued, "Perhaps she's earned a short walk of her own. She stays out of town, but she can wander. Supervised, of course. We wouldn't want her to find something she shouldn't, would we?" His tone was condescending again, and I thrashed again. Elbowing back at him, kicking and twisting. Until I wore myself out, standing there panting through my nose.

I didn't care about wandering anymore. It was people I wanted to see. More specifically, people with stuff I wanted. I stood there as he and Esme discussed my possible "walk", trying to catch my breath as I thought of a way I could possibly get away. It was incredibly stupid, but I had to try.

He was swaying the family to let me out with him watching me. Maybe they'd be lenient enough to let only him tail me. It was his job, after all.

Pieces of my impulsive plan fell into place. It was perfect.

They agreed that I wouldn't go far enough to warrant the need for a full group to follow. Mikah was the one to trail after me. I wasn't allowed into town, but I'd go there anyway. If this worked, I'd be free to run off as I pleased until someone with more tolerance could find me and wrangle me.

So I wandered. More like headed straight for a place I wanted to be. I was more nervous each step I took, but I knew exactly what I was going to do. He wouldn't want to come anywhere near humans, unless he wanted to cover the color of his eyes, so I knew he wouldn't follow. It was still daylight, and they would see that right away. During the night, there was a chance they could overlook the crimson of his eyes. The clouds worked in his favor, but his appearance didn't.

I got to the edge of town before he was suddenly beside me.

"That's far enough, princess." He took my arm in his hand, pulling me to a stop. I braced myself and took a breath. Hoping he did what he usually did if I resisted enough. And he did.

Don't do it, I told myself. This is stupid. So stupid. Don't do it.

Flattening me back against a tree, holding each side of it in his hands, he leaned closer. Just like he always did. Our noses, yet again, less than an inch apart. This bordered the insanity of what I'd done to Jasper that day, only it was so much worse, because who knew the limits of Mikah's self control? I hoped he knew his own limits.

He was talking to me, but I waited until his mouth was closed before I did it. Leaning in quickly, I pressed my lips firmly to his.

The smooth stone under my lips felt so different, but I liked it enough to lose my breath.

He froze, and I was there for only a split second, long enough to feel him stiffen before he was suddenly gone with a loud growl. It took me a second to regain my senses, and I hadn't even realized how I sat on the ground now, having slid to a sitting position against the tree. Seconds away from passing out, given my pounding heart, and breathing quick and shallow.

With my experience kissing Josh, I had thought there for one stupid second that kissing Mikah would have been just as easy. I had never expected a reaction that strong in myself. I honestly felt like crying, which was so very strange to me.

The first part of my plan had worked. It got him to run, but I was stuck. Almost paralyzed there on the ground. My legs wouldn't hold me, and the stupidest smile formed on my face.

A confusing mix of adrenaline, and almost fear, along with a ton of other things went through me that I had no name for. It gave me the biggest rush I'd ever had. Better than any drug I'd used to get high, or better than anything I'd ever had to drink. Better than running off unnoticed, or getting a tattoo.

There was absolutely nothing better. Nothing that could even compare.

"Holy shit." I managed to mutter to myself, unable to keep the smile from my face.

"Are you insane?" Mikah came back from where he'd run, "Do you even realize how close you came to losing your life just now?" I could just nod, "Yet, you're smiling?" His irritation had quickly faded, and his voice had softened. He truly couldn't understand.

He stood there, waiting for me to regain my ability to stand, before he sighed.

"Are you ready to go back?" He asked and I nodded. This time, he walked with me back toward the house, "You understand I will have to tell the others about this, right?" I nodded again. I fully expected that, but he had to have expected this to happen. He had to know that I would try that some day soon. However, his surprise told me he hadn't.

I went inside the house willingly, and immediately had to sit again.

"What's wrong with her?" Emmett asked from beside me, "She's pretty pale."

"I'm confident she'll be alright in a moment." Mikah muttered, the hint of confusion still hidden in his tone, "I would prefer Carlisle to be here as well." He looked toward the stairs, hearing something I didn't.

Seconds later, Carlisle was checking my pulse. Obviously worried about my weakened state.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked, looking to Mikah.

"She.. She kissed me." Mikah managed to say, his tone completely shocked, before Emmett started to laugh, "I don't find this funny."

"That explains the stupid smile on her face." Emmett chuckled, "Come on, shorty. Snap out of it."

"I don't understand." Mikah was very confused at this point, and quickly getting irritated. Carlisle sighed, shaking his head.

"She has a thing for adrenaline." Emmett explained, "I thought you knew that."

"No." Mikah replied, "I didn't."

"At least this tests the theory." Carlisle murmured, standing.

"Bella says there's nothing like kissing a vampire." Emmett stood as well, "For Leandra, it was probably knowing you could kill her at any second."

"I see." Mikah muttered, frowning, "She needs to refrain from doing that."

"I agree." Carlisle replied, "Leandra, that was very dangerous."

"She knows." Emmett nodded a little, his laughter finally coming to a chuckling end, "That's why she did it. Shorty, you can't do that to someone like him. Play chicken with a car, but don't kiss a vampire."

"I knew what he would do." I admitted, finally regaining my ability to speak, "That's why I did it. I didn't know what it'd be like, though."

"Backfired, didn't it?" Emmett smirked down at me, and I had to nod. It really did.

"I have to hand it to her." Mikah muttered, "That would have worked had she not been so.. Immobilized."

"That's because it's worked before." Carlisle replied, shaking his head in disappointment.

"That's right." Emmett understood now, "She did something like that to Jasper. The hand thing." Now, he wasn't so entertained, "Didn't you promise never to do that again?" He already knew the answer to that. He was just asking me to see what I said.

"Yes." I replied, "But I didn't do the same thing. I only promised never to do _that_ specifically again."

I honestly did not see Emmett's smack upside my head coming. It was just a little one, one that only clearly stated not to be so stupid, but the activity that followed was what made my head spin.

"Ow." I mumbled, rubbing my head.

"Emmett." Carlisle corrected him sharply, but before that word could even fully leave his mouth, Mikah had Emmett against the wall to my right with a loud, almost earsplitting growl.

"Holy shit." I muttered, standing. Carlisle firmly placed me back on the couch before moving over to try to pry the two struggling apart. Mikah was almost stronger than Emmett, but not by much. Once Emmett got over his shock, that's when the struggles really started.

Emmett overpowered Mikah almost easily after that, landing a pretty hefty punch to his face. Knocking him back a few steps, and following. Just as Emmett went to hit him again, Mikah ducked around him, shoving him across the room, and racing after him before he could even stop stumbling.

Mikah grabbed hold of Emmett's shirt, and shoved him violently back against the wall in a deafening thud that made the wall almost useless anymore.

"Knock it off! Guys!" I called, crawling swiftly to the other end of the couch, getting closer just as the room became more populated. Jasper took hold of Emmett's left arm, Rosalie his right. Carlisle pulled Mikah away, and his hand on his chest was enough to keep him back.

It was suddenly under control now, but I still found I panicked. Looking between the two of them wide eyed with Esme standing behind me. Everything had happened so very quick, it was hard to believe it was still so soon.

"You don't hit her." Mikah's voice was something I'd never heard, "You hear me?" The growling timbre in his words speared me to the couch, and I shrunk a little.

"I'll correct her any way I want to." Emmett was anything but calm, even as they let him go, "You have no say in the matter!"

"Try me." Mikah warned through clenched teeth, "I dare you."

"What is going on here?" Esme demanded, obviously upset at them. I had a feeling it was more than just the poor wall that upset her.

"Emmett hit me," I answered almost numbly. It was a little hard to believe the words myself, but they were true, "So Mikah shoved him. It sort of exploded from there."

"Time and place." Emmett challenged Mikah right back, "But remember I warned you."

"He hit you?" Esme asked, shocked. I couldn't answer her right then.

"Stop it." I called, climbing off the couch, "Mikah, cool it. I'm fine." I scooted over, stood beside Carlisle now, between Emmett and Mikah. Looking back and forth between them.

"That isn't the point." Mikah replied, not taking his eyes off Emmett, "At this point, I'm wondering if it's even safe enough for you here anymore."

"Emmett, apologize." Carlisle was firm, his eyes on Emmett, "Now."

"Safe enough?" Emmett snorted, "You're kidding me, right?"

"No," Mikah said, "I'm not. I do have the authority to remove her from any situation I find detrimental to her well-being."

Emmett scoffed, "The agreement-"

"The agreement." Mikah interrupted, "The agreement made a year and a half ago between Aro and Leandra was that she may remain here as long as she was safe. If she stayed here long enough, then he'd return for her in five years. Aro wouldn't risk removing her before those five years were complete unless it was absolutely necessary, as you all have the self-control it took to safely keep a human. What I'm seeing now, however, isn't safety."

Emmett growled, taking a step his way but Mikah kept speaking, "I've witnessed her degraded, put down, and blamed for things that, as far as I'm aware, normal teenagers get into. I've seen her forced to remain here, jeopardizing her happiness, and her safety considering how few times I've seen you all hunt. I've seen her anger, which tells me she isn't happy here, and when she cleverly attempts an escape, she was struck. What should I get from that?"

"Mikah, I'm fine." I tried, "It's okay. Emmett didn't hurt-"

"The point is," Mikah stepped slowly around Carlisle, ignoring me as he slowly moved me behind him, "The agreement made was that she may stay, as long as it was safe for her. It's my call whether or not it's safe, and I think I've seen enough. She's my responsibility. Aro is trusting me to make the call that will keep her safe."

"She's perfectly fine." Emmett growled, "I didn't seriously hurt her. I would never do that."

"What happens the next time she makes a mistake?" Mikah asked pointedly, "What happens if she makes a worse mistake? Is there a worse punishment involved?"

"I deserved it." I spoke up, moving to his side to stop him from moving forward, "Mikah, I'm really fine. He wouldn't hurt me."

"The bottom line is I don't see her safe here anymore." Mikah shook his head, "I'm not waiting for the possibilities of next time."

"Wait." I said, "No. Hold on a minute-"

"She'll be removed before the week's end." I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach at Mikah's statement. It was already Wednesday. Before the week's end would give me, at most, four days.

Watching him turn swiftly, I gasped as he headed for the door.

"Wait." I called again, jogging over. His pace was slow enough that I managed to make it between him and the door, looking up at him, "Whoa, whoa. Wait. Mikah, wait. Please."

It bears repeating. I was never one to cry to get out of being in trouble, but now was as good a time as any to start. He went to step by me, and I did the only thing I could think of. I hugged him. As tightly as I could.

"It was my fault." I forced tears out. It was harder to do than I thought, and I looked behind Mikah, passed his arm the best I could toward Jasper. without seeming conspicuous. I needed Jasper's help if I was going to pull this off.

He was confused at first, but thankfully, Jasper caught on. Giving me an emotional shove in the right direction, my heart broke painfully, and my tears poured faster. Coating my cheeks in record time, "Emmett would _never_ hurt me. He was just playing around. I promise."

"What I saw didn't seem like playing." His tone was easier, and I knew I was on the right track. His arms didn't return the embrace, though, but I knew that was just the type of person he was. That, and given what I'd done just a little bit before probably made it difficult for him to be close to me.

"You don't know him like I do." I cried, "One more chance. Please, Mikah." I looked up at him, "If he'd _really_ meant to hurt me, I'd be through a wall."

"This is true." Mikah muttered, glancing back at Emmett. I did as well.

"I can't leave yet." I whimpered, looking back up at him, "It's too soon. I'm not ready to leave yet." He sighed, meeting my eyes.

"Staying is crucial to your happiness?" He asked hesitantly.

"Very crucial." I sniffled, "I don't care about having to stay home. It means I'm safe. And besides.." I paused, "I-If you take me now, the entire future changes. Aro won't be happy with you about that." Emmett grinned. Mikah was silent for a moment, and I could see the moment he'd decided.

"Alright." He said, "You may stay, but if I see another incident like that-"

"You won't." I hugged him tighter, "Thank you. Thank you, thank you." I heard Carlisle's sigh of relief, as he was closest, but I knew the others did as well. I jumped a little as Mikah finally stepped around me. Turning, I looked back at him.

"Final warning." He muttered, leaving the house. I was in Esme's arms the second the door closed behind him, and I sniffled, returning her hug.

"That was too close." I sighed, wiping tears from my cheeks, "Thank you, Jasper." All at once, the heartbreaking emotion he'd given me was gone.

"Any time." He replied, giving me a nod.

"Nice manipulation, shorty." Emmett muttered, and I smiled a little.

"Most guys," I said, stepping away from Esme enough to sit, "Are suckers for tears. I first noticed it with Josh and his friends. That's.. How I got most of what I got. So it wasn't their fault. Well, not entirely." I shrugged a little, "Normally, it didn't take actually crying, though. One look, and a smile, and that's all it took. This was a little harder."

"You've got that down pat." Rose pointed out, surprised.

"I don't even try with you all, though." I smiled a little, the relief immense, "You know me too well. To be honest, I've never cried to get out of trouble before now. At least, not any time recently. I've only cried to get into trouble. There's a difference."

"And they'd just give you whatever you wanted?" Jasper asked, curious now. Seeing the opportunity to get me to cooperate.

"It took a bit of work with Josh. In the beginning." I mumbled, shrugging a little. I hated admitting this, but I wanted to be truthful. After coming so close to having to leave them behind, I wanted them to know everything again. I sighed, and continued.

"He didn't like the things I wanted to do." I said, "Until his friends gave in pretty easily. Then he was just along for the ride." I smirked, but that faded quickly and I looked down.

My attention was taken by Rose turning to leave.

Since the fight the day I got home, she'd been the most distant. Never staying in the same room with me longer than necessary. She knew what I'd done was so incredibly stupid, and to her, I didn't even know it. I knew her reasons like they were my own.

"Rose, wait." I mumbled as I stood quickly, and to my surprise, she did, "I-I'm sorry. For what I did."

"No." She said flatly, "You aren't." I was thankful she wasn't yelling at me, "Not yet, you aren't. I don't understand you, Leandra. I've tried to. I really have, but it doesn't make any sense to me why you, of all people, would be so very careless."

"I don't know what I was thinking that night." I admitted, "It's true, though, what I said. I don't spend my life wondering what could happen anymore. I make it a point not to."

"Leandra, something you don't realize, is that you're beautiful. You're pretty, and you're smart, and people notice that." She stressed, "I can see why you'd be curious about alcohol, given the fact that you grew up around it. I can understand that part, but something you need to learn, is that not everyone means well. Most people, most human males, will take advantage as soon as the opportunity arises. You have to be careful, and you can't be careful when you purposefully make yourself vulnerable like that. I know you know that, and I know you're not stupid, so why act the part?"

"I really didn't mean to." I looked down, "I thought I could handle it."

"I know it doesn't seem like this to you, but you're still just a kid. You have a lot of growing up to do." She sighed, shaking her head, "Leandra, you still have a lot of maturing left to do, and you're trying to do it all overnight." I didn't know what to say, so I let her continue, "Stop it."

"Rosalie, I don't know how to just be a kid. I've never just been a kid." I shook my head a little, leaning on the armrest of the couch, "I grew up at three years old. I know to you it seems like I'm just a kid, but I'm not."

"There's more to being an adult than just getting your way all the time."

"I know that." I said, "I know. I figure I have plenty of time ahead of me to be responsible." I paused, thinking hard about how to continue. She was listening. They all were, so I had to do this right, "I want to make mistakes. I want to mess up, and I want to learn what not to do. I want to do more than just mess up. I want to do stuff. I want to do everything."

I wasn't sure how to explain it, "You don't know the kind of life I'm headed for when I'm sixteen. I know more about Aro than you think I do. When I go with him, that's it. There's no way he's going to let me out of his sight."

"But you're going about it all wrong." I sighed a little, looking to Esme and Carlisle together by the couch now.

"I don't know how else to go about it." I said, "I want to learn the right and wrong ways to live. I want to just.. I don't know. I want to just.. Do things my way. I _know_ everything I did was wrong, but that was the _point_." I sighed, falling backwards onto my back on the couch, "I know it was wrong, but that was why I did it. Once Aro has me, I'm never going to get away on my own. I'm never going to get the chance to do things, right or wrong, without him and at least five of the guard right beside me. It's not _fair_!"

My stress was really becoming apparent.

I groaned, covering my eyes with the heels of my palms, "I'll be his most protected possession. Smothered, kept secret. Overprotected. Never leaving his sight. Can you imagine that?" Nobody said anything, "Can you imagine spending your entire existence standing where he can see you? Can you imagine living with everything short of a leash around my neck? I can. I've lived it already. The suffocating observation. The intense pressure to do nothing but make him happy. The squeezing obligation to him. I hate it already, but there's _no _way to get out of it. I agreed to that life, because I figured I'd have five years to fuck up. I wanted to fuck up while I can, because I know that I'm damned regardless and I'm running out of _time_."

"This isn't fair." I opened my eyes, looking back toward the door at Mikah's voice, "This bothers me." His frown caught my attention. I sat up slowly, watching him as I realized that I strongly preferred his smirk, or his amusement over his unhappiness. I hated his unhappiness. I'd never felt exactly this way before.

I cared about my friends, and their unhappiness. I cared if they were upset, but Mikah's unhappiness made me unhappy. I couldn't hold his gaze anymore, and I looked down.

"This isn't right." He said quietly, seeming confused. Unhappy with what I'd admitted, having heard it all for the first time. He obviously didn't fully know before what I was headed for, and now that he knew, he didn't approve.

I could tell, by looking up at him now, that his protection wasn't only orchestrated by Aro anymore. He was here on his own time. By his own choice, he chose to stay around. That confused me a little, but it also explained the tension earlier. Why he would overreact so harshly to something as tiny as the smack I'd received.

Again, I knew his reasons like they were my own. He cared about me.

Nobody said a word until Mikah turned, leaving yet again. He was still upset. We all knew he'd be back.

"I'm pretty tired." I sighed, standing, "Is there anything else you want to know?" I also had a _lot_ to think about.

"Not right now, sweety." Esme replied, giving me a sad smile, "Go ahead." I nodded, and turned. Heading for the hallway, until I paused. Looking to Rosalie again.

"I really am sorry." I said, "I know I was stupid."

"Just cool it." She said, rolling her eyes a little, "Wise up, or you'll wish you had. Next time, you might not be so lucky. Next time, it could be you we never see again, instead of Josh."

"I blame myself for what happened." I wasn't so sure if I wanted to go into my room anymore, "I just wish there was a reason I couldn't see him."

"There is. I don't know what to tell you there." Jasper murmured gently, "Except that I'm sorry."

"Wait.." I looked over, "Why?" He sighed, looking to Esme first, and Carlisle next. I followed his gaze, curious. Only half surprised that Alice was back so soon, stepping into the room with Bella in tow. When had she shown up? It must have been a quicker hunting trip than I thought. That, or she'd seen Mikah and Emmett's scuffle.

"Think, Leandra." He replied finally, looking back to me, "I know you haven't thought since it happened. Not really. You've only been looking for ways he could still be alive. Holding onto hope that he'd be found." I realized that he was right. I really hadn't.

There _was_ a reason I couldn't see him. There was a reason Alice couldn't see him. His future was gone, which could only mean one thing.

How had I not seen it before?

"W-Wait." I mumbled, shaking my head, "No. It.. That can't be the reason. He was just fine when he walked away from me that night."

"That you remember." Emmett reminded me, and I looked to him, "A lot can happen in such a short amount of time, shorty. You'd be surprised."

"But.." I stuttered for a moment, shaking my head, "But.. No. That.." I shook my head again, but I knew he was right, "That can't happen. It can't. Not to him. Not.." I trailed off again, "No. Bella's future was different. Mine disappeared, but I'm still here. Maybe it could mean something like that. You never know."

"That's highly unlikely." Jasper replied, "Leandra, I'm sorry."

"There has to be a chance." I shook my head once more, "A small reason to hope? Anything?" He only sighed, obviously unwilling to even humor me anymore. None of them were. I was numb, thankfully, Jasper catching it before the emotion could overwhelm me.

As soon as I willingly faced the fact that he was right, I lost my breath for a moment. I hadn't let myself even consider what the facts were telling me. Now I knew why. It was something so impossible, so inconceivable that I refused to see it.

"I'm so sorry, honey." Esme offered, which really didn't help.

"I never would have gone if I'd known." I mumbled, shocked, "Why wouldn't I turn around? I knew we shouldn't go. I knew it. We should have stayed. Mikah even told us.. He tried to tell us.."

"You're free to choose what you do." Jasper murmured, "But you're never free of the consequences of those choices, Leandra." That didn't help me either. I was quiet for a second longer, before choosing to leave. Turning without another word, I closed my bedroom door quietly behind myself.

I cried well that night, listening to the rain outside my open window. Jasper thankfully gave me a chance to grieve once I was alone. That was something he wouldn't mess with, knowing it needed to happen.

How was I going to tell Mike? How was I supposed to say anything, knowing his son wasn't coming back? And what about Zack? That thought alone only made it hurt worse. And Ken? He was so convinced all along that it was my fault. What would he do when he found out it actually was?

I was having such a hard time with this. As much as I missed Josh before, now it hurt so much worse because I knew I'd never find him. I really should have known something was wrong, as he'd promised me he wouldn't leave me alone with Ken.

I walked out in the morning, having slept thankfully dreamlessly. Mikah and Carlisle looked my way from where they sat talking. I could tell that the conversation had been intense until I showed up, but I hadn't a clue about what it was. That didn't matter to me, however.

"I have to see Zack." I mumbled, "Can I?"

Carlisle sighed, standing, "I really don't know-"

"You can have him come here. I just want to see him." I wasn't trying to manipulate, but my tears spoke for themselves, "Please? I have to figure out a way to tell him."

As it turned out, Andrew was with Zack as they climbed out of the car, and to my immense surprise, Ken was the one to drop both of them off. I hadn't expected to see him, not for quite some time.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I demanded, "Shouldn't you still be in California?"

"Your parents." He grumbled, climbing out of the car, "Where are they?"

"I'll get them." I answered sharply, "You stay your ass out here."

I turned, gesturing the two boys to follow me as I jogged up the steps. Carlisle met me just inside the door and I looked back at Ken, watching him slowly stepping around the front of his car.

"That's him." I muttered, looking up at Carlisle, "That's Ken. He says he wants to talk to you." Carlisle nodded, moving me further inside as he stepped around me. Meaning, stay inside.

"I kept him away as long as I could." Zack offered, "I know how much you two hate each other, but.." I didn't like the look in his eyes.

"But..?" I prompted, glancing out the window.

"I wanted to tell you, but I.." He trailed off, "I knew how hard of a time you were having already-"

"Tell me." I demanded, "What happened?" I knew, however, that I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I knew it would only be bad news.

"They found some fabric." Zack admitted quietly, looking down, "From the sleeve of his shirt. On the rocks, behind where the fire was." He paused, and I had to sit down, "The day after we left, they found it, but they couldn't really tell it was his at first. There was too much blood on it. Some on the rocks around it, but most had been washed away by the rain that came through that night." That upset me. Andrew took a seat on the bench beside the door with me, and I had to cry. I leaned against him, comforted by the way he put his arm around me.

"I kept grandpa away as long as I could, but he insisted on being the one to come here today." Zack continued, "You were the last person to see him alive. He's so sure you did something to him, and he wants answers. Since he hasn't run into you yet, he chose to demand them today." He nodded once toward the window and I looked back, through my tears to see them headed this way.

Carlisle didn't look happy, but he obviously had a reason for leading him toward the house. That didn't help any, though. I stood up quickly, shaking my head.

"I can't give him any answers." I sniffled roughly, "I don't know what else to say."

I turned once they started up the steps to the porch, and headed straight into the living room. Zack and Andrew following me easily. I didn't want him here. I had the biggest problem with Jack being in the house, and Ken came closer to killing me than Jack did. I took comfort, however little comfort it was, that my family was here this time. They wouldn't let anything happen to me. I knew that for a fact.

Esme, Emmett and Jasper were all in the middle of talking when I came in, choosing to dive into the small free spot between Emmett and Jasper. I hadn't done that in so long, so it was understandable that they were surprised. I couldn't help noticing how often I interrupted discussions that day. I didn't care right then.

I listened to the front door close, closed my eyes, and cried. I couldn't give him any more answers than I'd already given him. I literally couldn't. I didn't remember anything else.

"Who's here, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I didn't bother answering. Protectively, he put his arm around me, looking toward the door. None of them had ever met Ken before, so I knew they wouldn't recognize his scent.

"Out with it." I flinched against Emmett's side at Ken's voice, and I felt Jasper stand, "There's more you're not telling me-"

"No, there's not." I cried, my heavy voice quiet for once, "I swear. I told you-"

"Just tell the truth for once in your _miserable_ life." Ken growled, "The _truth_."

"Carlisle." Jasper was edgy, questioning why Carlisle would bring him here. I was wondering the same thing. Why would he bring Ken here, only to let him speak to me this way?

"He brought up an interesting point." Was Carlisle's response, "Leandra, what happened the night you discovered Josh missing?"

"What?" I sniffled, looking up at him. Trying to hard to ignore Ken beside him. His question had honestly confused me. I was already trying to think when he continued.

"You two," Carlisle gestured between Ken and I, "Were talking on the porch. Out back."

"Mikah." I muttered without thinking, "He was there."

"Who the fuck was that?" Ken demanded, "I've never seen him before, and he seemed to know you pretty well. That boy would explain how you got back without Josh."

"His name is Mikah, and he has nothing to do with-"

"Doesn't he?" Ken demanded again, "He was awfully protective of you, you lying little-"

"Watch it." Jasper barked, "Finish that thought, and we'll have a problem." My anger spiked, and I stood.

"Well, look at what you were doing to me." I barked through tears, "He's only protective of me when he has to be, and he definitely had to be that night." That seemed to throw him off, and he clearly didn't know how to respond as he glanced to Carlisle, so I continued, "Mikah would have no reason to hurt Josh. None whatsoever."

That was a lie, however. I tried to hide my shock at that realization. I didn't want to give Ken any hints that he was right. Which he was. In all of the activity in the last week or so, I'd forgotten one crucial detail that would explain every single bit of what happened that night.

"Listen, you." He pointed to me, "This is my _family_. And so far, you're caught red-handed in two of their-"

"I had nothing to do with Jack's death!" I shouted, "That was his own stupid fault! I swear to God, you accuse me of being behind Josh's too, I will stab you as hard as I fucking can!"

"You don't threaten me, little girl." Ken replied, "I wouldn't be surprised if you were at fault for Josh." I took a step forward, caught by Jasper. Esme stood as well, slowly moving to the empty space between Ken and I.

"I already told you everything I know." I glared heatedly his way, "Get out."

"Where is this Mikah guy?" Ken demanded, "I want to talk to him."

"I don't care what you want." I dodged his question, "I don't want you here." Why was I protecting Mikah? Because I knew I had to protect him to protect the family.

"I deserve to know!"

"I don't care!"

"Alright." Carlisle spoke up, "I think that's enough-"

"Your little whore of a daughter knows something she's not telling me!" Emmett was on his feet faster than he should have been able to, forgetting for a second that he needed to be slow, just as Esme gasped and I looked down.

"Emmett, no." Esme placed her hand on Emmett's chest, stopping his advance.

"It's time for you to leave." Carlisle's carefully calm voice gave his anger away to those of us that knew him, "Now." Taking the hint, Ken took one step back.

"Boys, come on." He said evenly, "Zack, I don't want you around her anymore. You might be next." Zack didn't say a word, giving me a sad glance as he obeyed. I returned his glance, trying to let him know I understood.

"This isn't over." Ken pointed at me again, and I turned my eyes down. Remembering his words from that night, "I'll get the answers I want. That psychopath needs to be locked up. Someplace she can't kill anyone else. One day soon, she will be."

"Out." Emmett growled his way, "While you can still walk. I don't deal well with threats against my family."

"Neither do I." Ken told him, looking to me next, "I will get my answers. Just remember that. You know where to find me." I didn't look up, squeezing my eyes shut as I listened to him leave. Zack and Andrew following closely.

I flinched at the front door slamming shut, before I had to sit again, shaking this time.

"He's lucky." Emmett growled, "I hope he knows that. I'd gladly take him out too."

"If Mikah shows up," I muttered bitterly through clenched teeth, "Tell him to find someone to replace him here. I don't want to see him again."

"Why?" Jasper asked, surprised, "I thought you two were just starting to get along."

"He threatened Josh that night." I admitted, looking up at him, "Mikah told Josh that if he were to jeopardize my safety in any way, he'd take payment from him. He must have seen Josh walking away from me as a way of jeopardizing my safety. Because he wasn't there when I needed him to protect me." Nobody said anything to that. Staying silent as they realized I was probably right.

"It was Mikah."

**A/N: Oh snap!  
THANK YOU to those of you who take the time to review each chapter. Without you, I'd most likely keep my ramblings to myself lol  
I might take some time between chapter five and six, seeing as how I've now caught up to what I'd had written.** **No worries, though. More is on it's way.  
Until six, guys. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

I waited, standing in my room. Trying to figure out how, just why I was so conflicted. I knew Mikah leaving was what I wanted, but I didn't want it. I wanted him to stay around, but I didn't want to see him again. Not after figuring out what he wouldn't tell me.

I knew it probably wasn't intentional, and that I was being very irrational, but I couldn't help it. Josh was the best friend I had.

He'd known all along how worried I was about Josh. He knew this entire time what happened, and he knew I had every right to know. Yet it took Ken reminding me for me to figure it out.

A quiet knock at the door had me glance back briefly.

"Yeah?" I called quietly, turning my eyes back out the window. I listened to the door open slowly, and close as whoever it was came into the room.

"There are parts to this that you're mistaken on." I shook my head at Mikah's quiet voice, "You're jumping to conclusions, just the way you always do." I hadn't expected him to come in and try to talk to me.

"You knew I didn't know." I mumbled, "You knew how much it would have meant to me to know."

"I took you back that night." He said, "I took you back, and I placed you in bed. I got you some water, and two Tylenol from the bathroom."

"I know all that." I sniffed, keeping my eyes out the window, "I found it the next morning."

"Once I left you, I went back." He continued, "To find the boy."

"He has a name." I barked over my shoulder at him, and he looked down.

"Josh." He specified, "I went back to find Josh." I turned my eyes back out the window, "I wanted to bring him back, princess. I did, but-"

"But you didn't."

"I'm sorry." Was his response, and I closed my eyes.

"I'm so tired of hearing that." I grumbled, "So instead of telling me you're sorry, why don't you do what I told you to do, and find yourself replaced."

"There are still parts to this that you don't fully understand." He repeated, "Leandra, you do not want-"

"You heard me!" I turned sharply to glare at him, "Or do I have to request a replacement from Aro myself?" That was a low blow, but I didn't care. He was the reason behind everything. If he hadn't have done what he did, I wouldn't be hurting. That was one argument he really didn't want to have.

He held my gaze easily, sighing a little. Glancing down, he seemed to think carefully about how he replied. For a moment, I considered rethinking my request. Why would I do that? Yeah, I knew he cared about me, but there was just something about him that both irritated the living hell out of me, and interested me. I didn't know how I felt about losing that.

"That won't be necessary." He said evenly when he looked back up, "My replacement will be here before the morning." He gave me a quick nod, and turned. Leaving the room, and closing the door behind himself. I stood there for a moment, unsure.

He wasn't lying.

The moment the chosen replacement arrived, I didn't like him. I scooted closer to Esme on the couch, peering up at his intense gaze. He introduced himself as Cameron, and I knew the second I heard his voice that he was nothing like Mikah. I knew the moment I laid eyes on him that he was nothing like Mikah.

I glanced around, noting instantly that the others felt the same as I did. I knew I'd just made a very big mistake. Even before what happened next.

"You, you, you two, and you." He said, gesturing to different members of the family individually, "Go hunt."

I didn't like that, "That's not-"

"I didn't ask you." He said, turning his piercing gaze to me, and I shrunk slightly into Esme's side, "In fact, you. Go into your bedroom. You will stay there unless it's absolutely necessary to leave."

"Fuck no." I frowned, "You can just drop that attitude right now, because-"

I was lifted without another word, torn from Esme's side despite the protests from those watching, and carried around the stomach almost roughly. I didn't have a breath left to shout with, otherwise I would have. He obviously wasn't accustomed to handling humans without hurting them. I was literally tossed with a loud yelp from the doorway onto my bed. Before I even stopped bouncing, the door was closed loudly.

It was very disorienting to be tossed, so it took me a little while to right myself and climb off the bed. Crossing the room as quickly as I could, I touched the doorknob in time for the door to be pushed open. Just as Mikah had done, but this was different.

Instead of feeling a little nervous, Cameron's gaze gave me the familiar feeling of fear I was so used to getting from crimson eyes like his. He didn't have to say a word, and I took a step back.

"Do we have a problem?" He asked pointedly, and I could only shake my head, "Good. Very good. How about you turn yourself right around, and we'll forget this ever happened?" I took another step back, and he grinned.

Where the hell had Mikah found him?

"I-"

"I'm listening." He interrupted, shutting me up effectively. I forgot what I was going to say the moment he spoke up again.

"Um.."

"What's bothering you?" He asked, "I'm here for you."

"Can I ask.. W-Where Mikah found you?"

"It became clear," I flinched a little at his stronger answer, "That if you couldn't handle a less than firm hand, I would be sent instead."

"Clear to.. Who?"

"Dear me, you're not very bright." He was annoyed now, "Mikah came to us, requesting a replacement to watch you. Of course, Aro needed to understand why he was being traded in. Fascinating story, that was."

"And?" I asked, nervous now.

"Well, Aro wasn't about to go out and find another random immortal for you, so he hand picked me."

"You're part of the guard." I muttered, understanding now.

"Amazing observation." He smiled a little, "Yes. I'm here to see to it that nothing ever crosses your path again. I'll do the job Mikah failed at."

"He's okay, though?" I had to ask, watching as Cameron stood up straighter.

"Mikah is perfectly fine." He answered, "Aro is slightly disappointed that he didn't manage the job, but he admired Mikah's efforts." I nodded, knowing he was telling me the truth, "Aro expected this, to be honest. The need for a firmer hand with you. So I was chosen." His attention was taken by someone in the living room, "Didn't I tell you to go hunt? Get going!"

"Don't talk to them like-" I cut off at his growl to me. He'd gone from somewhat decent, to dangerous in one second flat. He turned his attention back to the living room.

"Everyday hunts from here on out." He called, closing the door, "Get used to it!" I grit my teeth and opened the door again, managing a step into the hall. A quick glance into the living room told me that the ones he'd pointed out had gone. Jasper and Alice, Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie. Leaving only Esme.

If Edward was smart, he'd stay away.

This was hell. He'd been here for ten minutes, and I could already see it.

Cameron was suddenly there, standing directly in front of me. I jumped with a yelp, looking up at him.

"Leandra, just do what he says." Esme offered, "It'll be alright."

"Do we have a problem?" He asked again, and again, I grit my teeth.

"Yes." I said, "I do. You can't just come here, and-"

"Wrong." He told me firmly, "Let me set one thing straight right now. I'm not here to be your friend. I'm not here to give you chances. I'm here for one purpose, and that's to ensure you survive until December of your sixteenth year alive. That's it, and that means changing the way things go around here."

I narrowed my eyes a little, until he narrowed his, and once more I had to take a step back, "Everyday hunts mean your coven is satisfied. Less opportunity for a slip up. Their diet leaves something to be desired, and that's _you_."

Where the hell had my bravery gone? Since when did the instinct I got when faced with someone like him kick in? Something about Cameron told me not to cross him. The air of authority that surrounded him overwhelmed my bravery. Easily.

As he spoke, he took slow steps toward me, herding me back into my bedroom, "Everyday hunts mean safety, and it ensures you survive. This will go a lot smoother when you learn not to question me. Am I understood?"

"Fuck you." I spat. He smirked, knowing I hated him, but knowing I feared him as well.

"If you prefer, I can take you elsewhere. Not to Aro. No. That'd be too easy. Someplace where you'll learn the rules I have set for you are not bad considering what others would set for you. And I promise you, you would not like that. Now."

He stopped advancing as my back hit the window, "These rules are very clear. Everyday hunts for your coven. You'll spend every waking moment in this room, aside from when it's necessary to leave. For sanitary reasons, and three times a day for meals. Breakfast at eight-thirty. Lunch at twelve-thirty. Dinner at five. I will monitor every bit of food you ingest, to make sure it's good enough for you."

I had to try again, "You know what-"

"You're allowed up to two visitors in this room at a time, but that's it. No _friends_." He sneered the last word, ignoring my attempted interjection, "No one other than your coven are allowed to see you. No wolves, either. I don't trust them, and I don't like them. And these." He gripped my left wrist in his hand, "Are silly. Take them off."

"You can't tell me what to wear." I struggled to pull my wrist back to myself, but he kept an easy hold on me.

"Take them off, or I will." He replied, letting my wrist slip from his grip, "This too." He reached out, gripping the key pendant I still wore around my neck, pulling it up and off of me. Pulling my hair painfully, and resulting in a struggle from me to get it back. He kept it easily out of my reach, growling when I persisted, "If you want a pendant to wear, I'll get one for you from Aro. Your rightful owner."

"You son-of-a-"

"Silence." His firm voice shut me up, but I glared heatedly, "These rules are in effect beginning now. If any one of your coven don't agree, I'm not forcing them to stay here. They're free to leave as they please, but if they attempt to take you, that will meet the strictest punishment. As will any resistance or rebellion. And I promise you that I'm very capable of enforcing these rules, and any punishments I must give in the future."

There was no point in arguing with him. His tone was as solid as his skin was. I kept my gaze down, not bothering to reply now.

"These rules are firm, and are subject to change at any time." He spoke quietly now, "Get used to it." I only looked up long enough to watch him turn, striding from the room and closing the door behind him yet again.

I stood there for a minute, seething with both anger, and fear until the fear won, and I slowly moved to my bed. Realizing quickly that I should have let Mikah stay. I should have just sucked it up, and quit bitching. I should have realized that Aro would send someone more capable this time. One of his own guard.

A week of this went by, and if I thought a week without cigarettes was bad, this was worse. They all cooperated, much to my surprise. Even Emmett angrily did as he was told, but I also knew that it was only for my benefit.

They never complained. At least, not to me. The everyday hunts usually lasted around two to three hours. So for two to three hours a day, there was one member of my family left home, and there was him. The one home varied. It was never the same one twice.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Cameron's shouted voice called to me up the hallway, "What are you doing out?"

"Please." I called back, "I can't stand this!" This was too much like my vision. The suffocating isolation.

"You'd better learn to." He called back, "Get back in there."

"Just five minutes." I offered, "Please." He turned, taking a step toward me. That got me scooting back into the room. Tripping over the door frame in my haste. Anything to avoid being tossed again. I hit the floor, flipped over and kicked the door closed as hard as I could.

I was losing my mind in this room. At least with Mikah, I could leave the room. I could be around my family, and they could hunt whenever they wanted. I kept my bracelets on. A sort of silent defiance, and I knew I wasn't ready to be without them yet. Being without them would overwhelm me when I was already so overwhelmed.

I cried now. All the time. The loneliness was getting to me. I hardly slept, and Carlisle explained it as being caused by being stuck in the same room day in and day out. It was at least twice a day that I had to curl up into a ball, and sob until I had to breathe.

Because of Cameron, I was relearning how to live under a tyrant.

The first day after he arrived, I tried taking my time eating. Just to spend a few extra minutes out of the room, and around my family. He told me that must mean I wasn't as hungry as I thought I was, and put me back into the room without me finishing what I had.

I waited as long as I possibly could before going to the bathroom, just to avoid having to tell him everything I planned to do. That was humiliating. Three days ago, I'd stopped eating. Hoping to get rid of that problem altogether. I should have remembered that wouldn't be the case.

Regardless, I kept it up.

The pressure of the silence was something I hated. Something I'd always hated, but more so now. The silence was what forced me to think about what all I'd done wrong in my life, and especially how I got myself into this mess.

Something Aro should really have thought about was the fact that trading Mikah for Cameron was too heavy, too fast. I was too depressed to eat anymore. Something about losing all will to fight, knowing it'd be useless, meant unavoidable depression. Something about knowing how bad I screwed up, and got my family into this mess with me meant unavoidable depression.

The moment they got back from the hunting trip, Carlisle and Esme came in to check on me. Finding me in my self-preserving ball on the floor beside my bed. Sobbing as silently as I could, trembling with the effort to do so.

"I miss Mikah." I whimpered through my tears, looking up at them, "I am _so_ sorry."

"Have you eaten yet?" Carlisle asked, and I shook my head. He sighed, crossing the room with Esme, "You can't keep this up, Leandra." He was right. My stomach was in hungry knots, and my head ached.

"I'll eat tomorrow." I mumbled, sniffling as I looked down. Gently, I was helped from the floor, and seated on my bed. I instantly curled back up, lowering my forehead onto my knees. I only moved to readjust my sweater's sleeves to cover my bracelets again.

"You told us that yesterday." Esme murmured sadly, sitting directly beside me.

"One day at a time." I offered almost silently, "I have three years of one days to look forward to." Esme gently cleared my hair from my shoulders, trying to offer some sort of comfort. I really didn't feel any.

"I miss Mikah." I admitted again, sighing another sob, "I shouldn't have replaced him. I should have just let him stay. Anybody would be better than him. And now, you're all stuck having to do as he says."

"It's alright, Leandra." Carlisle assured me, "We'll get through this."

"I don't think hunting every day is so bad." Esme offered, "Really."

"I know you're just saying that." I mumbled into my knees, blinking tears from my eyes, "You're used to hunting every two weeks or something. Not every day. It's not fair that he thinks he can just come here, and change everything about-"

"Change of rules." I looked up at the door opening, shutting up instantly, "Visiting time is now over."

"Why?" Carlisle asked, standing, "You can't possibly limit her time any more without revoking it altogether."

"Exactly." Cameron nodded, "Until she starts behaving better, no one is to see her."

"Behaving better?" I asked, "I've done everything you told me to!"

"You've stopped eating." He reminded me evenly, "Short of force feeding you, my options are limited."

"That isn't fair." Esme told him, almost refusing to move, "Think of what constant isolation will do to her."

"That'll do the opposite." Carlisle added, shaking his head.

"It isn't my job to consider her happiness." Cameron replied simply, "That was purely on Mikah." That was the difference. That was why I preferred Mikah to this guy.

"You mean, he didn't have to make sure I was happy?" I asked, surprised.

"No." Cameron answered, "I do suppose after a year and three months of following you, he'd grown attached somehow, but ensuring your happiness along with your safety was something he chose to do. You won't get that with me."

"How do I request him back?" I asked impulsively, "I don't think you're working out here." He smirked.

"I'm afraid the only way to do that, is for someone to go back to Aro himself, and request it in person. Unfortunately for you, I know your entire coven is quite unwilling to leave you for the amount of time that would take. It's difficult to even get them to hunt these days." He looked pointedly to Carlisle, before turning his eyes back to me, "Otherwise, I stay."

"Can you blame them for not being overly anxious to leave her with you?" Esme asked bitterly, "Especially considering her past."

"It isn't my job to know her past." He countered, his amusement gone, "It isn't my job to monitor her happiness, or her loneliness, or how miserable she is. It isn't my job to care. My only job is to mold her into someone obedient, and make absolutely sure that she doesn't die. That's _all_."

"You watch how you talk to her." I spoke up again, "I don't care what you say to me, but you watch your tone-"

"Leandra, it's alright." She assured me, smoothing my hair down my back, "I don't mind it."

"Or what?" Cameron asked me, leaning closer, "What are you going to do about it?" I didn't know what to say to that. So I chose to lean away, averting my eyes nervously. I hated how powerless I felt. It reminded me too much of being a kid. Knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do, "Hmm?" He prompted with a smirk.

"Stop it." Esme defended me, and he righted himself with a chuckle.

"Life will be a lot easier when you learn your place, Leandra." Cameron told me firmly, and for a moment, I lost my breath. Closing my eyes at the words he said to me as they forcefully reminded me of Jack. I had yet to receive any serious injuries from Cameron, but his tone of voice hurt.

"It's so amusing," Cameron continued, "It's really almost sad the way you believe that you actually have a say in how this goes." He studied me for a bit, witnessing closely the way I looked up at Carlisle.

"I suppose I could be merciful." Cameron muttered, his tone disgusted, "You may stay." He gestured to Esme, "But you're the only one. If I catch anyone else even speaking to her, you'll be asked to leave permanently."

"What?" I demanded, shocked just as Carlisle had been, "You can't do that!"

"I can do whatever I feel is necessary." Cameron clarified, "Keep that up, it'll be nobody." I couldn't believe he'd go that far.

"You can't do that." I muttered again, "Just for talking to me? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Until you start behaving obediently, my hands are tied." He said, "I will get you to eat. By any means necessary."

By the end of the day, three of the family were asked to leave. Alice, for talking to me in the hallway, and Jasper for trying to stand up for her. Emmett for doing the same.

I watched the arguing from the doorway of my room, Esme standing behind me supportively. I didn't know what to do. Everything was falling apart. Carlisle quickly settled the arguments, however, speaking to the three of them quietly. Too quietly for me to hear.

"You don't have to leave the trees." Cameron smirked to the three of them, "But you're not to come inside."

They glanced to me, thankfully none of their expressions accusing, but I blinked a tear from my eye.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, shaking my head, "I never meant for this to happen."

"You get back in there." Cameron pointed at me, "This doesn't change anything."

Together, they all gave him an equally dangerous glare, and they turned. Even Rosalie chose to leave on her own. She'd follow Emmett anywhere, so I understood.

"That solves that." Cameron announced almost cheerfully once the door slammed closed, looking back at me. His smirk faded into narrowed eyes, having him seeing something that made him unhappy. Suddenly in front of me, I yelped a little. He took my left wrist again, pushing my sweater's sleeve up my arm. Finding the left bracelet I still wore.

My heart sank a little, and I knew I was in trouble.

"I thought I told you to take these off." He said, "Or I would."

"Go fuck yourself." I glared up at him, his eyes narrowed.

"That," His free hand caught my face painfully, "Isn't very polite." The way he gripped me reminded me forcefully of standing with Ken on the porch that night. My eyes watered in pain, and my breath caught as he turned me around, flattening me back against the door frame.

"Ow." I had to admit he was hurting me, however mumbled it was. Esme's hand on his wrist had me jump a little, looking over at her. Without a word to her, he shoved her away from him. Only hard enough to send her away a few steps, but I could instantly see where this was going.

"Stop." I mumbled as loud as I could, gazing behind him at Carlisle's glare. Cameron freed my face, gripping my neck instead, "Okay. I'll take them off."

"I told you to take them off a week ago." He growled, "And I told you what would happen if you didn't do that."

He released my neck only long enough to raise my left wrist higher, and grip the bracelet in his free hand. He literally tore the metal from my wrist, drawing a loud cry of pain from me as my skin gave before the metal did. Eventually, it did give too, and came loose. If my wrist wasn't broken, I'd be very surprised. I knew, though, that it wasn't. I just wasn't paying enough attention to realize that I could see now.

Obviously not expecting that, he shoved me away from him up the hall much harder than he'd shoved Esme, growling loudly as he did so. Probably to keep from killing me as the scent of my blood so suddenly there caused him pain. Carlisle, thankfully, caught me before his shove could send me to the floor. Tears already down my face.

Without a word, Cameron started toward us. Carlisle shielded me, moving us to the side and watching Cameron intently as he stepped right passed us and headed for the door.

"He's going to hunt." I sobbed as soon as the door was closed behind him, "He'll be gone for three hours." I cringed at the image of that, panting in my pain. Carlisle nodded, taking my word for it as he carefully led me into the living room, and to the couch to sit, where he took my wrist in his hands, "The others just got to Tanya's. She'll be tempted to turn them down, because of what happened before with Irina, but she'll say yes, because this really isn't the same."

I had to pause, holding my breath to keep from crying out in pain.

"Call Jasper." I whimpered, my voice trembling, "Tell him not to do it. Tell them not to go yet. Carlisle, this idea. It won't work." I vaguely noticed Esme turn, heading from the room. He pressed along my wrist, noting each wince I gave, and each time my breath caught, "We're stuck with him for now." I had to keep talking.

"Don't leave me." I whimpered, "I know the others couldn't stay, but please. Don't make him any more mad."

"Leandra." Esme offered the phone, and I took it in my free hand. Sniffling quietly, I wiped my cheek on my shoulder before bringing the phone to my ear.

"Don't go." I mumbled in greeting, "It won't work."

"What happens?" It was Jasper I spoke to, "Leandra, I need to know if it's still worth trying for."

"It's not." I replied, wincing at one last press. I watched Carlisle turn to Esme briefly as I continued, "Jasper, he won't accept another change this time without coming to see what the problem is for himself." Esme, having left the room, returned with supplies and kneeled beside him.

"I'm still tempted." Jasper admitted, "Leandra, he hurt you."

"I don't care." I sniffled, "Don't go. While you're gone, Cameron gets suspicious when you don't stay around."

"Let him." Jasper growled to me.

"No." I said, "It only makes it worse for me. He sees your disappearance as a threat to his safety, and mine. Just.." I sighed, "Give me a minute, okay? Let me think." He agreed, and stayed on the phone. Murmuring now and then to someone with him.

I watched Carlisle carefully clean the heavily bleeding wounds around my wrist, but I was thinking. I was elsewhere. Searching for a way to go about this, to make this go right. As he prepared to wrap my left wrist, I looked to Esme as I set the phone down briefly. Offering my right wrist, wanting her to remove that bracelet since Cameron hadn't removed that one yet.

For the pressure around my wrists to work successfully in blocking my visions, it had to be both at once. I was about to get pressure around my left again, and didn't want to lose the ability to fully see like this. Esme gently unclasped the bracelet around my right wrist, and I gave her a small, appreciative smile.

I almost had it, when Carlisle did something particularly painful to my torn skin. Applying some sort of liquid to the wounds through a needle.

"Ow." I mumbled, flinching a little.

"I'm sorry." He replied, and I bit my lip.

"It's to numb it." I understood, "It's okay." He gave me a nod, and continued. After a few more stinging pokes, I didn't feel a thing there anymore. Apparently, I needed stitches.

"Tomorrow night." I spoke finally, gaining both Jasper's, and Carlisle's attention, "Instead of going to Aro to ask for another replacement, go for the old one. Mikah will be reachable tomorrow night. He'll leave for just long enough to hunt in the east end of the city. Follow him, and you'll have an opportunity to talk to him. Right now, it's hard for me to tell how that will go, but it's worth a try. And Jasper, it has to be you. Your ability to control his emotions will help."

"You got it." Jasper told me.

"Make it quick." I urged, pausing for a whimper at a particularly painful wrap around my suddenly stitched up wrist, "You have eighteen hours before Cameron starts getting suspicious. Six hours after that, he'll feel the pressure to leave. That part hasn't changed. Get back here before Tuesday morning, and we'll be okay. You can't take much longer than that."

I paused, sighing in relief, "You'll make it. Just don't take your time. And stay away from the northwest end of the city. A lot of the guard use that area to hunt. They see you, Aro will know you're there."

"Noted." Jasper replied, and his determination only eased me a little more.

"Take everyone you can." I continued, "You'll pass close to a coven of three just outside of Volterra. Just keep going, and they won't bother you guys. Keep your phone on you. There are so many things I'll keep trying to see for you."

"Thank you." He sounded genuinely appreciative.

"I won't get another chance to talk to you until tomorrow afternoon, but Carlisle will have a few chances before then." Carlisle glanced up, meeting my eyes, "He'll keep you guys posted on how things are going here." I sighed, trying to stop the trembles, "Just remember. Avoid the guard the best you can, but the place will be crawling with them. Aro _can't_ know you're there. Mikah wasn't making things up when he said that if he comes back here, it's to take me back with him, unless something changes his mind."

I listened to the phone change hands, "Leandra, how do you know all of this?" Alice had taken the phone. I knew why she was asking. I hadn't slept.

"I just do." I answered, "I know it, while still being perfectly aware of the present. I guess I don't space out like you do. Even as I'm talking to you, I get updates, I guess you could say."

"Like both parts of your mind working at once?" She asked, surprised, "Both parts, meaning the part of your mind that gives you the visions, and your conscious mind?"

"Yeah." I replied, "Like that."

"Leandra, I can't even do that." She reminded me.

"I guess I've always been able to do this." I admitted, watching Carlisle stand and move Esme to the side. Talking with her quietly, "It's just something I've never noticed before. It's just like the emotions I used to get when I first started developing it. How I could feel the emotions while being awake, but now it's more than just that." She was quiet, probably still shocked.

"I'll be alright tomorrow." I finally said, "He'll keep his distance from me, and as long as I don't push him, I can stall until you get back."

"Hang in there, shorty." Emmett called from behind Alice, and I smiled a little. The phone changed hands again.

"Let me speak to Carlisle." Jasper was back.

"Okay." I said, looking up as Carlisle came back over. Esme following, and sitting beside me as Carlisle took the phone from me.

"It's not broken." I sniffled, looking over my tightly wrapped wrist, "But it'll be pretty sore for a few days. It's almost sprained, and my skin tore pretty bad. It'll leave a decent scar." Esme placed her arm around me as I leaned against her, "It's hard for me to tell yet what Mikah will decide to do. I wish I could, just so I know whether to keep being nervous or not."

I stayed out in the living room for as long as I could, until Esme stood carefully. I knew Cameron was almost there, so I darted up, and ran to my room. Swinging around the doorway, I closed my door carefully just as I heard the front door open.

It was a very long night, and I was surprised when the group going got to Volterra so quickly. Getting there quickly enough wasn't the problem, I figured. It was getting back here in time after finding Mikah. It would be close. Minutes close, but so far, they'd get back in time. They'd show themselves just minutes before Cameron made the decision to leave here with me.

I didn't know where he'd take me, just to "keep me safe", but I didn't want to leave with him. That was something that couldn't happen. I had to ask myself what he was thinking.

I sat there on my bed for hours, watching the day pass, and looking for potential problems. Now I understood why I wore the bracelets all the time. My mind was so busy, it was so hard to concentrate on anything else going on around me. I still could, but I was constantly thinking. Lost in my thoughts like I'd always been before. Overthinking, they'd called it, and now I knew why I did that.

Alice was surprised I could see without spacing out. She was surprised that I could still interact with the present while seeing what was going to happen in the future. It seemed natural to me, which was probably why I didn't even notice it enough to be surprised by it.

I looked up as Esme came in around noon, the phone in her hand.

"Cameron is allowing one phone call." She explained, "It's Jasper."

"I know." I answered, reaching for the phone, "He's wondering."

"Leandra." He said once I brought the phone to my ear, "The time difference-"

"Your time." I clarified, "Give it until around midnight." I explained, trying to be vague. I knew Cameron was listening, so I couldn't continue, "Be careful."

"Don't worry about us, Leandra." I even heard his smirk over the phone, "We'll be alright and we'll see you soon."

We made small talk for just a few minutes. Not even ten.

"Time's up." Cameron walked in, "Hang up." He was already getting edgy. I decided not to push him too far, meeting his eyes with only slight defiance in my eyes as I hung up.

"The entire world isn't out to get you, you know." I muttered, and he narrowed his eyes, "It's bad for you to be so paranoid."

"One can't be too careful." He told me evenly, holding his hand out for the phone.

"I suppose it couldn't hurt." I shrugged a little, "Either way, you're fucked." He pulled the phone from me sharply, turning without another word. I looked up at Esme, knowing she knew I was right.

If Mikah chose to come back to help me, he would win in a fight against Cameron. I didn't want to even think about that scenario, because it would only cause problems. If Cameron decided to leave willingly, he would have to explain to Aro why he was suddenly back.

Aro would take his hand, find out what he did to me, and probably kill him on the spot. For both hurting me, and not keeping one hundred percent control around me. Having to shove me so roughly, potentially risking my life. Treating me so badly, and probably making Aro look bad by doing so.

It definitely made sense why Cameron would feel threatened to know they were in Volterra. He had every right to fear Aro finding out about what happened.

Worst case scenario, Aro would come here anyway, and I'd have to leave with him, but my family wouldn't be in any trouble for the problems around here, because they cooperated fully. They did whatever was asked of them, and I really admired their ability to adapt to such a rapid change in their life.

I knew the moment they got to Mikah, because everything became unsure. He'd listen, of course, but what he would decide was up in the air. It could land either way. After I sent Mikah away so quickly, without even hearing him out, he wasn't sure if he wanted to come back. He both hated himself, and was disappointed in how the trade off happened.

He also knew, though, that we only had one shot at this. So he was, would be, torn either way. It would take an extensive conversation to convince him. Jasper was attempting to sway him, but it'd be difficult to do without having to explain why we needed him back so badly. I knew Jasper's reasons for wanting to keep that from Mikah.

He, as well as all of us, wanted this to end peacefully. Just a simple trade off, like before, but with Cameron so set on keeping what happened the night before from Aro, and with Mikah as protective of me as he was, that would be incredibly difficult.

Night started to fall, and I couldn't sit still anymore. They'd have to start coming back soon if they were going to make it before morning. I stayed as far away from the door as I could, not wanting Cameron to think I was about to attempt anything in any way.

I listened and watched for any hints that Esme or Carlisle had had enough, but the only thing I heard was their quiet talking. Carlisle probably trying to keep him as calm as possible until we had the family back.

I approved. I hoped he kept it up.

"Four hours." I muttered out loud, "Before dawn." They'd only started on their way back an hour before. The talk having to take more time than I thought it would. They needed to hurry if they were going to make it. Nothing could slow them down if they would get back here before Cameron would have enough.

Mikah had agreed. He was with them.

Constantly watching out for every tiny little thing that could possibly slow them down, or what could happen before they got back here was quickly overwhelming me. Focusing on both the present and future at once, while not being used to doing that so thoroughly, was physically and mentally exhausting. Emotionally nervewracking.

I didn't know when it happened, but I did know that I didn't see it coming. An unavoidable bout of dizziness slammed into me, and I hit the floor. Falling unconscious before I even felt it coming.

I woke to Carlisle's voice, frowning as I opened my eyes. I was still laying on my bedroom floor, Carlisle kneeling beside me. I had a horrible ache in my head, which told me I'd probably hit head first. I was just thanking my lucky stars this carpet was soft. I also heard Cameron's voice over in the doorway, arguing with Esme. More like trying to defend his decision to remove my bracelets from what it sounded like.

"What time is it?" I asked, forcing myself to sit up. Instantly panicking again. Five-thirty. Less than an hour now before dawn. I knew, though. Someone was coming.

"Rest, Leandra. I don't know how long you were unconscious." Carlisle urged, but I used my bed to help me stand, scrambling over it much to Carlisle's surprise, "Leandra?"

I pushed passed Cameron, "Hey." He wasn't happy. I nearly got to the front door before he was stopping me in my tracks, blocking my view of it, "You turn yourself around."

I stood firm, though. Looking up at him.

"If you die, Aro is going to be so angry at-"

"I am going to be angry at you regardless, Cameron." To my surprise, I had to look around Cameron, who also turned sharply at Aro's voice in the room. I gasped a little, taking a step back at seeing him. How had this taken me by surprise? I had to look, raising my right wrist just enough to see the bracelet back in place.

Aro's eyes, along with the two guard members he'd brought with him, landed on me. He smiled in greeting as I stood there, struck dumb.

"My dear." He called to me, "How wonderful to see you again. How you've grown."

"I'm sorry." I found myself saying, "I didn't expect-"

"I assure you, it's quite alright." He interrupted my quiet apology, watching as I moved away, "No, dear." He stopped my retreat, and I looked to him again, "Come. I must understand." He offered his hands to me, slowly moving further into the room and I hesitated. Glancing back at Esme and Carlisle, I had no choice.

His eyes found my bandaged left wrist first, but took my right hand instead. The second his hands closed around mine, I understood. This was new to me, being able to understand everything that happened without actually seeing anything. He was getting as much information from me, and I was getting from him somehow. My ability's range to understand every reason behind things was almost separate, and wasn't subjective to whether or not I had a vision. Not with Aro.

Unfortunately, being given that much information all at once made my head spin much worse. I had to bring my other hand up, and hold onto his wrist just to keep myself standing. He didn't seem to mind. Knowing why I did that the moment the thought crossed my mind.

He wasn't looking for a future vision, so this time, I didn't have one. He'd been thinking a lot about what he got from me the last time I saw him, and that prepared him for now. He had complete control over my visions.

I understood now. My family had been stopped, found before they could get very far. I kept my eyes up, watching him now.

He saw my reasons behind not deciding to go to him first, but needing the change of a personal guard, and I saw that he understood why I was so hesitant. That was all he needed to know.

I understood more about how his gift worked now. He was able to see every thought someone ever had, and that didn't change just because he'd taken their hand before, but he had mastered his gift to the point where he was able to pick and choose just what he wanted to see. Since he'd seen what I had thought before, he just moved ahead until he got to the point where he last left me.

He saw what I'd done, all the conversations I'd had, all the trouble I'd gotten into, and the great lengths I'd gone to to hide all I'd been doing from my family. He saw that it wasn't their fault that I'd done everything I'd done, and he saw how much trouble I'd been in when they found out.

I waited patiently, letting him get a good look at the most recent events.

He saw just how much I preferred Mikah to Cameron, and he saw my reasons behind wanting to change Mikah out in the first place. He saw what Cameron had done, and I vaguely heard his unhappiness expressed in a subtly quiet growl.

He saw all I'd looked ahead for, and I knew he understood why I tried to guide them around getting caught.

The mix of information that we got from each other was jumbled to me at first, confusing me. I knew that would go away when I could think clearer, and I wondered what it must have been like for him. He knew what all I knew, and I knew what all he understood.

He released my hand gently after he got to this moment, and I protested.

"Hold on." I mumbled, to his surprise, "I wasn't done." He knew what I was trying to see. There was something else there, but I hadn't gotten the information I needed to see what it was.

"Your gift has grown stronger, my dear." He told me, but never offered his hand again, "But it's yet to reach its full potential. Never fear, darling. I won't take you today." I sighed, visibly relaxing just a bit, "You're here for a reason. You know that reason."

"To avoid resentment in the future." I answered, and he nodded, smiling a little. We all looked to the door at it opening, and I smiled myself at the family returning. Along with others. Tanya and her group filed in behind Alice and the others. Mikah last.

"Let it be known," Aro spoke again, looking to Carlisle, "That Cameron will receive the harshest punishment I've to offer, and if you will, accept my sincerest apologies. I commend you deeply, Carlisle, for how you chose to adjust to the newly laid rules. All for the sake of Leandra."

He looked to me now, "My dearest lioness. You must forgive Mikah his discretions, as he's always only had your welfare in mind. I know you understand that he's the only possible choice here. I won't extend this offer again, and should you decide to exchange him again, you will be forced to stay with who I choose as a replacement, or come to stay with me."

I nodded, letting him know I understood.

"I must assure you." Aro continued, "I understand the depth of the sacrifice you're making, and I must let you know how much I admire that in you." I looked down, "Also, I must assure you that when you do come to me, and become mine, you will adjust quite well. You've seen that as clearly as I have. You'll live the rest of your existence with a heavy heart, as you've lost much in your young life, but I will never cease to do all that I can to attempt to ease that."

I kept my eyes down, once more embarrassed at how much he must have seen.

"It bothers you, I know it does. It's such a shame what you've faced, but that doesn't change how strong I know you are, and can potentially be. I truly can not wait to see the day that you return with me."

It was silent for a moment.

"Forgive yourself, lioness." Aro told me, and I had to look up at him, "Forgive yourself for all the reasons that were never your fault. You struggle, and I see it. You're constantly in such pain, so let's attempt to keep that from growing before the next time you and I meet, shall we?"

"I'll try." I muttered, my tone skeptical.

"That is all I ask." He offered a smile, but I couldn't return it. The fact that he knew the way I fought each day to heal the still bleeding wounds in my heart both embarrassed me and made the wounds hurt more.

Choosing to let go of the wounds didn't make them hurt any less. I only chose to keep moving forward. Letting go didn't mean the end. Letting go meant giving myself a chance to look back, and cry if I chose to. That was it.

I sat stiffly on the couch as Aro stepped around me for a quick, quiet word with Carlisle. How was he able to make the wounds hurt again with just a small offer of support? It confused me.

I only looked up at seeing Mikah push passed Cameron with a small growl, crossing the room and kneeling in front of me.

"Thank you." I muttered, "For coming back." He reached out and softly took my injured left hand in both of his. Sighing, he shook his head as he looked it over.

"You are a foolish one." Mikah pointed out, "Stubborn, and impulsive as I've ever seen. You know this was a very risky idea."

"I know." I said, "But it was going so good. I don't know what changed."

"Not today, princess." He smirked, "Trading me for him." He nodded toward Cameron, who really didn't look happy, "I suppose it was partially my fault, for leaving so willingly."

"I kind of gave you no other choice." I reminded him.

"Right." He chuckled, "So it's entirely your fault."

"Oh, thanks." I laughed along with him, "That makes me feel so much better."

He brought my hand up, kissing my fingers gently. The way any gentleman would do for a lady in some romantic movie. I hadn't a clue why that made me smile, but it did.

"Any time at all, princess." He smiled, and his smile faded. His eyes became more sincere as he gazed up at me, "I hope that you can accept my deepest apologies. I truly never meant you harm."

"I know." I murmured, looking down. "I'm sorry for the way I acted, but I miss him so much."

"Lioness." My attention was taken by Aro again, and I stood up, "I must return. I trust everything is alright now?"

"Yes." I answered, "Thank you."

"I told you a year and a half ago, my dear." He said, stepping closer to me, "I'll do all that I can to ensure you're comfortable. That doesn't merely mean after you come with me. That involves now, and until then. If there is anything that you desire, I'll see to it that you get it." That didn't seem so bad.

I watched him leave, dragging Cameron along with them out the door. I held my breath, hoping Aro didn't suddenly change his mind, and decide to take me anyway. I was still quite dizzy, so as soon as the door closed, I sat back down.

I was worn down. Exhausted.

"Thank you guys." I looked to Tanya, "It was really brave of you to go."

"We'll always stand with you." Tanya replied, "And my, you have grown."

"More beautiful everyday." Carmen smiled, agreeing, "And I agree. We'll always stand with you all. Especially if it means ridding you of someone like that."

"You survived a week of him with just one injury?" Eleazar asked, "I'd say you're very lucky." I looked up at him.

"Eleazar knew him." Alice explained, and he nodded.

"Wait, what? How?" I was confused, "How'd you know him?"

"I used to be a member of the guard." He answered, which surprised me.

"How am I just now hearing about this?" I asked, looking to Carlisle.

"Cameron is one of the ones used to handle any newborns that come along." Eleazar continued, "He's one of the more forceful members of the guard. That's why when I heard his name, I almost couldn't believe it."

"I believe that." I mumbled, "So, when I'm turned, I'll have to deal with him again?"

"That would really depend on who Aro trusts enough to train you." Eleazar answered, "If you're turned there, however, and have to endure someone like him, it won't be any different to you than any correction you get here. More force must be used with a newborn, because a normal talking-to just won't gain results."

"I still wouldn't want to be tossed to him, or anyone like him." I mumbled.

"There are many like him." Eleazar pointed out, "Aro may just train you himself. With a gift like yours, I'll be amazed if he lets anyone have any sort of unsupervised interaction with you. Unless whoever it may be proves that you'll be in very capable hands."

"He won't." I replied, shaking my head, "I'm not looking forward to that."

"Then my suggestion is to turn you before you go." Eleazar said, "Learn the basics from your family first, and save him the trouble."

"I can't." I shook my head, "I have to be human when he comes for me. Otherwise it changes everything."

"I see." Eleazar frowned, "I wonder why that is? Why would Aro risk turning her himself?"

"Perhaps he thinks that may make the bond even stronger?" Tanya suggested, and Eleazar thought for a moment.

"He knows that who turns someone never makes a difference." He shook his head a little, "Perhaps personally it would have a deeper meaning, but other than that, it doesn't. Venom is venom. It doesn't matter who delivers it."

"New subject, please." I mumbled, looking down at my hands. I wasn't looking forward to that pain. The pain of being turned. I used to be alright with it, back when I thought I'd be staying with my family. Now it bothered me to think about.

"All I mean," Tanya said, "Is that it wouldn't be unlike him to want an instant attachment the moment she's turned. Heavy correction from the very start."

"That would make sense." Eleazar nodded, and I sighed, standing.

"It doesn't matter to me why." I said, "All I care about is that I have to leave here human." I knew otherwise, however. Aro was planning something. I didn't know exactly what, but whatever it was, he needed me human for it.

"Shouldn't you already know his reasons, Leandra?" Alice asked, and I paused, sighing heavily.

"I couldn't see." I admitted, "That's what I wasn't finished with, and he took his hand away before I could look closer, but.. Whatever it might turn out to be, I need to be older for, I think. He was concerned about my age, which is part of the reason he decided to leave me here." Frowns met my gaze, most in confusion, "He still considers me too young. I don't know what that could mean." I continued, "He hid it from me."

"He already knows how to do that?" Emmett asked, surprised.

"He knows that I was getting as much information from him as he was getting from me, so I guess he knows he has to be careful now how long he looks if he wants to keep something from me." I replied with a small shrug, "It's still hard for me, though. It's like.. It's almost too much, but it's never quite too much. I don't know how else to explain it." I closed my eyes, resting them for a few seconds.

Sensing my need to change the subject, Emmett's grin caught my attention when I opened my eyes again.

"Look, shorty." He said, gesturing to the couch behind me, "He's sitting." I had to look, spotting Mikah sitting stiffly on the couch. I couldn't help smirking just a little at how uncomfortable he still looked.

"I've been practicing." He admitted sheepishly.

"I still can't believe how much you've grown. You were just a tiny little thing last year." Tanya smiled at me, and I was relieved to know she didn't hold our past against me.

"From what I hear," Kate laughed quietly, "She's also quite a handful."

"Painfully so." Esme replied with a quiet sigh.

"How is she not related to me?" Kate asked as she sat in the open chair behind her, and I smiled a little, "I expected that, though. How could anyone not see that coming?"

"I think I've done all the troublemaking I can handle for now." I admitted, sitting back down in my spot on the couch.

"Aw, don't let that controlling asshole destroy your troublemaking instincts." Emmett's reply surprised me, and I gave him a look.

"Since when are you telling me to get into trouble?" I asked, "If I remember right, you were one of the ones that would have willingly chained me in the basement."

"Mikah's right." He muttered apologetically, "That's normal teenager shit."

"Emmett." Esme corrected quietly.

"She obviously knows what she's doing, and she's learned her lesson." He reasoned, "Haven't you, shorty?"

"No." I snorted and he groaned.

"I'm trying to get you ungrounded." He sighed, "Work with me, kid."

"I won't lie to get myself anywhere." I said, "Not anymore."

"See?" Emmett grinned, "She did learn something." I looked down at my right wrist, inspecting it for a moment before I stood again.

"I'm going to sit outside." I mumbled, stepped passed Tanya where she stood beside Carmen. Before I reached the door, Mikah was suddenly there. Pulling it open for me. I received many sad gazes on my way outside, but I chose not to acknowledge them.

To be honest, I was worn out. So incredibly exhausted from the stress of the last week. Still hurting over what Aro had told me. That had hit way too close to home, and it had been quite some time since I'd allowed anything someone said to upset me so much.

I wasn't as healed as I thought I was.

As grateful as I was to still be alive, I still carried the same weight as I had when I was nine years old. Most times, I could hold it easily. Some days, like today, like after what Aro told me, it was heavy.

I was just tired, I reasoned with myself. I was only tired, and I'd be back to normal after I slept. I leaned against the porch railing, staring out over the yard. Minutes passed.

"Where do you go when you're not here?" I jumped a little at Mikah's voice beside me, not expecting him to speak. I looked over at him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning a little.

"The look in your eyes." He clarified, "Some moments you seem so lost. Like you don't recognize anything about where you are."

"Long story." I mumbled, looking back out over the yard, "One, before you ask, that I'm not willing to try to explain, because it's got nothing but pain written in it. It's one I'm not willing to even try to tell, because all I want to do is just forget it, but that seems impossible when people are constantly bringing it up, and never take no for an answer." I hadn't realized I'd started to ramble, but he caught every word.

"Your past," He murmured after a moment, "Is nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed of it." I sighed, "I just choose to let it go."

"Your past," He said again, "Is something that bothers you deeply?"

"Very much so, yes." I replied almost silently after a moment.

"What must you forgive, princess?" He asked, referencing what Aro told me before. He tried to meet my eyes, but I refused. I closed my eyes briefly, fighting the tears. I was a lot more successful nowadays than I was before. I could look to him now, and see him clearly instead of having my eyes brimming with tears.

"Being born." My answer both confused and concerned him, given the look in his eyes. I sighed and turned, following the steps down into the yard. As I expected, he followed. Despite the pouring rain beyond the cover of the porch, I was soaked to the skin instantly.

"Leandra?" Mikah called over the sound of the rain, and I finally stopped, turning to face him in the yard. My hair clung to my neck and cheeks as I looked up at him. Clinging desperately to the strength I had gathered for what seemed like so long.

"One thing you need to get straight right now, Mikah," I started, "Is that I'm not someone who needs anyone to tell me how sometimes things go wrong, and there's nothing I can do about it."

He still seemed concerned and puzzled, "Because I know. I know. Life sucks, then we die. That's how it works for the most unfortunate of us." He stayed quiet, studying me, "I'm not someone who needs anyone to coddle me, or treat me like some stupid teenager. I've lived a life that would turn your stomach, and I've seen it all. I've heard it all."

"My apologies." He murmured, knowing he'd done that before. I shook my head sharply, gritting my teeth.

"First and foremost, never tell me how sorry you are." I replied, "There is no right thing to say when you find out about something like this, so don't even try. When you can honestly tell me that you've lived through your own personal hell, then you can tell me how sorry you are. When you know what it's like for nightmares to come in the daytime, then you can tell me how sorry you are. When you truly know what it's like to have to run for your life, and pray with every fiber of your being that you'll die where you hide, before you're found, then you can tell me how sorry you are. When you know what that life is like, that's the moment when I'll accept your comfort."

I hardly noticed my throat getting tight, and I hardly noticed the pain in my heart, or the tears down my cheeks. Blending with the rain, "But I promise you one thing, Mikah. I'm not the one that needs forgiven, yet I'm the one stuck forced to do the forgiving."

"This may not mean much coming from somebody like me," Mikah finally spoke, "But hate in your heart will only make your life more like the living hell you describe. There comes a time in all of our lives that forgiveness is a must. Especially when it's the most difficult to do so. Especially when it's the most painful memory we have in our mind." He started slowly toward me, and I could only watch.

"There are so many times when sometimes, you just want to stay bitter and angry, Leandra. I get that. You want to stay mad, because if you don't, who will? I get that as well." His voice was quiet now, supportive and a tone that reached me more than I'd ever been reached before. A slight hint of the intense suffering I felt.

"You want to hold onto that anger." He said quietly, finally reaching me. He placed his hands on my shoulders, massaging softly as I looked up at him, and he looked down at me, "You want to just turn your back on the world, because that's the only way you know of to shut out the hurt and the tears. I understand, Leandra. I do." He did. He knew.

"You're mad, and you have every right to be, but that doesn't mean you have to turn that hatred inward. Haven't you had enough hatred in your life, without hating yourself?"

He couldn't even finish saying the last word before I started to cry.

"Fighting it isn't the way this is meant to go." He told me, searching my eyes, "It's not fair. It's not right. You have a very heavy heart, Leandra, but that makes you stronger in the long run."

"It won't change anything!" I took a step back, "What's the use in forgiving if it won't change a damn thing?"

"Because it will." He said, "It will change your life in ways you can't even begin to imagine. If you're not ready to forgive just yet, then you stay angry. There's nothing wrong with that. You're allowed to be mad, because you've had your entire life stolen. Nobody else can tell you when to let go, because they're not you. Only you'll know when you're ready. This isn't something that can just solve itself with time. It takes work, and it takes tears and pain. You're not done. For now, stay mad. Stay angry, and stay hurt. You'll eventually burn that anger away into acceptance, I promise you."

He got it. He understood more than I thought he did before.

We talked for hours outside that day, eventually moving back to the cover of the porch. Or rather, I talked, and he listened. I found when he wasn't being a condescending asshole, he was very easy for me to get along with.

When he talked, I listened. He grew up in Utah, born into a family of six in the early 1900's. The second oldest of four boys and two girls. His mother was a lot like mine, who preferred to ignore her children, and his father was someone who was a lot like Jack. He would hit them, often like I'd been hit, and Mikah admitted that he often worried about what may have happened to his sisters.

There was one difference, however. His mother knew all about everything his father did to them, and never did a damn thing to stop it. She just didn't care. She didn't have the excuse mine did.

"The last night of my life," He told me quietly, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. A very human action, "It was my father that decided he didn't want me around anymore. I tried to help him, my youngest brother, but that became a problem. Jonathan, my older brother, was walking quickly in our father's footsteps, so it was up to me to at least try."

He paused, remembering vividly, given the look in his eyes, "I heard his cries one evening while the two kids were putting the horses away, and ran out to the barn to see what was wrong. Thinking maybe one of the horses had hurt one of them, until I recognized his shouts as well."

I looked down, knowing already where this was going.

"Emily, my youngest sister and the baby of the family, was off to the side, hiding behind a bale of hay. She wasn't moving, just watching. Knowing she couldn't do anything. Just terrified to see Alex being handled that way by him. I told her to stay there. I couldn't watch her in his hands as well." He was very protective by nature. That quickly became apparent to me.

"There was so much blood, I knew he'd never survive if I didn't do something." He continued, "I'd never felt so.. Helpless before in my life. I remembered being beaten like that as a child, yet I'd never felt so helpless. To see it happening to my kid brother, I just snapped. I picked up a plank of wood, and I hit him with it. Unfortunately for the three of us, it wasn't enough."

He didn't have to say anything more on that.

We both kept our gazes down, and for once, I really wasn't sure what to say. I'd had to be strong like that, but his was worse somehow. To know he tried to help his brother, and wasn't able to, made it worse that what I'd gone through.

"He took me out when he was sure I was dead, and he rolled me down the hill on the other side of the barn. And he walked away. Already having written me off. I'm actually surprised Cole found me before the animals did that night. He found me, and he took care of me."

"I had no idea." I mumbled, shaking my head.

"The point is, I know where you are right now." He said, "We aren't defined by the bullies in our past, Leandra. It's the life you make for yourself afterwards that counts. What you get from the pieces of yourself is never going to be the same as it was before, but it'll be something wonderful just the same. We all have our pasts, and our history. Often, our kind didn't have a happy ending, which I think could be what attributes to our animalistic tendencies, but I know you've got what it takes to build something wonderful from the pieces of yourself."

It must have been nice to see that potential in me.

"You just need time."

**A/N: I'm aware of how incredibly long this is, but I liked it the way it was. I apologize.  
And I'm aware of how.. Horribly choppy this chapter is, but this has been a very very long week for me.  
I love how this scene between Mikah and Leandra came out. {:  
THANK YOU to those of you who REVIEWED last chapter!** **You're amazing!  
Seven may have.. Less than awesome subjects, so be aware of that.** **Seven will take me a bit of time as well, and I promise to make that one shorter.  
Until seven, guys!**


	7. Chapter 7

**ImPORTANT NOTE! READ THIS!: This story is rated 'M' for a reason, people! THIS is your official warning to content in this chapter. Proceed with CAUTION!**

**Chapter Seven**

"I do understand that Aro isn't that nice to just anyone." I said, leading Mikah inside, "Believe me, I know. I'm surprised he was that nice to me, even if I do have a gift he wants. I just really, _really_ don't want to go to him."

"I can't say as I blame you." Mikah replied, "I'm just glad you're not letting yourself be fooled into thinking he has any sort of moral base." Mikah obviously didn't understand that I knew more about Aro than anyone thought.

"Definitely not." I said, watching him close the door, "I've known all along, since the moment I met him, that he's one heartless son-of-a-bitch. Probably better than you do."

"Perhaps you weren't expecting such support from him, and that's why you let his words upset you so much." Mikah offered, coming to my side again.

"I think it's just been a really shitty week, and I've been holding that back for too long."

"You also have to think about it this way." We both looked to Jasper as he spoke, "He sees every thought you've ever had, just as if those thoughts were his own."

"So he saw first hand what she's gone through." Mikah caught on, "It had to be like he lived it too. Possibly."

"Maybe we can use that to our advantage." Jasper's eyes lit up, and he smiled. I frowned, confused, so he continued, "He's just proven today that he may have somewhat of a soft spot for her. Aside from her gift, he admires her strength and he knows how much of a sacrifice she's making. That doesn't just happen everyday."

"So what are you suggesting?" Carlisle asked, just as confused as I was.

"Think about our family." Jasper replied, looking to him now, "What we can do. If we do it right, I think it's very possible to maybe persuade him just a little bit. Ness can give him thoughts. I can give him emotions he's never imagined before. I've just never tried before, because I thought sure it wouldn't work."

"I don't know." I frowned, "It's worth thinking about, but I really wouldn't want to put you two into a position like that. I've already agreed."

"But if he changes his mind about taking you, wouldn't that be worth a little bit of effort on our part?" Jasper asked.

"Of course it would be, but.." I sighed, shaking my head a little. Doing so was a bad idea, as dizziness nearly overtook me again. Mikah caught me before I could fall, helping me sit down, "Why am I still feeling like this? I shouldn't be. Not with the bracelet on." My voice hardly made a sound, as I kept my eyes closed.

"Because it has nothing to do with your gift, Leandra." Carlisle answered, "You haven't eaten in four days."

"Four days?" Mikah asked, surprised, "Why not?"

"She's not felt up to it." Esme answered, turning and leaving the room in a haste. I was glad she answered that way, instead of telling him the actual reason. That would have been even more humiliating.

"So make her." Mikah reasoned, "Four days is way too long."

"We don't make her do anything." Jasper explained, "Even if it would be for her own good."

To my surprise, I managed to hear my cell phone vibrate in my bedroom. It was sitting on the dresser, and the noise it made was just loud enough for me to hear. I went to stand, but Mikah gestured I stay. Running off and returning a second later with it in his hand. I was puzzled, because there weren't many people with my number. Normally whoever needed me just called Carlisle first.

It was a text message from Andrew.

"Get here quick. It's Zack." Was all it said, and my mind began working overtime. What could possibly have happened that I'd need to be there for? I forced myself to stand, and walked off, deciding to call.

He answered before the third ring. Behind him, in the background, I heard arguing voices.

"What's going on?" I had to ask, "Is Zack okay?"

"He's lost his mind, I think." Andrew replied, "He's demanding you."

Worry exploded in my stomach, and I looked over at Carlisle. Who'd clearly heard what Andrew told me.

"I'll see if I can get there."

"Hurry." Andrew replied, "My dad and I are here, just because he's.. Well, I don't even know how to explain it." I nodded. Hanging up, I turned back around.

"I need to go." I said quietly, "I promised them I'd be there." A handful of my family looked toward the window, spotting the afternoon sunlight in the yard.

"Leandra, I don't know." Esme murmured in response, "After your behavior-"

"I won't do anything." I replied, "I promise. I'll only go there, and come back home. I know how big of a risk this is, to let me out, but I swear on everything I won't fuck up again. I just need to be there for him. Please. He's just lost his brother, and it's the least I can do."

Carlisle sighed, and I looked to him next.

"He needs me." I plead, "I won't get myself into any trouble. I won't do anything stupid, and I'll be home before dark. I promise. And this is something I have to do alone. I don't want anyone following me."

"Why not?" Mikah asked, surprised.

"Because." I explained, "If I have to be worried about someone listening in, how am I supposed to not be self-conscious when trying to calm him down?" He seemed as if he didn't understand my logic in the least, "I'm going straight to Zack's. Nowhere else. I don't want to lose your guy's trust forever. Let me earn it back. And besides. You overreact."

"I do not." Mikah frowned.

"You kind of do." Emmett agreed with me, nodding, "I say let her out on her own. There's not much else she can do that's worse than what she's already done."

"One last time." Carlisle said after a moment, "Please don't make me regret trusting you this time."

"You won't." I said, "I'll behave. Right back here before dark. And keep him here." I threw on my shoes as quickly as I could, and came back out with another quick promise to behave.

I let Carlisle drive me, but made him promise before getting out the car to go straight home. That I'd call him if I couldn't get a ride home with someone else.

"Alright." His tone told me he would do as I asked, and that relieved me. I needed to earn his trust back. It was just something I wanted to do for myself, and to do that, I needed to prove that I was able to be out on my own without fucking up.

I climbed from the car, and I waited for him to drive away before heading up the walk.

I knocked urgently on the door, wondering what on earth could be wrong with Zack that I needed to be there for. Andrew pulled it open, seeming surprised I actually came. I pushed passed him, and headed up the stairs, passed Heather who looked seconds away from a breakdown, and up in the hallway, up to Mike who stood outside Zack's bedroom door.

"Leandra." He muttered, surprised, "No. You can't be here."

"Zack." I called through the door, "What the hell is going on?"

The door flew open, and I was grabbed roughly by the arm. I yelped as I was pulled into the room and the door was slammed behind me.

"What-" I was cut off as I was shoved against the door, and a loud slap to my cheek dazed me enough to stay still.

"You shut up." I no longer recognized Zack, and as I opened my eyes, I looked up at him, he glared down at me, "I want some answers, and I want them now."

"Zack, just-" Another slap had me whimpering as he reached beside me and locked the door. He grabbed a fist full of my hair and pulled me away from the door. Spinning me to throw me on the bed. Before I could react, he was climbing over me and pinning me to it. His weight resting on my hips, and both of my wrists in one of his hands, and for the moment, I was too shocked to give much of a struggle.

I was officially scared now, looking up at him.

"I want to know." He told me, "Is everything grandpa told me about you true?"

"I don't know-" He slapped me again, drawing a cry from me, "Stop hitting me!"

"Is it true?" He shouted right back down at me.

"I don't know what all he told you!" I struggled under him, trying to free my wrists, "I won't confess to anything until I know!" This was insane! He'd lost his damn mind. He needed a good beatdown, but I was too shocked to move, much less deliver that beatdown myself. Not to mention, the four days of not eating taking what energy I usually had. I was quickly learning to regret that.

"What happened with uncle Jack?" He demanded, "Did you kill him?"

"No." I answered immediately, "My family did!" That seemed to throw him off for a second, "For trying to kill me. They came home, to find him pinning me like this. So get off me!" That last part seemed to make the whole thing unbelievable, thankfully. I hadn't meant to admit that to him.

He didn't move, but his glare intensified, "What did you do to grandpa?"

"He was trying to drown me!" I told him incredulously.

"Did you try to kill him?" He demanded.

"Yes." I answered, "To save my own life!"

"How did he get to Idaho?" He demanded again, "From where you were?"

"Get off of me!" I shouted up at him, struggling again.

"Don't change the subject!"

"Get off of me!" I was answered this time with a rougher slap. My eyes watered again as I felt him lean to the side, and it took me a few seconds before I could open my eyes. When I did, it was to the click of the opening of a knife in his hand. My heart dropped, and I was petrified for a moment, "Where did you get that?"

He leaned down and pressed the blade to the skin of my neck. Causing me to stiffen even more. I even held my breath as he gathered both frozen wrists and pinned them against my chest tightly now. Giving himself better leverage.

"You wouldn't." I finally said, and immediately felt the stinging as he applied the right amount of pressure to the blade, and the skin of my neck split just enough to bleed.

"He told me." Zack said, "Grandpa told me. About everything Jack did to you." I couldn't speak now if I wanted to, fear silencing me, "I didn't know everything before, but now I do, and now I can see how much you really did deserve it."

"Y-You don't mean that." I told him, struggling to keep my trembling voice steady, "Zack, you're not like this."

"Oh, I'm not like this?" He mocked my tone a little, "I'm not? How the fuck would you know?"

"Zack stop it." I actually started to cry now, more fearful than I'd ever been, "Please let me up and we can talk."

"Or we can just talk here." He offered, pressing a little harder on the blade, "This seems to be the only way I can get the truth from you, and I'm not done asking you questions."

"Zack-"

"I'm not done!"

A knock at the door caught our attention.

"Zack," It was Ken, "Son, don't kill her. I know how angry you are, believe me, but let me in." Zack looked back down at me, and I saw my opportunity. Bringing my head up quickly, I hit my forehead against his. His grip loosened and I shoved him to the floor. The knife skidded across the floor, hitting the opposite wall with a quiet thud. Darting up, I crawled to the end of the bed.

I didn't make it off the bed before he was up and stood between me and the door. Close enough have to make me look up to see his glare. I froze where I kneeled on the bed, watching him shake his head a little. He wasn't the person I knew anymore. Something had to have happened to break him this way.

"Zack." Ken called again, "Open the door."

"I'm not done, and you're not leaving until I am." He told me flatly, "What happened to Josh?"

"I don't know what you're-" A closed-fisted backhand took me off guard, sending me sideways to hit my head against the wall. My vision spun slightly, and I slowly brought my hand up to touch my forehead, squeezing my eyes shut against the pain and the nausea.

He climbed back onto the bed with me, forcefully rolling me to my back and climbing over me again.

"I'm sick of your lies, Leandra."

He kneeled on my wrists, even the injured one which I knew would have torn the stitches there if I fought too hard to free it. I gave a cry of pain and he hit me yet again.

"What happened to Josh?"

"He's gone!" I cried, "He's not coming back."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, "Tell me what you know."

"Mikah.." I gasped for breath under his weight and around my tears, "It was Mikah. B-But it.. It wasn't his fault. He didn't mean for anything to happen. It just did."

"You knew?" He asked sharply, "This whole time, you knew? Didn't you think his brother deserved to know? His dad?"

"I've had a lot to deal with!"

"I don't want to hear your excuses, Leandra!"

"Get off of me!" I shouted through my tears, "You're hurting me!"

"Good!" He shouted back down at me, grunting a little with the effort to hold me down as I gave a struggle. We both ignored the next knock at the door, "It's your fault he's gone!"

"No it's not!"

"It's your fault Jack is gone, it's your fault grandpa was in his coma for so long, and it's your fault Josh is gone!" He was getting even more mad, "It's your fault I'm this way now, and you're going to pay the goddamn price!"

"Get off of-" He cut me off with the hardest slap I'd gotten yet, and I gave a loud whimper and a harder struggle.

"It's your turn to suffer!"

"I already have!" I cried, clearly tasting the blood in my mouth, "I've already suffered! Are you really that stupid?" I had to stop. I was hardly able to breathe, so I just laid my head back, starting to sob. I stopped fighting. I didn't know what else to do.

All this time, I'd worried about Josh turning out this way, but hadn't even given a thought about Zack. He'd been too nice. He was such a good person before, and seemingly overnight, this was the result.

"Go ahead." He told me, "Cry. I don't care anymore. Not after I found out what you've done. You ruined my family. Destroyed it singlehandedly."

I'd had enough. I had to look for it, but I had what it took to win this fight. I grit my teeth, and yanked both wrists out from under his knees. Giving a cry as I did so, as I knew for a fact several of my stitches tore open. As I did so, I arched, bucking him off of me a lot easier than I'd done the same to Ken. He hit the wall, and I rolled as quickly as I could.

I felt his efforts to catch me again, which only made me scramble harder. Something that had never happened before, though, was the literal tackle he gave me. I hit the floor on my stomach, his weight slamming onto me hard enough to take my breath. The floor thudded with the weight of both of us hitting it.

"You're quick." He panted a little, "But you're not getting away from me that easily."

A harder pound on the door had him glance back. Still managing to hold me easily, though. Unfortunately.

"Zack," It was Mike this time, "Cut your shit!"

"He doesn't get it." Zack laughed humorlessly down at me, "He doesn't. If he knew what you've done, he'd be just as mad at you as I am." He turned back, "It's her fault, dad. Everything is her fault!"

"Open the goddamn door!" Was Mike's only response.

"She got Jack killed." Zack called back, "It was her that put grandpa into the coma. She killed Josh."

"I didn't kill-" He didn't slap me this time. He grabbed my hair tightly, brought my head up, and slammed my face onto the floor. The ringing in my ears after that drowned out the silence now on the other side of the door.

"Just a few more questions." He muttered, and I recognized his voice even less. The darker tone sending a wave of fear washing through me, "All those times I stuck up for you and Josh. You were fucking him, weren't you?"

That shocked me, "What?" I had to ask. I really wasn't sure if I heard him right.

"Oh, come on." He murmured, "With how you two acted around each other? I'm not stupid."

"No." I told him incredulously, "Not once."

"You're such a little liar." He laughed, "Grandpa says you've been a slut your entire life. I can't see where he's wrong." That hurt.

"Stop it." I muttered up at him, despite how my voice trembled.

"Seeing as how you don't seem to mind working your way through the family," He said conversationally, "Mind if I give you a go?"

"Shut up!" I don't think I'd ever been so offended in my life. Slow tears fell from my eyes.

"Come on." He said, "I won't take much of your time."

"Fuck you, Zack." I gave a harder struggle, "Get off of me." Again, I was deeply regretting how weak I was compared to him now. I had nowhere near the amount of strength I had before. I sensed this ending badly, and that scared me.

"What if I pay you?" He asked, "I bet Josh didn't have to pay you."

I struggled again, writhing as hard I could, trying to gain freedom. I was humiliated, yet forced to lay here and endure this. Zack was someone I'd never expected this from.

"Did your mom raise you to be such a slut, or is it just genetic?" He asked, "I'll bet Jack was only trying to make you normal. Wasn't he?" He held on tight, refusing to let me go, "And you went and fucked him, making his life hell."

I wanted to die where I laid, turning my face into the carpet. That was the only movement I could make.

"Got him into trouble, and sent him to jail." He continued, "Didn't you? Just admit it."

"No." I mumbled through my tears, "That's not-"

"Why do you still deny it?" He asked, "What's Josh got that I don't?"

"A heart." I replied bitterly, even as my quiet sobs continued.

"Right." He snorted, "So, come on. I'll do all the work. You just lay there."

"Zack, please." I plead into the carpet, "Stop it." I was doing my best to keep from panicking, as that always made things worse. I really couldn't help it, though.

He released me only long enough to roll me onto my back, and pinned me down even more effectively. I managed one scratching slap to his face before he caught my hands almost violently, and pinned them above my head again.

"How many others have you done in your life?" He asked, laughing a little, "Your new family?"

That did it. That officially pissed me off. I writhed harder, and he nearly lost control of me, but his weight stayed firmly on me. He was almost amused, watching me fight under him. My bleeding wrist, however, made his grip slick. So all I had to do was pull the right direction, and I'd get free. That was harder to do than I thought, though, and as soon as he figured out what I was trying to do, he just squeezed them tighter together. Fixing his grip so I knew for a fact I'd never get them free unless he let them go.

My legs were useless in this situation, as they were parted around his hips. I managed just the first sound of a scream until he quickly covered my mouth tightly with his free hand.

"It's true, isn't it?" He asked, taking my harder fight as my answer, "You sick fuck." He laughed as I shook my head, laying it back, "Emmett? Jasper? Even Carlisle?" I couldn't say anything to defend myself, as his hand continued to hold my mouth. I couldn't bite him, as the pressure was too great. I shook my head as much as I could, though.

"I always knew you were too much of a daddy's girl." He chuckled, and I really wanted to hit him. This wasn't just me he was degrading, either. I wouldn't have really cared so much if it'd just been me he was talking about, "Does Esme know how much of a homewrecking little whore you are?"

He was enjoying himself. He wanted to hurt me. I could tell just by one glance up at him that he took the same happiness at seeing me cry as Jack did. Maybe it was genetic. Josh was right.

"So, what?" Zack asked, "Your own family wasn't enough? You had to go after mine?" I still had no option but to not reply. I couldn't.

"What are you doing to her?" Mike was back at the door.

"Just talking now." Zack called back, "She's okay." I attempted to shout through my nose, but he pinched that closed as well.

"You're sure?" Mike asked hesitantly, and I knew it wouldn't take much to convince him. Without the shouting, it would have been easily believable that we were just talking now.

"Positive." Zack replied, "We'll be out in a minute." I struggled for breath this time, and he hesitantly let me breathe through my nose. I jerked my head roughly to the side, and I just started another shout when he kissed me. His lips hurting mine with how forcefully he pressed them to mine. I moved my head back hard, too hard. Hitting the back of my head on the hardwood, dazing myself.

"Well, it's my turn now." He said, "I know you don't really mean no. Everybody else has already had you. Why not let me join that club?"

He managed to unfasten the button on my jeans, and the struggles I gave did no good. Nor the pleas behind his hand. The horrifying realization that he was really intending to go through with this made my head spin, and the panic set in.

I twisted as hard as I could, until he got tired of that. He released my wrists, and my hands immediately went to try to push him off of me. While trying to do that, he gripped my hair tightly, and hit my head on the floor once more. I wasn't awake to struggle any further.

I woke later to a rough slap to my cheek, and I felt his weight leave me as I brought my now free hands up, covering my face in a feeble attempt to shield it.

The dull stinging pain I felt told me nobody had interrupted him.

I was dazed, very disoriented as I numbly sat up. I couldn't believe he'd actually done it. I wanted to cry, and I wanted to throw up. All at the same time. A sort of stinging, resonating pain in my heart overshadowed any other pain I might have felt. Forcefully wringing tears from my eyes as my sides ached from the force of my silent sobs.

"If you think you'll kill me next, you've got another thing coming." Zack muttered, and I couldn't say anything, "That's like a pattern of yours."

I continued to sit there, reaching for my jeans beside me. He stepped on them, and I looked up at him. Slow tears continuing their flowing path down my cheeks. I wanted to demand how he could do that to me, but I couldn't make myself speak. The gut-wrenching shame and humiliation took the place of the panic I felt before, sending ice through my veins.

"Don't tell anyone, okay?" He asked, and stupidly, I shook my head.

I wouldn't want to admit this to anyone anyway.

He raised his foot enough to let me gather my jeans and climb to my feet. He was quiet as he watched me, handing me a handful of tissues before I left. Probably for the blood still on my face. I didn't want to consider what else they could be for.

There was only so much I could do for the new bruises I had, but I was already thinking of an excuse for those. Nobody had to know what else happened.

I couldn't explain what kind of mood he was in now, but I did seem to sense a bit of awkwardness in his posture. Like he couldn't believe it either, but he was still pleased with himself. What kind of future did he have if doing that to me made him happy?

I jumped at Andrew on the other side of the door, concern in his eyes.

"You okay?" He asked, clearly seeing my bruises.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, "No. W-We worked it out."

"Sure did." Zack called from his bed, "We're good now." The smile I heard in his voice made me have to struggle to keep from throwing up. I bit my newly split lip carefully, wincing a little at the sting that resulted.

"You want to come over?" Andrew asked me, not buying it. I had to get better at lying when I just wanted to die. His eyes studied me, looking for any other sign that I was hurt. He distrusted Zack as much as he had every right to distrust him.

"I have to get home." I sniffled, "I'm technically still grounded, and I have to get back."

He insisted to have his dad drive me home. I wasn't about to argue, since standing even hurt. It wasn't an obvious pain, but an ache. One I wasn't used to anymore, but could easily hide. It wasn't anything a couple of Tylenol wouldn't handle, but it was more than that. I just wanted to pretend it never happened. That was best.

As stupid as it was, I still couldn't consider Zack anything but one of my closest friends. I would only tell on him if he did it again. He wouldn't do it again. I knew it.

I made it out of the car under Richard's concerned gaze, and I felt it following me. I just wanted to get inside. I just wanted to go inside, get to my room, and hide long enough to come to terms with the afternoon.

"Leandra?" I heard Richard call before I managed to do that, "I think I need to speak to your parents."

"I'm fine." I told him, watching as he climbed from the car, "You don't need to." It was too late however, as I noticed Carlisle standing there at the door. I bit my lip roughly, keeping my eyes on the steps.

"Humor me." Richard requested, "Honey, I know you tell me you're fine, but you look pretty shaken up."

"Do what you want." I mumbled, turning and pushing passed Carlisle into the house. He didn't know about anything more than our shouting match, so I just didn't have it in me to bother trying to talk him out of it.

"Leandra." Carlisle was surprised I'd be that rude, but I didn't stop. I crossed the living room, desperately trying to just make it to my room.

"Whoa!" Emmett's shout made me glance up, but I didn't stop until his hand closed on my arm in the hallway, "What the hell-" He demanded before I flinched from his hand like he'd burned me. Stepping back fiercely enough to hit the wall behind me with a light thud. I didn't offer an explanation, or even attempt to look at him. My cheeks burned in embarrassment, probably highlighting every new bruise I had, but I couldn't help it.

I could do without being touched.

His frown followed me as I slid by him and jogged now to my room. I gathered clothes at the speed of light, and slammed the bathroom door behind me. Someplace I could cry, and I'd know for a fact I wouldn't be bothered.

I couldn't even look at them anymore, thanks to what Zack told me. I couldn't even look at my own family members anymore, after hearing him make those accusations. I knew it hadn't been true, but the fact that he'd even say those things to me hurt me more than I thought it had at first.

I looked over my new wounds, and the newly opened wound on my wrist. After rinsing the blood away from the torn stitches, I figured I might as well just leave it like that. If I could get away with not being watched too closely, I would rather deal with the scar.

Aside from a bruised and split lip, the other bruises on my face were minor. They would heal in a few days, at most. He actually hadn't damaged me that bad. Physically, anyway.

Considering Zack still a friend was insane. I understood how stupid it was after what he did to me, and the harder I thought about it, the more I knew I wasn't completely unconscious through the whole thing. I'd been awake enough to know there was no use in denying it to myself. I had just been trying to protect myself, so I stopped trying to think about it. I did the best I could to just let it go, but the more I looked into my own eyes in the mirror, the harder that was.

I had to turn away.

The shower burned my skin, but otherwise didn't help any in warming me up. I felt permanently cold, and it took a few hours of just sitting under the scalding water to realize that it wasn't physically cold that I felt. I was cold emotionally, and I'd have given anything to just warm up.

That wasn't going to happen. I knew that, so I eventually had to leave the shower. I dried off slowly, and dressed even slower. I was trying to avoid having to leave the haven of the bathroom. If I could have, I would have spent the night in there.

The moment I opened the door, I jumped a little at Carlisle waiting there. I kept my eyes down, closing my eyes as I wordlessly stepped by him, and attempted to make my way into my room.

"Leandra." He knew something was wrong, "What happened?"

"Didn't Richard tell you?" I mumbled, my hand resting on the door knob. I kept my back to him, closing my eyes and just hoping I held it together. I never was, nor was I ever going to be, a daddy's girl. Crying to him for every little thing was one sure way to become one.

"He said you and Zack had an argument." He clarified, "That argument clearly turned physical, I see, but if it were only that, it doesn't explain the way you're acting now."

"I just want to go to sleep." I whimpered, my hand tightening on the door knob as I plead silently to just be left alone, "Can't I just go to sleep?"

"Honey," Esme stood in the hall now, Mikah beside her, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I mumbled, "I'm really tired, though." Mikah moved forward before I could even react, taking my chin in his hand to look over my face. I flinched, jerking away from him, "Just leave me alone. It's done." He hadn't seen me yet, so it was only natural for him to be surprised.

"No it's not." Mikah growled, and turned to leave. I slapped my hand against his chest before he could fully turn, making him pause.

"Yes it is." I mumbled, "Leave it alone, Mikah. Please."

"You're kidding-"

"_Leave it_!" My shouted voice carried all the way into the living room, given the attention we received. He was obviously surprised, watching me closely. I hadn't ever used that much force in my voice with him before. I'd shouted at him, but never with that much meaning and heat.

The shocked stares I got only made me more uncomfortable.

"I'm fine." I sniffled without anyone having to ask, "I'm fine. I-I just.." I sighed, shaking my head as I pushed my way into my room. Slamming the door closed in Mikah's shocked face.

I threw my clothes in the general direction of my clothes basket, and crumbled against the wall beside the door. Curling into a very insecure ball, burying my eyes in my knees, and I cried. I brought my hand up, knotting my fingers lightly in my damp hair just for something to do.

I cried the kind of silent sob that aches in my stomach. The kind that gives tears too fast to catch, or even clear of my eyes long enough to see. The instant migraine I got from it paled in comparison to the pain of my heart breaking once more. What breath I could take shook along with the rest of me as I struggled so hard to stay quiet.

I stayed there for hours, sitting in the very same spot. Not even thinking far enough to make myself stand and cross the room to my bed. Crying off and on, sobbing most times. It was difficult to understand at times why I was crying so much. It wasn't like Zack had taken anything significant from me. Anything significant was taken long before. I wasn't injured. I was going to live, but somehow, I was wounded emotionally. I'd never felt quite like this before.

Maybe it was the fact that he'd ruined the way I looked at my family? Both literally, and metaphorically. I couldn't even look at them the same way anymore, or meet their eyes. I knew they were worried about me, and to be honest, I was worried about myself.

Maybe it was the fact that I had never, in a million years, expected something like that from Zack. He used to be the most honest and open kid I knew. So friendly, and never said a mean word to anyone. I'd trusted him. I'd always expected him to stay that way, to never change.

Maybe it was the way he believed I deserved everything that had happened to me as a kid. Turning that around in a way I never believed anyone could ever do. And using that as a way to get something he wanted from me. Using that as an excuse to do what he'd done.

I might have snoozed there by the door. Now and then having to jerk myself awake when I'd start falling over. Eventually, I just gave up and laid down on my side. Too tired to stand, I fell asleep there on the floor.

I woke to the door opening beside me, looking up at Esme's deeply concerned gaze.

"You slept here the entire night?" She asked, kneeling to help me up. Numbly, I nodded, looking around at the lightening room. Signifying I'd reached morning. Maybe I was doing better. I let her take my hand, but that was quickly tossed as I pulled my hand back to myself the moment I was sitting on my bed.

"Jasper says you're not doing too well." She continued, sitting beside me, "Honey, please talk to me." I slowly leaned forward, hugging my stomach. I couldn't make myself say anything. Staying quiet, I struggled to keep my tears back. I was already so tired of crying. All I wanted was to be left alone.

"I know fighting with Zack couldn't have been easy on you." She murmured, attempting to pull me into a hug. I pulled back, scooting back until I reached the pillows. I laid to the side, curling a pillow to myself. Her eyes following my every movement, I hoped desperately that she wasn't piecing anything together. I just didn't have it in me yet to pull off pretending everything was fine. I was trying so hard, but it wasn't working. Not when I hated being handled in anyway, and definitely not when shame kept my eyes on the floor.

"It was more than that." She told me quietly, understanding in her voice.

"I just need a day." I sniffled, burying my face into my pillow. My head ached horribly, and I just wanted to rest.

"If you could see yourself, honey, you'd know that you're not fooling anyone."

"Alright." I jumped, looking to the door at Emmett's angry voice as he came striding in, "What did that fucker do to you?" Jasper followed him in, and I just buried my face further into the pillow. Trying so hard to stay in one piece.

"Emmett." Esme scolded tightly, knowing his tone was only putting me more on edge. She wouldn't be wrong about that.

"Look at her." He said incredulously, "She hasn't even looked at us since she's been home."

"You're not helping her by demanding things, Emmett." Carlisle stood back by the door, taking in my curled position, "Leandra, please. Say something."

"I'm fine." I muttered, "I'm _fine_. Please just leave me alone. That's all I want."

"You're not fine." Jasper argued, "You are farthest from fine you could ever be."

"I mean I'll _be_ fine." I cried, "I will be. I just need some time."

"What did Ken do?" Emmett demanded again, and this time, I had to look up.

"Ken?" I asked, and they waited.

"Yes." He continued when I didn't say anything more, "What did he do? What did he say to you to make you act like this?"

I suddenly saw a way out of this. I could blame it all on Ken, without them continuing to demand answers. I pushed myself up, sniffling quietly.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "It was.." I paused. I had to think, but I couldn't take too long, "You know. The normal stuff. Blaming me for absolutely everything that happened." I had to make it more believable. I had to cry to get out of trouble, "It just.. It's too much. I can't take all the blame myself."

I released just a little more of the emotion, knowing they saw every tear. The pain was real in itself, but I had to fib a _lot_ on the cause.

"I didn't mean for any of it to happen." I whimpered, my voice breaking, "Not the way that it did. And it _is_ all my fault. If I'd just been smarter, if I never would have opened that damn door, all of this could be different. Why was I so stupid?"

"Oh, honey." There it was. The obvious sign that it'd worked, "No. It wasn't your fault. None of it was your fault."

I still couldn't look at them. Not any of them, and I still couldn't accept any comforting hugs or touches from any of them, but if I did this right, I could get away with not having to tell them anything about what Zack did to me.

Throughout the day, we managed to keep both Emmett and Mikah from going over there to beat Ken into a bloody mess, and that helped. As much as I wanted to see that happen, I didn't want it to be because of a lie I told.

I was paranoid enough to sit out in the living room, staring numbly at the TV for the rest of the day. Waiting for the moment when Edward would come by and give everything away. I waited all day, time passing painfully slowly. Thankfully, he never did.

There were a few nerve-wracking moments, however. As I had to sit there, and let Carlisle stitch up my skin once again. He insisted. I just gave him my wrist, averted my eyes and waited for it all to be over.

Esme attempted to get me to eat, but I knew the moment I ate anything at all, it would come right back up. I wasn't up to throwing up, so I decided to skip it. Mikah didn't appreciate that, and insisted they do everything they could to make me eat, considering it was now day five without eating, but they wouldn't. Thankfully.

Carlisle tried sitting me down alone, and he tried to convince me that I couldn't keep refusing to eat, but I wasn't really listening. I was watching the door and waiting for Edward.

It wasn't Edward that gave me away, though. I just couldn't keep it up.

Mikah hovered uncomfortably close that evening, watching me with worry in his eyes. Emmett eventually said something to him about getting Carlisle, because I sat there trembling. I couldn't help it. Something about the cold, hollow feeling I felt made me tremble, trying to warm myself up and join the living once more. The only thing I noticed, though, is how much it grew the longer I tried to hide it.

"Just stop!" I shouted at the third suggestion, but kept my eyes on the couch, "Not every little thing is going to kill me!"

"Okay, Miss Timebomb." Emmett muttered reaching over and grabbing my arm, "Come here." That was the last time I could get away with snapping that harshly at them without them doing something about it. That was a regular occurrence since nine that morning.

He tugged me along the couch until I got to his side, but the moment I stopped moving, I started fighting. He was just trying to sit me there like he'd done so, so many times before, but tonight, I had no tolerance for it.

"Shorty." He was trying so hard to understand but keep me there at the same time, "Calm down. Come on." I had almost no energy left, so I just stopped, falling back against the couch and sobbing. I was so tired, so tightly wound that it didn't take much for a world-class breakdown. It had been building throughout the day, and I was just so, _so_ exhausted. Emmett, watching the whole thing, glanced to Mikah briefly before trying to place his arm around me, but I shoved out from under it, and crawled away.

Emmett was on his feet the moment I settled back to the couch, curling into a slight upright ball.

"Don't worry." He told me firmly, "I'll find that bastard, and put him out of his misery."

"No." I mumbled, trying to stop the sobs and squeezing my eyes shut, "Don't do that."

"_That's_ not caused by blame, Leandra." Emmett growled, "He did something to you, and it's my job to make him pay dearly for it."

"Don't." I cried this time, "Emmett, please. Don't."

"Now you're sticking up for him?" He demanded, "Leandra, Ken is one sorry excuse for a human being. He has no business living."

"He didn't do anything." I admitted, having to pause to breathe, "He didn't."

"Stop lying for him." Emmett replied, "Stop it." I opened my eyes briefly as I felt someone sit beside me. Esme looked at me sadly, reaching out to comfortingly stroke my hair but I moved. The room had become inhabited, and Mikah stood closer to me now, watching me closely. Even he attempted to stroke my hair, but I moved away sharply.

"Stop touching me!" My patience had snapped, and I gripped my hair in my fingers, lowering my forehead onto my knees.

"That." Jasper moved around so he could see me evenly, "That's what makes us know he did more than blame you, Leandra. What did he do to you?"

"I don't-"

"Out with it." It was Rosalie's turn to demand things now. I just squeezed my eyes shut tighter now. The more I snapped, the worse it hurt.

"Please."

"Enough." I looked up at Carlisle's voice, looking back down instantly, "Emmett, sit down. You won't do anything to anyone. Not tonight." That eased me ever-so-slightly, "We're not going to form a mob and hunt anyone down." I gave a handful of left-over sobs, but otherwise started to calm down, "Not until we know for sure what happened."

"I think it's pretty clear." Rosalie growled, already wringing her hands.

"I'm done." I muttered, "I can't take it. I'll eat when I want to, I'll sleep when and where I want to, and I'll fucking say something when I fucking want to!" I threw myself up off the couch, "It's my choice. Not anyone else's!" I turned, heading for the hallway.

"Leandra." Carlisle called after me, "Stop." I kept going until he was suddenly in front of me, and I felt the edge of my will to lie coming closer. Ever closer. I stopped, and I went to move around him, but he caught me gently.

I did my best to shove away, but he kept moving to block my way until I just broke. My sobs broke free, and this time, I didn't even try to stop them as I felt the last of my energy leave me. My knees refused to hold me anymore, and he caught me easily before I could fall. Letting me kneel on the floor, but kneeling with me. I couldn't help it anymore.

The things I did to keep my family in my life, I wasn't about to let something someone I used to care so much about said take them away from me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding tightly and trembling harder than I had all day when he returned the embrace. Lightly, not holding tightly, but comforting me the best he could.

I felt him look to Esme on the couch, but he never said a word.

"I'm sorry." I cried when I could breathe after a moment of silence in the room, "I'm so sorry. I tried to hide it. I did. I'm just not used to feeling like this. It hurts so much, and I don't even know why."

"What happened?" Alice asked gently, "We're not blaming you for anything, Leandra. We just want to know what happened to make you act this way."

"It wasn't Ken." I sniffled, shaking my head, "I know why you would think so, but it wasn't him this time." I finally let go of Carlisle, pulling back and slowly turning to look at all of those watching me. Shame highlighted my cheeks as I finally let myself look around. However brief that look was, I only saw concern.

"It wasn't Ken." I said again, hanging my head.

"_What_ wasn't Ken?" Jasper asked, and I closed my eyes. Doing my best to steel myself. The tone of his voice bordered anger, and as much as I knew it wasn't directed at me, it shut me up.

"Jasper." Carlisle's calm voice quieted him down, "Give her a moment, please."

"It wasn't Ken that.." I struggled, still unable to form the words. I looked to Carlisle desperately, shaking my head, "I can't.."

"Who was it?" Emmett asked, his tone a forced calm. Forced calm or not, it helped, "Maybe telling us that will help."

"Zack." I murmured, and I tried to ignore the shocked intakes of breath around me, "I don't.. Know how to.."

"What else did he do, Leandra?" Rosalie asked flatly, and I almost heard the thinning of her calm.

This was going to be impossible. I already knew the blame was going to fall squarely on me like before. I really didn't want her to hit me for being so stupid. I really didn't want Mikah to get protective of me, and have us wind up right back to where we started, so I stayed quiet.

I was free to decide what I did in life, but I wasn't free from the consequences of those decisions. I was free to tell them what happened, but I wasn't free from what would happen as a result.

"Nothing." I mumbled quietly after a minute.

**A/N: Feel free to smack me. I know I deserve it.  
THANK YOU to those that reviewed last chapter. I got two for it. :)  
I hope to read what you all have to say about this one. Hopefully good, but I'll take the bad too lol  
****RL is still bad, but this is my escape, as weird as that sounds. I appreciate your thoughts more than you know.  
Chapter eight will be a little while, I think.  
Until eight, my friends. (:**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Nothing?" Rose asked, "That wasn't nothing."

"Why does it even matter so much?" I asked quietly through my tears, "Why do you even care? I know why the others care, but why do you? You've hated me since you met me."

"I don't hate you." She replied evenly, "You'd know if I hated you. And I care, because it matters. It matters to all of us."

The others were quiet now, letting Rosalie and I talk. We hadn't started shouting yet, which I guess was a good sign.

"But it doesn't." I argued, "It doesn't matter whether something happened or not." I shook my head, looking down at my hands, "It doesn't matter."

"Tell me." She said, and I sighed, keeping my eyes on the floor. How was I supposed to tell them, when the exact same thing had almost happened just a short time ago, and it'd been my fault then? I knew what would happen. She'd automatically blame me, and I really didn't want to hurt them that way. They already suspected, though. Now it was up to me to squash that suspicion. The best I could.

"There's nothing to tell." My voice was so quiet, I hardly heard it. The words made my stomach tumble in the worst way. I hated it.

"Yes, there is!" So much for not shouting. I flinched at the heat of her words, closing my eyes. For once, she'd started yelling before I had, "How can you say it doesn't matter when it's obviously killing you? Have you even seen yourself?" I had. I hadn't noticed that much of a change. I was so shaken, I suddenly forgot how to yell back. I'd lost it, that trait I'd always had.

Now I was just some pitiful little pile of shamed nothing on the floor. Glancing up at her, I met her eyes and instantly, her expression softened. Like she recognized something there. something that told her exactly how I was feeling. Like she suddenly had both Edward and Jasper's gift at once.

I couldn't keep her gaze, looking down.

"Have you seen yourself?" She asked again, "Have you even looked?"

"I don't care." I sniffled, forcing myself to stand weakly, "I'm going to bed." I didn't want to stay around if it meant getting yelled at, or risking them finding out. If I couldn't hide it, the only thing I could possibly do was run. Hide. It was hard enough to keep myself from falling to pieces yet again without her yelling at me.

Her heavy sigh told me she was done demanding for now.

"Leandra, you have to eat something." Carlisle spoke up, standing beside me easily, "Five days is entirely too long to go without."

"I've survived a lot longer." I reminded him, "I had some water earlier. I'll be fine."

"Leandra." He shook his head, but I turned away anyway. I just turned away.

I made it to my room, and I laid slowly on my bed. Rolling to my side, I curled a pillow to myself, holding tight to that. I never bothered to turn on the light, but laid there in the dark. Blinking slow tears from my eyes as I watched the window. Rain slowly crawled down the dimly lit pane, mimicking my tears.

This had definitely been a very emotional few weeks, and I was tired of it. So tired. I listened to their voices continuing to talk out in the living room, but I didn't care. I wondered heavily if I'd finally reached my limit. How something as stupid as what Zack did to me could finally break me, was beyond me. It wasn't the end of the world, but to me, it was.

I was safe in my bed, but I wasn't there. I was remembering all I'd thought I'd forgotten. Everything I didn't think at first I remembered. Now and then, I still shook. Trembling lightly with the depth of the cold I felt emotionally. It was a painful one, this emotion, and one I knew I couldn't fight alone. It turned, twisted my stomach until I had no choice but to acknowledge it.

I never expected it, and I never saw it coming. It hurt. So badly.

All I knew, was that I was now at the point where anything else could happen, and I'd just let it happen. I was so tired of being strong, of trying to hide, of running into things that constantly tried to tear those things away from me. No matter what I did, it was never enough, so why bother anymore?

I wanted to be done.

I heard the door open, but I didn't bother to look. I doubt I could have seen who it was anyway, so I just stayed there. Maybe adjusted my leg's position a little, but that was it.

"I've watched you since you were twelve years old." It was Mikah, "I've watched you grow. I've seen how you acted with your friends, and I've seen how you acted alone. I've watched you laughing, and I've watched you calm. And never, in all this time, have I ever seen you this defeated. As much as I want to thoroughly destroy the boy that did this to you, I won't."

"Why not?" I sniffled into my pillow.

"Because comforting you is much more important than seeking revenge for your pain." I felt the bed dip behind me, and I couldn't help finding it a little funny that he sat now, "I realize that I'm not very good at these human emotions, and though there are parts to human behavior I don't yet understand, I want you to know that I'm trying."

"I know." I mumbled quietly, "Thank you."

"You know what they say." He murmured, and I felt the bed shift behind me. I assumed he laid down behind me, sighing quietly.

"What do they say?" I asked, only mildly curious.

"We lopen. We vallen. We leren, we falen, we staan." I didn't recognize a thing about the languange he spoke, but the tone of his voice was comforting, "It means we walk. We fall. We learn, we fail, we stand." We laid there in silence for a minute or two, until I finally moved. I rolled over to face him, looking up at him. He looked down at me as he laid on his back. Sadly taking in my curled position, insecure beside him.

"What else do they say?" I asked, and I could just make out him smile a little.

"We dansen, we lachen, ontluiken. Verwonderen. We hopen. We bidden, verlaten, vergaan." His voice was quieter now, and I just listened, "That means we dance, we laugh, bloom. Amaze. We hope. We pray, leave, pass. Everything in life is meant to teach you something if you only look hard enough, princess. Even the dark moments. Things that cause you pain."

He paused, watching as I slowly reached over and took his hand in both of mine.

"What language was that?" I asked, curious now.

"Dutch." He said, "I picked it up from an old friend of mine. Since I've known him, his positive outlook on life has been something to look forward to when we run into each other." He let his hand lay still, unmoving in mine.

"We sail the seas of life and believe," He murmured quietly, "The storms will lead us home. These open roads will call us with the promise. We walk the Earth alone."

"That's depressing." I muttered, not looking up at him.

"This dream is a universe, and every soul shines where the darkness turns into light." His voice really was calming. Quiet, and soft. I'd known he could make it almost a purr, but this was better. I hadn't heard this before. When I could focus on that, I wasn't scared anymore. I didn't feel quite as alone as I had before.

"They say," He continued, "To let life's challenges make you stronger. That's all this is. This isn't something meant to destroy you. Look at it as an opportunity to find even more strength in yourself."

"I'm tired." I mumbled, "I'm so tired."

"So get some sleep."

"Not like that." I replied, "I wish that's all it was. It's.. It's like.. I feel like I've been alive way too long. Longer than I should be."

"That tired." He sighed, understanding in his voice, "Leandra, you can't just lay down and quit. I'm sorry, but I won't let you. I know for a solid fact that your family won't let you do that either. Resting is one thing. It's alright to take a break, but you won't give up."

"How can you be so sure?" I asked, looking up at him. He returned the gaze and smiled a little.

"Because you're not like that." He replied, "I know you too well. You'll be alright."

"I'm not so sure." I mumbled, slowly smoothing my hands over his, "Man, if Josh was around, he'd beat the hell out of Zack himself." That thought alone was very saddening.

"Why do you say that?" He asked quietly.

"Because Josh was pretty protective of me himself." I answered, "The one time he wasn't thinking, he had to die."

"Die?" Mikah asked, surprised.

"Isn't that what he did?" I asked, sniffling. Silently noting how much bigger his hand was than mine. Three years really did make a difference.

"No." He said, sitting up, "Leandra, I didn't kill him." That shocked me into sitting up as well, reaching over and turning on the light, "You think I killed the boy?" I readjusted how I sat now cross-legged, facing where he sat against the pillows.

"Then what happened?" I asked, listening intently. Frowning, wishing I could understand. Should I bother to get my hopes up?

"I went back for the boy." He said frowning, "I meant to bring him back, but he was too hurt to do so safely. So I did the only thing I could think of." I understood suddenly. Once it finally clicked, I gave a sobbing laugh.

"You turned him?" I asked breathlessly.

"I knew it would be unthinkable to take him from you forever." He said quietly, "Leandra, he's in Volterra. Waiting for you." I had to smile. There was no avoiding that, "Aro promised to give him a place there for as long as it took, because he also knew how much the boy meant to you. You've been thinking this whole time that I killed him?"

"You weren't kidding when you said I didn't understand." I mumbled, laughing once.

"No." He said, placing his hand in mine again, "I wasn't. That's what I was trying to tell you that day, but you wouldn't listen."

"You saved his life." I muttered in understanding, "I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you."

"He'd been beaten." Mikah said, looking down, "And I found him amongst the rocks away from the group. I didn't find the culprit, but I promise. He's there now, and he's perfectly fine."

"When can I see him?" I asked, looking up at him as I drew slow patterns on the palm of his hand with my finger.

"It's going to be some time." He replied, "He'll need all the time he's got to learn how to control himself before you see him as a human."

I couldn't describe the relief I felt.

"Does that soothe you?" He asked quietly, nodding toward our hands. I nodded in reply, taking a deep, sighing breath. We were quiet for a moment, neither of us speaking. The gratitude I felt for Mikah grew ten fold as I gave myself a chance to focus on what he'd just told me.

He hadn't killed the best friend I'd had. He'd saved him. Josh wouldn't be the same, I knew that, but he was alive. He was just fine, and not dead somewhere.

"Can you tell me what happened now?" Mikah seemed hesitant to ask, and I knew why. I paused in my drawing, my smile fading almost instantly.

I had to give him something. But in doing so, I'd be giving everyone else the information I'd tried to hide. What was the use, I reasoned, when they already knew something was so very wrong?

"You have to promise me something first." I mumbled after a minute.

"I'm listening." He replied calmly.

"You can't do anything about it." I said, "Killing him won't solve anything, and it's not his fault."

"It honestly really depends on what else he did." He admitted, "Leandra, these bruises-"

"Aren't all he did." I squeezed my eyes shut, holding tighter to his hand as he went silent, "He did more than hit me. Mikah, he.." I trailed off, sighing. It was so hard to keep talking, "Jasper, I could use your help. I know you're all listening." Instantly, I felt a little braver. Calmer, and it was easier to speak. To breathe.

"We fought." I mumbled, focusing on Mikah's hand, "Well, I didn't get much chance to fight back. I was way too surprised, but.. The second I got there, he told me that Ken had told him everything. How it was all my fault, and he demanded to know the truth." My voice trembled the further I got into my story. I couldn't stop that any more than I could stop breathing.

"I told him what I could," I continued, "But then he moved the conversation to a more personal spot. He.." I sighed again, closing my eyes now. My blush returning suddenly, "He wanted to know if I'd had sex with Josh. I told him no, but he really didn't believe me."

I had to take a few minutes to straighten out my thoughts. I decided to leave most of the other stuff out of it for now, and just get to the point. That was my limit for right then.

"After a few more.. Insults, he asked me if I'd let him.." I trailed off, unable to make myself say it. Glancing up, I knew Mikah understood, "I said no. I told him I really didn't want to, but there was nothing I could do.." I paused, swallowing in nervousness, "He did it anyway."

I flinched at the sound of a rather loud thud up the hall in the living room. Emmett must have punched something. I gave a whimper as the flinch rolled through me, squeezing my eyes shut. I felt like explaining, before I got into even more trouble.

"I was pinned to the floor, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get loose." My weak, pain-filled voice shook, "I couldn't.. Fight back. He had my hands, and he was laying on me, and I just.. Couldn't. Anytime I wiggled, it just helped him."

I could faintly hear the arguing, and hoped it was them trying to keep Emmett from killing him.

I hadn't realized how heavy my voice had gotten, or the tears that just flowed from behind my closed eyes, "I tried. I swear, I tried, but.. I know I was stupid, and I know I should have done more. I'm so sorry. I tried. I did everything I could think of. I tried. I tried." I was rambling by then, the words coming faster until I finally sobbed again, and Mikah's hand turned in mine, pulling me up into a hug. I accepted it this time, letting him hold me.

It should have surprised me that he hugged me. He'd never hugged me before. Perhaps he really was learning. I returned the hug after a moment, crying against his shoulder.

He held me that way for several minutes, just letting me cry. I was so tired by then, though, I didn't have much left to give.

"I'm so sorry." I mumbled into his shirt, staring pleadingly at the wall behind my bed. I couldn't look at the audience I knew stood in the doorway. I couldn't. I wanted to keep crying, but I truly didn't have any left.

"If you ever apologize again, I will smack you myself." I didn't look. I didn't turn at Rose's quiet voice by the door, "Leandra, what happened was _not_ your fault."

"I know I should have done more." I mumbled, feeling myself calming again after that surge of emotion, "I should have tried harder. I should never have even gone. What is wrong with me?"

"Not a damn thing is wrong with you." Emmett's voice was a relief to hear. It meant he wasn't off killing Zack.

"There has to be something wrong with me, because I still think it's not his fault." I still couldn't look at them, "It's not."

"Look at yourself, shorty." Emmett murmured, quieter now, "How is this not his fault?"

"That's not even all." I sniffled, pulling back and kneeling beside Mikah on the bed.

"There's _more_?" Emmett demanded, and I bit my lip lightly. I ran my palms over my pajama pants nervously. Trying to get a better hold of myself. I knew if I didn't admit it all, it would never come out.

"It was something he told me." I mumbled, wiping tears from my cheeks, "What he said to me."

They continued to wait, and to my deep appreciation, Jasper helped me even more with my emotions. Soothing me, not quite to the point of numbness, but close. I was able to tell them what all he said to me. Including what he said about the family. That was the hardest part to admit, embarrassment burning in my cheeks as my eyes stayed on my knees in front of me.

"You've got to be kidding me." Emmett's voice was a flat kind of angry, and I glanced up, shaking my head as I looked back down.

"That certainly explains a few things." Carlisle sighed, "Leandra, you know he's wrong."

"I know that." I mumbled, nodding slowly as I began smoothing my pajama pants over my knee, "But the way he said it.. I didn't think it bothered me so much, because I _do_ know he was wrong, and it didn't at first. Now I'm just a mess, and I don't even know why." I had to look to Esme now, "Why would he say that? I couldn't even deny it. I couldn't even tell him he was wrong."

"Why not?" Jasper frowned, and I sniffled.

"He had my mouth covered so tight, I couldn't speak." I admitted, "It's not fair."

"Well, hey. If we're going to start doing that, I call dibs." Emmett's tone told me he was only trying to prove how stupid Zack was. I knew that immediately, and I couldn't help the small smile. It _was_ a little funny, "Shorty, you know how wrong he was for saying that to you. And to be honest, I _do_ want to pound his head in for what he did to you, but I won't. No promises Rosalie won't, but I won't, because for whatever reason, that'll bother you."

I couldn't answer that, because I didn't even know why. I should hate him. I should not want anything more to do with him, but he'd been my friend for so long. This was so different from anything else.

"I don't even know why I feel like this." I was so quiet now, and I could feel the exhaustion tugging at the back of my mind. I desperately needed to sleep, but I wasn't done trying to figure everything out.

"He didn't hurt me that bad, but it hurts. So much."

"I'd be amazed if you didn't feel this bad." I looked up at Carlisle, finally meeting his eyes since admitting everything he'd told me, "Leandra, the answer to that should be obvious. One, he was one of your best friends. Zack was someone you trusted most, with anything and everything. He used to be one of the ones you'd trust with your life. That trust was destroyed, and it only reenforced your belief that nobody can be trusted. That hurts."

"Right before doing so," He continued, slowly stepping forward, "He hurt you both physically, and emotionally. He turned your past against you so viciously, and blamed you for something that happened to you as a child. As a child, Leandra, nothing like that should ever happen to you."

He paused, watching my struggle to keep my tears back, "In turning your past around on you, he also hurt you here. In the family. You knew it was wrong, and you tried to defend yourself, but you were unable to. Now you feel ashamed, and let me be the first to tell you that you should never feel ashamed for something that was so far beyond your control. It's not your fault, Leandra."

"I know that." I sniffled, "But I can't help wondering if I could have fought harder. Done more somehow. I feel so.. Bad. I didn't mean to do it, I swear. I couldn't stop it. I'm so sorry."

"She feels guilty." Jasper translated quietly.

"Why would you feel guilty?" Carlisle asked, "Leandra, what happened wasn't your choice." Either Jasper was doing more for me than I thought, or I was way too tired to cry anymore, but I couldn't.

"I promised not to get into trouble, or do anything wrong." I sighed, "That was wrong. I promised you, and now what do I do? I let you down, and I let everyone else down. I broke that promise, and I'm so sorry I did."

"Stop it." Rose growled beside Emmett.

"You have no reason to blame yourself, Leandra." Carlisle reminded me quietly.

"Yes I do." I mumbled before he even finished saying that. I knew before what it was like to grow up with that sort of pain, but this was different. I knew why it was different now, because I'd trusted Zack first, but now it impacted me so much worse than it had as a kid.

I never expected something like what he'd done to impact me so hard.

"You did everything you could." Carlisle continued, "Nobody here blames you. Nobody in their right mind would blame you for what happened."

"I blame me." I pointed out, looking up.

"In their right mind means just what it sounds like, Leandra." Jasper muttered from the side, "Right now, you're not in your right mind. You're not thinking the way you normally think." That made sense, "Something like this messes with a person so harshly, it'll take a long while to recover from."

"I wish you would have told us sooner," Carlisle told me, "But I can understand why you didn't."

"I'm sorry for that, too." I replied, "I told him I wouldn't."

"Wait, what?" Emmett asked.

"He asked me not to tell, and I said I wouldn't." I explained, and it was silent for a few moments. The silence giving me a chance to calm down even more, to remember how to breathe more normally.

To be honest with myself, I did feel better by telling them. It made me feel better to explain my side of the story, and to know that they didn't blame me. If I'd have known they wouldn't blame me, I probably would have told them sooner. Just so I didn't have to spend the day in agony.

"I'm sorry." I said, and Rosalie growled, "For crying so much. For not telling you before. I was worried that Rose would blame me like before."

"Can you honestly not see the difference?" She asked, irritated.

"What's the difference?" I had to ask. My mind was fogged by exhaustion, and nothing was really registering to me.

"Leandra, last time, you chose to put yourself into that situation." She explained tightly, "You chose to let yourself be taken advantage of, and you would have been, had Mikah not saved your dumb ass." I looked to Mikah briefly. I was beginning to understand now.

"What happened yesterday was not your choice." She continued, "You went there to comfort your friend. That's it. You didn't choose it, and you had no idea what was going through his mind."

"I should have fought harder." I shook my head, looking down.

"Guaranteed, you couldn't." Jasper murmured, "I know how much fight you have in you, and I know for a fact you did everything you could."

"I would have gotten free." I allowed quietly, "But he hit my head. Against the floor. I was only half conscious after that."

"You kept consciousness?" Carlisle asked, and I hesitated.

"It's a little hazy." I finally said, "I only remember parts. I've had a headache all day."

"That could be caused by your emotions as well," He replied, nodding a little, "Or by how traumatic the experience for you, but just in case, I want to check to make sure it's safe for you to sleep. Nothing went wrong last night, but I want to be sure." I nodded, having expected that, "I'm also concerned about the slight possibility of pregnancy."

There went my breath.

"Oh god." I whimpered, covering my face. I hadn't even thought about that. Had I had anything on my stomach, it would have come up. I brought my legs up, knotting my fingers in my hair briefly. I must have gone white, because Mikah sat closer to me. Concerned.

My stupid ass must have expected it to all be over. This could have just been the very beginning.

"It's highly unlikely," Carlisle assured me before I could panic too much, "But I'd like to be on the lookout anyway." That helped. He said it was unlikely. He knew what he was talking about, right? He had to know.

"Breathe, Leandra." Alice reminded me, and I took a shaky breath. I realized I hadn't taken a breath since Carlisle had brought it up.

Carlisle sighed, frowning, "I don't have everything I'll need here to do the exam, so-"

"Exam?" I asked, breathless again, "No thanks."

"It's very fast, and it's easy." He assured me again, "It's only to make sure you're alright, and to take evidence." I recognized that word.

"Definitely no." I said, "I won't go through that. I just want it to be done, and over with."

"What do you expect us to do, shorty?" Emmett asked incredulously, "Let him get away with it?"

"Yes." I replied simply, "I don't want to deal with any of that. All I want is to just go to sleep, and pretend it never happened. Can't I do that?"

Carlisle sighed, looking to Esme.

"Alright." He finally said, "Compromise. At very least, let me make sure you're okay. That's what matters most."

"I'm fine." I said immediately, "It barely hurts anymore." He gave me a look, but I turned my expression pleading.

"I really don't know about letting him get away with it." Jasper commented, "Him having to face no consequences for what he's done?"

The room cleared not long later, but Carlisle stayed. Mikah stayed as well, but was as silent as if he weren't even there.

It didn't take long for Carlisle to decide that it was safe for me to sleep. He checked my eyes, and the sides of my neck. Pressing along the back of my head, around the slight bump I had there, before letting me know that it was nothing serious. That was as far as I was willing to let him look me over, and he knew that. He didn't try to pressure me, but I knew it wasn't over. The sadness in his eyes told me that.

I hated that he had to feel bad for me. He shouldn't have had to. That's what bothered me most right then. Remembering what happened, however hazily I did, wasn't what bothered me. What Zack told me about them, about Jack wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was the fact that by hurting me, he also hurt them.

Carlisle had known me since I was just some scrawny little kid, trying to find a place where I was comfortable enough to heal from everything Jack did to me. To know that I was suffering again at the hands of Jack's nephew hurt him. A lot.

I learned that just by looking up at him standing beside where I sat on the side of the bed. He wasn't ashamed of me, he wasn't disappointed in me. He wasn't disgusted, or embarrassed by me. He was understanding, but hating the situation all the same.

I leaned forward, and hugged him. My arms around his waist, as he was standing while I sat, but he returned the embrace immediately.

"I'm sorry, dad." I mumbled, closing my eyes.

"Please never apologize for this." He replied quietly.

"I can't help it." I countered, "I never meant to hurt anybody. And I'm sorry. For not agreeing to an exam." He sighed.

"It'll be alright, Leandra." He assured me, "I promise. I'll make it right somehow." He held me like that for a few minutes, and I didn't mind in the least. Carlisle always gave the most comforting hugs. Until I got too tired to hang on anymore, and pulled back. The sadness in his eyes was gone now, but I suspected he'd hidden it from me.

"Get some rest, Leandra." Carlisle told me, and I sighed, nodding. Mikah went to get up as Carlisle turned for the door, but I caught his hand. He looked at me, surprised.

"Can you stay?" I asked quietly, "I know it's stupid, but.. Please?" Mikah glanced to Carlisle who'd paused as well, unsure for a moment.

"Of course." Mikah said after a moment of surprise, "I can stay." He sat back down, and placed his hand back in mine as Carlisle left. Closing the door behind himself, and I turned off the light.

I laid on my side, facing where he sat now and continuing to draw slow patterns on his palm with my fingertips. The patterns I drew got slower the closer I got to sleep, until they eventually stopped. Once they stopped, I was out cold.

I was woken up near dawn by Carlisle. He gave me a single, small pill, and some water, which I only took so I could get back to sleep. I didn't ask questions, or hesitate. Mikah was still there, so I didn't have to wonder.

I woke up again around ten, and forced myself out of bed. My head ached, but that was nothing new. I noticed immediately that Mikah was nowhere to be found. I walked out slowly, almost wanting to feel awkward, but I knew it was stupid to do so.

The living room was nearly deserted, but Esme sat on the couch, reading. Looking up once I entered the room.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, "Any better?"

"Better." I answered quietly, "I'm feeling okay. A little queasy, but it's nothing major. I knew I just needed sleep." I looked around, "Where is everybody?" Esme smiled.

"Carlisle is upstairs on the phone. Alice is with Rosalie. Rose was quite upset with you last night, dear. You know you shouldn't try to lie, or hide anything like that." I nodded a little, looking down, "And your brothers decided one more hunt was necessary." She added, watching me sit beside her.

"I thought sure you guys would be so sick of hunting." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes tiredly.

"It's not for them." She admitted, and I looked to her, confused.

"Then who's it for?" I asked, frowning. She waited, letting me figure it out on my own. Until I understood. I couldn't help smiling, "Mikah?" She nodded, laughing a little, "How'd you get him to agree to that?"

"He came out and asked himself, dear." She answered, "He's been considering it for quite awhile. After sitting with you long enough last night, he decided that he needed to learn how to hunt differently for the duration of the time he's here." Her tone turned teasingly skeptical, "For your own safety, of course." I laughed quietly, looking down, "I think he's quite taken with you."

"He's sixteen." I mumbled, laying back against the couch.

"And you're thirteen." She replied, "In a year and a half, it really won't matter." She had a point there.

"I've never asked you." I murmured, looking over at her, "How old were you when you were turned?"

"Twenty-six, honey." She answered, "So far, I'm the oldest one." She smiled, "In human years, that is." That surprised me.

"That's right." I mumbled, sitting forward again, "Carlisle was only twenty-three, but he's the oldest one otherwise, right?"

"That's right." She nodded a little, "We don't usually go by our human ages, or really any other ages. It's just something that doesn't mean that much to us. After the first couple of months, passed the newborn stage, it stops mattering."

"What do you think I'll be like when I'm turned?" I asked, looking up at her, "Emmett wants me to be a challenge. I guess that won't matter, though, because I won't be here." Her smile turned sad, and she sighed.

"You really shouldn't try to focus on that right now, darling." She told me, "You've been through too much lately."

"I can't help it." I muttered, "It's something I've always done. Giving each problem worry of their own. You remember."

"Leandra." I looked back, watching Carlisle descend the stairs, "You're awake." He seemed surprised that I was up. I nodded a little, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." I answered, "I'm still tired, though."

"I was wondering if maybe you'd reconsider." He said, stopping beside the couch, "About the exam." I instantly shook my head, looking down.

"I'm fine." I said, "I don't need it."

"You know I'd make it as least uncomfortable as possible for you." He added.

"I know." I replied honestly, "I know. I just.. I don't want to. I already know I'm okay."

"But I don't know that for sure." He reasoned, "I'd feel much better if you let me look you over." I sighed, looking back down. I knew the only reason he pressured was because he worried about me. How was I supposed to prove I knew what I was talking about?

"Fine." I mumbled, "I'll do it, but you'll see. I'm fine."

"You tend to hide a lot of things, Leandra." Esme pointed out as I stood up, "More than once, I've witnessed you downplay a lot of discomfort that could potentially mean something's wrong." Damn. She had me there. I looked down, sighing, "Would you like me to come with you?"

"Thanks for offering." I replied, "But I think I'll be okay. I kind of just want to get this over with."

I was taken to the hospital before I could change my mind. I allowed myself maybe thirty seconds to get dressed before I was in the car. Staring miserably out the window. I remembered clearly how something like this went, having gone through it before.

The second I stepped in through the front doors, however, I tried to turn around. Carlisle caught me, sighing.

"I know how hard this is on you, but you have no reason to be nervous." He assured me quietly, "Everything will be alright."

It was the horribly humiliating, but I didn't trust any nurses with this task enough to risk it. It definitely helped that he told no one what we were here for, and assured me that this was only to make sure I was alright. I trusted him, and that was the only reason I allowed it to happen at all.

Thankfully, it took him less than ten minutes, closer to five, and I could get up. Which I wasted no time in doing. I thought my blush would never fade as he told me he'd be waiting outside the room. It must not have been anything too bad, because he left the room. Allowing me to get dressed.

I tiredly prepared my 'I-told-you-so' speech as I pulled my sweater over my head once more.

I stepped out, crossing my arms over my stomach uncomfortably, to find him on the phone. Looking up the hall, I spotted someone I could really do without seeing. Zack stood at the counter, beside Mike who stood talking to the nurse there. My cheeks ignited, a deep blush warming my skin uncomfortably.

Zack looked like he felt the way I felt. Mildly annoyed that he had to be there. Looking around, bored. Any other time, seeing Zack would have been a welcome sight. I would have greeted him, thanked him for making a very uncomfortable visit just a little better by showing up. Any other time.

But seeing as how I was here because of something he'd done, I couldn't do much but step into Carlisle's side.

"Um.." I muttered flatly, "Um.." I couldn't form words, and the tone of my voice gained Carlisle's attention. He spotted them just as Mike took a clipboard from the nurse at the desk, and turned. Looking down at it as Zack's eyes found us. Carlisle took my shoulder in his hand, and moved me to his other side.

"Stay here." He told me quietly, and walked off toward them. As much as I didn't want to be around Zack, I didn't want to be standing there alone either. So I trailed after him, keeping my eyes on the shiny speckled tile floor. Glancing up now and then to make sure I would end up with Carlisle between Zack and I.

"Mike." Carlisle's firm voice gained Mike's attention, "Would you mind a word outside?"

"Well, we're actually here for a reason." Mike replied, looking to me pointedly, "Seems Zack here encountered a wild animal, and those scratches look pretty infected." I had to look. The scratching slap I'd given Zack had left two long deep red lines down his cheek, and a third broken one. A fourth was hardly visible, but definitely there. He smiled, though, the moment our eyes met. My breath caught in my throat, and I looked back down quickly.

I had to look up at Carlisle. Was this necessary?

"Let's just go home." I murmured, and he glanced to me, "Please."

"I must insist." Carlisle said to Mike, "I won't keep you long."

Mike sighed, but agreed. Following him up the hall. Now that Mike had agreed, Zack's expression went to one of mild curiosity, to one of slight worry. Carlisle was, of course, right. Mike deserved to know, but I wished this could have been done without me here.

I wasn't about to stand there without Carlisle, so I followed him, Zack following me. I gave a whimper, and sped up. Walking faster until I made it ahead of Carlisle.

Out in the parking lot, Carlisle and Mike faced each other. Me standing behind Carlisle's left side, and Zack behind Mike's left.

"I can tell you exactly how your son got those scratches." Carlisle started, "And I can tell you that I'm not happy about it."

"Yeah, she hit him." Mike replied, "The worst she got were bruises."

Zack seemed nervous now, and almost as uncomfortable as I was. We looked across, meeting each other's eyes. It was the hardest thing to see him standing there and not being able to be happy about it.

"Right?" Mike asked, not sounding so sure anymore. I looked to him, and his eyes studied me a little, "That's the worst of it, right?" His voice no longer accusing. No longer seeming so sure. I looked up at Carlisle, not sure how to answer him, "Leandra?"

"You told?" Zack asked me sharply, and I glanced to him again, my cheeks reigniting. I couldn't say anything in my defense if I wanted to. I took a small step back, seconds from tears unless someone took his attention from me, "You're such a baby! A fucking daddy's-girl." I closed my eyes in shame, feeling as bad as Zack was trying to make me feel. What he intended to do was working.

"Yes, she told." Carlisle answered him, shutting him up effectively, "She did nothing wrong by doing so, and I'm here to tell you to stay away from my daughter." Carlisle could really be intimidating without even trying. I fought the emotion as Carlisle reached over, placing his arm around my shoulders. Letting me know he hadn't forgotten about what else Zack had just said, but that it was alright. Two tears escaped, dropping and sliding slowly down my cheek. I wiped them away quickly, wishing I felt less nausea.

"I won't threaten you," Carlisle continued to Zack, "But I will honestly tell you that this will be your only warning. If you ever attempt to make her feel bad or guilty for speaking up to us again, I will be the first to correct that."

"What's this about?" Mike asked, surprised, "Zack, what did you do?" He doubted Zack now, which was a relief. I had fully expected Mike to be harder to convince. Zack also knew it.

He was in for it now, "Dad, I-"

"What did you do?" Mike was mad now, and I had to try to take a step back. I couldn't make myself repeat what had happened. It was Zack's turn to do so now.

"I didn't do anything." Zack mumbled defensively, "It was all her idea."

"Fucking liar." I couldn't help it, gaining both Carlisle and Mike's attention, "Tell the truth, Zack. Please don't make me have to tell him what you did."

"I swear." Zack continued as if I hadn't spoken, "She wanted it-"

"The truth." Carlisle's firm voice ended his lie right there, "I don't think that's too much for her to ask of you at this point." Zack went silent, obviously not knowing what to do. He knew, as well as I did, how much trouble he would get into for this.

Mike was the kind of guy that you didn't want to piss off, and if there was anything that pissed him off, it was when others were treated less than fairly. That was one of the things he wouldn't slide on. He was lenient, but I never wanted to see the point where that ended. I had a feeling I was about to.

Zack started speaking again.

"Well, okay.." He shrugged a little, his eyes on the ground, "So maybe she was a little against it, but-"

"Out with it." Mike spoke up now, probably getting the general idea. Given his expression, his patience with Zack was thinning. Quickly.

It took only a few minutes for the truth to come out, and when it did, the amount of anger in Mike's eyes as he looked at Zack surpassed anything I'd ever seen before. I waited, trembling gently, for Mike to say anything either way.

"No." He finally said, shaking his head, "No. That can't.." He trailed off, closing his eyes, "Zack, tell me you weren't that stupid." When Zack didn't say anything, that only confirmed it for him. Zack had been that stupid, and this was the result. Confronted in the parking lot of the hospital.

Taking Zack by the back of the neck, he glared down at him.

"I'll put a fucking stop to that right now." Mike growled, "Believe me, it'll be ten years before you even have a chance to look at another female that way. You hear me? That stops. I can't believe you!" Carlisle's hand found my shoulder again, letting me know he was there.

Mike looked to me, and I flinched a little, even though his expression softened considerably as he did so, "Don't you worry about a thing, Leandra. I am _so_ sorry. I know that's not enough. That's not near enough. I had no idea what went on in that room."

"It isn't your fault." I mumbled, my blush still coating my cheeks.

"I should have kicked the door in or something," He said, "But I never thought in a million years my own son would ever do something like that. That thought never even crossed my mind. When he said you were talking, I-I thought-"

"It's okay." I said, trying to ease his rambling, "I know you didn't know. I would have told you, but I couldn't."

"I have to ask." Mike said, "I think you deserve that, at least. What punishment do you think is good enough for him?" I looked to Zack, and he looked to me.

"Nothing." I mumbled, and that shocked Mike.

"Nothing?" He asked, and I looked up at him.

"It wasn't his fault." I said quietly.

"How was it not his fault?" He asked, still shocked, "He forced you to.. To.." He couldn't even say it.

"Look at his family." I said quietly, "There's Ken, who should be locked up for the rest of his life. Then there was Jack. He was a sadistic son of a bitch who loved to do nothing but torture me day in and day out, and learned to be that way from Ken. I think the only thing that should be done, is take him to a psychiatrist or something." That amazed him even further, and I glanced up at Carlisle to see his amazement as well, "Help him instead of punish him."

"You're serious?" Mike asked, and I nodded.

"Punishing him might just make him worse." I mumbled, looking down, "At least in my opinion."

"You're something, alright." Mike muttered, shaking his head, "You're being very understanding about this."

"I just really don't want to see him turn out like Jack." I explained, "That's not right to do to anyone. Just keep him away from Ken. At all costs."

Mike sighed, looking down at Zack, "Go wait in the car." Zack wasted no time, meeting my eyes briefly before turning and walking away. He knew as well as I did that I'd just gotten him out of a whole world of hurt, but I was still stuck in mine.

"How bad is it?" Mike asked, looking to Carlisle, "Is there any chance a kid could happen because of this? And she's not hurt, is she?"

"I've taken the preventative measure, and there was very little chance of conception anyway, given where she's at in her cycle." I about died of humiliation. Covering my burning face briefly.

I quickly thought of the fact, though, that Mike was just as much of an adult as Carlisle was. He knew how that stuff worked, as his wife had given him two children. It wasn't a secret to him that girls bled every month. That eased my humiliation quite a bit.

"Pregnancy is very unlikely, so I don't think we need to worry about that." Carlisle continued, neither of them seeming to notice my suddenly redder face. Mike sighed in relief, nodding a little. He was far from content, however.

"Physically," Carlisle looked to me, "She'll be fine. Some bruising, but otherwise, she's alright. Emotionally, however, she's pretty shaken up."

Mike sighed heavily, shaking his head, "I can't believe this. This is.. Unreal. I have to admit, I did expect to have this conversation with you. But I'd figured it would be about Josh, and they'd have been too stupid to use protection." He ran his hand through his hair, irritated, "But never about Zack, not this soon, and definitely not how this happened."

I chose to wait in the car as well after that. I climbed in, and locked the doors behind me. Only unlocking them for Carlisle as he got done talking with Mike. I chewed my bottom lip, trying to calm down as I waited. This was all becoming too much. I just wanted to stop. All I wanted, was to be left alone, and keep the friends I started out with. Now, the only one still around, was Andrew.

I was worried about what might happen to change that with him.

"Are you hungry, Leandra?" Carlisle asked as he got in, and slowly, I shook my head. To be honest I almost had been, until we ran into Mike and Zack. Now I only felt queasy again, and honestly questioned my ability to make the whole ride home without throwing up.

"Leandra, you're losing weight." He pointed out, "At some point, you're going to have to start eating again."

"I know that." I replied quietly, my gaze out the window.

"I should say at some point today." He clarified quietly, "I'm not waiting for it to get worse." His tone suggested he was more irritated than I thought. That surprised me, and I looked over, "So you'll be sitting down until you eat something. This has gone far enough, and I think I've been far too lenient on the subject."

How stubborn could I be? I was one of the most stubborn people I knew, and at first, this whole not eating thing wasn't about being stubborn. Now it was. Now I was being told I had no choice but to eat, and that became a problem for me.

I sat down willingly, but wouldn't touch the plate of food in front of me. Looking at him pointedly as he returned the expression. If there was one sure way to not get me to do something, it was to take the choice of whether or not I could away.

For example, if they wanted me to stay home, kick me out. If they wanted me to leave the house, ground me from leaving it. I would always do the opposite of what they told me to do.

If they wanted me to eat, ban me from doing it. If they didn't want me to eat, pressure me into eating. That's how it worked.

It became a battle of wills. All over a simple plate of food, and so far, I was holding strong. As evening began, I was still not any closer to eating than I had been when I sat down there early afternoon. I was bored out of my mind, but I wouldn't give in. Not to mention, though, that the seat was not the most comfortable in the world.

We were objects of fascination as Carlisle stood there, and I sat there. Staring each other down. He was calm, patient as ever, and despite how I tried, I couldn't return that. I was getting irritated.

"Leandra," Emmett said from directly behind me, startling me, "You're fighting a losing battle. Carlisle can outwait you by a thousand years."

"Don't underestimate me." I mumbled in response, "Eventually, I'm going to have to sleep."

"Not until you eat." Carlisle said, and for once, I started to grasp just how serious he was.

"I'll just sleep here." I shrugged a little, "I don't care."

"Go right ahead." He said, "But you're not moving from that seat until you eat." In defiance, I wiggled a little in the chair. Turning away. Emmett found that amusing, leaning against the wall to watch.

And I did just that. Moving the plate to the side, I laid my head down on the counter. I only managed a light snooze in that position however, which I really wasn't used to anymore. By the time I straightened back up, just after four in the morning, I'd gained more watchers. Jasper and Alice now joined Emmett, Mikah behind them.

Spending the night in a stiff chair wasn't anything I ever wanted to do again, but I would. I looked to Carlisle, just as much determination in my eyes as before.

"She won't last another night like that." Alice murmured to Mikah, "She has to give."

"I can hear you." I pointed out, looking their way.

"I know." She smiled innocently.

"You know, this isn't the way to get me to eat." I mumbled, deciding to finally throw Carlisle some sort of line, "This is the opposite of helpful."

"Something's got to be done." He replied, shaking his head, "You can't keep this up."

"Did you really expect this to work?" I had to ask, "You know me better than that. You'll be waiting an awfully long time."

"I can wait." He said, "I've got all the time in the world." I narrowed my eyes, turning away. I sighed,

"I have to go." I said, looking to him again, "I'll come right back."

He gave me a nod, and I hopped down, wincing at how sore sitting for so long had made me. I might have taken a little longer than necessary, just for a chance to stretch.

I came back out, though, yelling.

"I'm bleeding!" I had never been happier to see my period in my life. It was a couple of days early, but early was better than late, "Thank God!" Relief had tears streaming down my cheeks as I thumped my forehead against the wall lightly. This was usually something I hated, being caught off guard with it, but this time, it was a very pleasant surprise.

"I'm happy for you." Esme couldn't help laughing, giving me a hug.

I went back into the bathroom, to attempt to take two Tylenol for the cramping I had. It was a little strong this time around, but Esme stopped me. Her hand covered mine trying to open the bottle, and I looked up at her.

"Not until you eat first, honey." She said, and the way she said that had me sigh. The pleading note in her voice swayed me. I hated disappointing Esme. I hated disappointing everyone, but Esme most.

"It doesn't have to be a lot." She continued pleadingly, "You can have anything you want, but it has to be something. Just something on your stomach." I sighed again, looking forward again. Unfortunately, right into the eyes of my own reflection in the mirror. For the first time, I really saw how bad I looked. I'd seen, but this was the first time I really _saw_.

It was no wonder everyone was so concerned about me. I now saw why nobody believed me. I leaned closer, to get a better look, and touching the pale skin of my cheek lightly.

The bruises had faded a lot, but were clearly still there. The circles under my eyes shouted loudly how much sleep I'd lost, and I had yet to regain any true color in my cheeks. My eyes looked tired. So very tired.

I could only imagine how much worse I would have gotten had I had to continue worrying much longer. My own reflection was bad enough. Seeing me this way, so lifeless, broke my heart.

"I know, honey." She murmured, "I know. It's hard." I had to turn, to look away from myself and hug Esme. Searching for some sort of comfort. I'd been trying to be so strong, but seeing what the last few weeks had done to me scared me. It confused me. I hadn't even noticed how far I'd been slipping because of a broken heart. I thought the worst to be refusing to eat, but that wasn't the case. I hardly recognized myself. The one in the mirror.

She returned the embrace, providing the comfort I needed to admit to myself that I wasn't okay. I wasn't fine.

"You'll make it through this." Esme told me quietly, "You'll be okay, but for now, it's okay to not be okay." She was telling me to stop trying to hide it. To stop trying to sob so silently. I understood Carlisle's words to Zack now. I understood his unhappiness with him. He saw me, and he saw what this was doing to me.

I hugged her tighter, trembling in my effort now. I didn't have the energy to try any harder anymore. We stood there in the bathroom for several minutes, and she held me the entire time. Letting me cry myself out.

"You're still too young to be so grown up." She told me as I finally let go, pulling back and looking up at her. She reached up, clearing the tears from my cheeks, "You're loved here."

"I know." I sniffled, nodding.

"You're safe here, and you're supported." She reminded me, and again I nodded.

"I know." I repeated quietly, and she smiled.

"Then that's what matters." She murmured, "That you know these things."

I sniffled harder, nodding quickly. Taking a deep breath, I held it for a few seconds, and let it out. Nodding again, I looked back up at her.

"One step at a time." She told me, "That's the best we can do. The very first step now, is getting you to eat again. That's a requirement, honey. Carlisle isn't trying to be mean to you. He's just worried about you."

"I know." I said a third time, "I know. It's not his fault. It's just.. I don't like having to give in."

"It's not giving in." She said, "It's cooperating. With something you know you need."

"It doesn't matter to me what it is." I replied, "I just want one thing to be my choice. Just one thing."

"A week, honey?" She asked pleadingly, "A week without eating is going to make us worry."

"It takes three weeks to kill me." I reminded her, looking down.

"For someone in top health, it'd take three weeks." She clarified, and I realized I hadn't thought of that, "You're not in top health anymore."

She waited, watching me closely. I turned to the mirror again, meeting my own eyes again. How sick I looked took another meaning now. It meant I was dying. Slowly, and I still had so much more time, but I was. Clearly.

Was a broken heart worth dying over? Could I find what Mikah was talking about? Where the darkness turned into light. Was there even such a place?

Did I have it in me to make my soul shine like it was meant to the second I was born? Or would I let this one last bruising break me?

Shatter me like glass?

After a betrayal so violent, it was hard for me to even want to look for the light, but that's what was asked of me. Or at very least, eat something so I didn't die. All I had to do to save my own life was learn to bend.

Instead of standing as solid as steel against whatever was asked of me, which I realized caused much of the darkness I feared, I could bend a little. Give a little. There was no choice. Not on something like this.

"Alright." I mumbled, tearing my gaze away from myself in the mirror, "I'll do it."

So I did. I followed her back out, shame in my eyes.

"It's okay, honey." Esme told me as I sat back down, "Just whatever you can. One step at a time."

**A/N: A little sappy, but that's okay. Considering what last chapter held.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers. Your reviews made this chapter possible so quickly. Hug yourselves for me!  
My commentary on this chapter: Yes, she'd been through worse before, but this was so much worse for her this time around for two reasons. One, because she'd gotten used to never having to worry about that again. And.. Two, because it was _Zack_ that did it. What it was wasn't the major issue here. It was who did it that made all the difference. Someone who was supposed to be one of her best friends.  
Just my thoughts. :)  
****Oh, and three cheers for Mikah. He's amazing, isn't he? **  
**Chapter nine may take some time, and as far as I'm aware, I may make that one of the last chapters of this story. Ten may be the final in this story, and we'll get moving along onto 'Hunting for the Day - Re-Vamped'. Yes, I'm doing that one as well. *Kids cheer*  
Okay. A/N is long enough.  
Until nine, my beauties.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Sitting there with Emmett, it was oddly quiet in the house. Less than a week later, Mikah had to hunt again. A handful of the others volunteered to go along with him, just so he had some company. Mikah still wasn't used to it, but the good part was that he was determined.

It was raining buckets outside, and the TV was on, but I didn't watch it. I was heavily distracted by the rain falling. Thinking about a few things in particular. Wondering if there was ever a way out from under the despair. Just enough to see some sort of reason why I was never meant to be happy.

Thinking, wondering what I could do to just let them know how much I was suffering. I'd have have given anything. My heart, my soul to tell them that I needed more that I did before. I needed someone to know what I lived with everyday. Despite the support I already got, I still thought hard about how nobody could suffer as much as I did. I knew completely that that was a lie, that I no longer knew what suffering really was, but I couldn't help it. Feeling that way was inevitable.

I thought about what Mikah told me that night again. Wishing my emotionally induced migraine would ease just a little. I thought about Mikah, and I thought about his family. I thought about my family, and compared the two. How hard must it be to have younger siblings, and dying trying to protect them from someone like him?

I tried to imagine it. I tried to picture what the last night of his life must have been like, and I flinched away from it. Shaking my head a little. The scene he painted being too hard to even consider.

"What are you thinking about so hard, shorty?" I hadn't noticed Emmett looking my way.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked quietly, turning to face him.

"Do you have to ask?" He asked, chuckling, "You already know the answer to that."

"It's kind of personal." I shrugged a little. His smile faded a little, hearing my tone.

"Go for it." He replied, "What's on your mind?" I sighed, thinking. I wasn't sure at first what it was I wanted to ask. There was more than one way to ask it.

"Do you.." I trailed off, pausing, "Do you ever think about your parents?"

"All the time." He answered, not seeming to mind my question in the least, "You mean my human parents, right?" I nodded, "Yeah, all the time. Sometimes it's hard to remember them, because they were part of my human life, but it's difficult to know where you're going without remembering where you came from, shorty."

"Do you miss them? Your human family?" I asked, quietly fascinated.

"Sometimes." He admitted, "But it's more of missing the chance to say goodbye." I looked down, "The end of my human life was a little sudden."

"I think having that chance would make it harder." I confessed, "I don't think saying goodbye is any easier than getting the chance to."

"Well, think about it." He said, "Remember how much it bothered you before when we left, not giving you the chance to say goodbye?" I closed my eyes, remembering perfectly, "Wouldn't that have been easier if you'd gotten the chance?"

"No." I said honestly, "Nothing would have made that easier." I was quiet now, "I don't think I'm going to make it through saying goodbye."

He sighed, "Come here, shorty." He gestured that I cross the couch, and this time, I did. I sat beside him, letting him pull me into his side. Noting the way my eyes welled a little, he embraced me a little tighter, "Hey, don't cry anymore. Not for awhile. I think you've cried enough the last couple of days."

"I don't want to go." I mumbled, sighing shakily, "Not now, not ever. I'm scared, Emmett." I couldn't help admitting this now, "I need you all so much. Even now, still, after all this time. Without you, what does that make me?"

"Two things." He replied quietly, "One. You don't need us."

"Yes-"

"Just wait." He interrupted, "No you don't. You're strong all on your own. You're brave, and you're smart. Saying you need someone, anyone at all, just confuses us. You know? Because you are the way you are, and that's all you, shorty."

"But I'm that way because of you." I argued, looking up at him.

"You didn't know how to be before, that's true, but we didn't give you those traits. You developed those on your own." I didn't argue again. Sniffling quietly, "Now. Two." I waited, watching as his expression hardened, "You don't have to go through with this."

"I do." I shook my head a little, looking down.

"No, you don't." He said, "Shorty, let us protect you. It's what we do. That's our _job_."

"I have to." I argued again, "Emmett, you didn't see. You don't know.. Just how much we lost. How much I lost. It still hurts, you know. I _still_ have nightmares about it." I paused, shaking my head in sadness, "I _have_ to. I'm scared, but there's no way around it."

"There has to be." He argued this time, "We'll think of something."

"Not in time." I looked up at him, and as he met my eyes, holding my gaze, he slowly started to catch on to what I was saying. I watched the hope in his eyes fade, a little at a time with each passing second, and that was one of the hardest things I had to watch. I looked down.

I sighed quietly, "Any attempt you make ends badly. You take me somewhere, they find us. Both ways. Just a couple of you take me, the others stay behind. That doesn't work. Everyone goes. That doesn't work. You stay and fight, they win. Negotiating. Failure." I shook my head, looking back down, "I stand alone. He takes me anyway. The only way it doesn't end badly that I can see is to keep the agreement I made, and that's it. There is _no_ other way, Emmett."

"Well.." He sighed, "You say he wants you human, right?" I nodded a little, "What if we were to change that?" My eyes narrowed in confusion, "Turn you before he comes for you. What would that do?"

It was an honest question. I sighed, reaching over and unclasping one of my bracelets. Gathering the metal in my hand, I went quiet. Thinking.

"If I were turned before he came back for me.." I trailed off and paused, concentrating on the possibilities of that possible decision. I sighed heavily again, "There are so many directions that could take, but from what I can see right now, it doesn't do any good. I still wind up with him. I can't outrun his guard, and I can't get away. Just because I'd be immortal, doesn't make him want me any less, but it does change everything."

"If I were to bite you right now.." He trailed off and I smirked. Finding that a little funny, despite the sadness of the conversation.

"You wouldn't be able to stop." I stated quietly, "I'd die."

"That's freaky." He said after a moment, "And if I convinced Carlisle to try it?"

"You wouldn't." I answered, "Carlisle would refuse, and so would Edward. Carlisle would tell you that the risk was unnecessary, for no guarantee of it changing anything."

His suggestion had gotten my mind working, however, and I thought further. I did see a way for it to work. I sat up slowly, frowning as I looked at it further. If I didn't say anything, Emmett wouldn't think to ask him.

Mikah.

Mikah had the self control it took to turn me. The rest of the path laid out from there, what needed to happen to keep the family safe, but stay free.

He'd already proven he had the control it took to turn someone with Josh. Mikah could do it.

In three years, I had to talk to Mikah. If I did it right, all I had to do was ask Mikah to take me. Run from the house one night while they were gone. They would have no idea what happened to me, and Aro would see that. They wouldn't have a clue, and they'd all be spared. Just like when Alice and Jasper took me that night.

I would have Mikah turn me that same night or the next morning. If I did that, we'd only have to stay gone a year. One year with no word whatsoever to the family. Mikah and I would run into no problems during that one year, and neither would any of the family. They'd be watched, but with no clues coming to them, Aro would eventually give up with them, and move on to searching for us himself.

A year sounded tough, hard to do, but it was much better than the alternative.

I would know when it was safe to come back, and we'd come back. We'd return, and be accepted with open arms. Especially Mikah, for keeping me safe all that time. From there, we'd leave. It would be difficult from there, but possible to stay hidden. It could be done if we were careful about the location we chose, and covering our trail.

There was one problem I saw right away, however. The life Carlisle had worked for, to live among the humans, wouldn't be possible anymore. Where there was human population, we could be found. We'd spend the rest of our existence running. Hiding. Forced into untold lengths of exile, just to stay together.

That wasn't what I wanted to do to them. That was the selfish way out.

I knew they'd do that for me in a heartbeat, so to speak, and that was the second I began to doubt this way out. I couldn't do it, so I looked for more options along those same lines.

Mikah and I could just stay together. Spending our time away, travelling. Spending all of our time being nomads. Only visiting now and then, I looked at the consequences of that decision.

That would put the family under further surveillance. Lasting longer, and watched closer. Waiting for the time when we would come back. They'd never be truly free again.

"Where'd you go?" Emmett asked beside me, pulling me back here. I shook my head roughly, sighing heavily.

"Just checking." I mumbled, setting to work reclasping the bracelet around my wrist.

I decided then to keep the idea to myself. I wouldn't do that to them. Not as long as I lived. They deserved more than that, and if they ever found out about it, they'd pick up the idea and run with it. I knew that for a fact.

There was only one peaceful way this would end.

I turned, looking toward the door as the others returned then, Mikah and Carlisle leading the way inside. Seeming lost in worrying conversation, given their expressions. Everyone else filed in behind them, soaked to the skin from the rain, but otherwise seeming fine.

With a heavy heart, I decided that I would just have to enjoy what time I had left with them.

They'd even picked up a few others. Edward and Bella, as Edward walked along Carlisle's other side, also lost in their conversation. Bella and Renesmee walked along with Esme and Alice, lost in their own, more pleasant conversation, given their smiles.

Renesmee looked to me immediately, grinning as she saw me. She'd grown quite a bit over the last year or so. Physically, she was closer to seven now. She rounded the couch quickly, and flopped down on the couch beside me.

"Hey, Ness." I mumbled, still not quite up to being cheerful. Not after being so let down by my own visions.

"You look sick." She pointed out, and I sighed.

"Thanks." I replied, looking down.

"Has she eaten lunch?" Esme asked, looking to Emmett as she came to stand beside the couch.

"Not yet." Emmett replied, "You hungry, shorty?"

"Not really." I admitted, "I think I might go try to sleep." I mainly just wanted to be alone. I only wanted to give myself a chance to heal after that. I'd dared to hope, and I deeply regretted it now. That was so hard in its own way.

I stood up, Ness' eyes following me as I stepped around Emmett.

"Hey," She called, "Don't go yet. Come take a walk with me."

"I really don't feel like it, Ness." I mumbled, shaking my head, "Maybe some other time?"

"Come on-"

"It's pouring outside." I reminded her, "I hate getting wet. You know that."

"Then let me follow." She said, standing, "I'll keep you some company."

"I don't need company, Ness." I sighed, "Please."

"Squirt," Emmett called Ness' attention, "Maybe you shouldn't push this. Spend time with me instead." I looked to him thankfully, "She's not up to visiting right now."

"Still?" She asked, disappointed, "Come on, Leandra. I missed you."

"I know." I mumbled, looking down, "I'm just not the best one for company right now, and.. I kind of wanted to talk to Carlisle about something." He looked my way from where he stood. That hadn't been a complete lie. I just hadn't figured now was a good time to bring it up.

Something had been weighing on me for a little while, but I hadn't found the courage to ask. Now was as good of a time as any, I figured.

The room quieted a little, and I sighed, "I want to try going back to school."

That took them all off guard. Surprising even Carlisle.

"I think I want to try it." I said, nodding, "Just for a year or something, but.. I've been stuck. Maybe if I try school again, with all the other humans, I won't be so stuck."

"Where did that come from, shorty?" Emmett asked, surprise in his voice.

"It's just a thought." I shrugged a little, "Maybe I've fixed myself by now."

"That's highly doubtful, Leandra." Jasper said, "And I worry. I remember how hard school was on you before. The reason why we pulled you out, was because you weren't compatable with them."

"I remember." I nodded, looking down.

"What happened?" Ness asked curiously, "Did she get into trouble?"

"_Big_ trouble." I admitted, and her eyes widened, "I've been homeschooled ever since the end of fifth grade. Because I used to get into so many fights."

"Why?" Ness asked, frowning.

"I thought I knew better than they did, and couldn't just let go of the way they'd tease me." That was the easiest way to answer her. She had every right to be curious.

"So you hit them?" She asked, sitting down beside Emmett.

"Yeah." I replied, "I did, but I want to try again. Maybe now I won't."

"That's a big maybe, shorty." Emmett told me, "Are you _sure_ you want to try it again? So soon, you know, after.." He trailed off, hesitancy in his tone, "If you start school again, you know you're bound to run into _him _again."

I hadn't thought of that.

I sat down in the chair across from him, thinking. This was something I had to consider carefully. Was it worth it? I still didn't blame Zack. I didn't, but that didn't mean I wanted to see him again.

"I'm just worried about you, shorty." Emmett said, thinking I was disappointed, "That wouldn't be easy on you."

"I know." I mumbled, looking at my hands.

"Give it some thought." Carlisle finally told me, "And if it's still something you want to do, we'll discuss it." I nodded.

After enough thought, I went for it. Thinking about it that night, I figured I couldn't spend my whole life being afraid of him. I had to do what I wanted to do, and not let him dictate what I could or couldn't accomplish, merely because I didn't think I could ever stand the sight of him again.

I was nervous, and I couldn't tell yet if I had reason to be. I'd called Andrew the night before, letting him know I was going to be there, so he met me out in front of the school. I'd gotten there early enough for him to show me around, and of course, he seemed happy to see me.

"I heard." He murmured as he hugged me, and I didn't know what to say, "I couldn't believe it at first, but.." He sighed, shaking his head. A blush crept across my cheeks, humilation announcing itself on my face. He hugged me tighter for a second, before releasing me.

"How'd you hear?" I asked hesitantly.

"His dad told my dad." He explained, "He really didn't mean for me to hear, but Mike needed someone to vent to. It was all I could do to convince him to leave it. Especially when I wanted to hit Zack myself."

"Thank you." I sighed, "He wouldn't have been able to do anything anyway. I didn't come to him."

"Something about not pressing charges or something." Andrew frowned, "Why wouldn't you want to?"

"I'd rather not get into it right now." I mumbled, and he sighed, but nodded.

With Andrew as company, I made it through my first day, and the second day. I kept mainly to myself, only seeing Zack in passing. Andrew made sure I was sufficiently distracted through the day, just so I wouldn't feel quite so alone. Text messages between classes, with encouraging words to look back on during class.

What I hadn't counted on, though, was the nickname I'd have gotten the moment I listened to what the other kids were saying. A four letter word that would probably stick with me as long as I decided to stick with school.

"Hey," One student sitting in the desk behind me whispered to another, "Isn't that the girl?"

"Yeah." The other whispered back, "Think she's pregnant?"

"Probably." I couldn't believe it at first. With a sinking heart, I realized quickly that Zack had told everyone. It wasn't just Andrew who knew anymore. I did what I could to ignore it, however.

The third day was a little iffy, and the fourth even more so.

I chose to ignore it the first couple of days, but the first Friday after starting school, I came home in tears. It was quickly looking like I'd be right back where I was before. There were many things I liked to think I could endure. Emotional abuse, however, wasn't one of them. Not after what I'd gone through to warrant that.

I was pushed around, literally and metaphorically, but never seriously hurt physically. Maybe a tiny bruise here or there from being tripped or shoved against the wall as someone stepped passed me. I wondered often, bitterly, if they'd still be treating me this way if they knew the truth. I'd watch them walk away, wondering strongly if they'd still be as mean to me if they knew what I knew. Instead of breaking my heart over things that weren't true.

"Maybe you shouldn't go back." Emmett suggested as he watched me cry that Friday night, and I shook my head.

"I just need to get tougher." I sniffled, looking down. I didn't know why I was being so stubborn about it now. I knew he was right. I knew I shouldn't go back, but I didn't want to give up.

Monday rolled around, and I had to admit, I didn't want to go back, but I did. I woke up early, and got dressed nervously. As it was, the only friend I had was Andrew, and now I knew the reason why.

I didn't make it through the day.

Lunchtime brought me outside, and as hard of a day as I'd been having, I looked for the one person I knew was on my side. The one that wouldn't treat me so horribly.

"Hey, Leandra." I startled at Zack's voice. I spun around, nearly tripping over the bench of the table I'd been standing at as I looked up at him, "I wasn't sure if I should come over."

I studied him. He didn't seem so threatening. He stood there awkwardly, his hands in his pockets. The sincerest look on his face I'd seen in a long time.

"You shouldn't have." I replied quietly, shaking my head.

"I know." He nodded a little, looking down, "I shouldn't have, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am."

"Sorry?" I asked after a moment of shocked silence, "You're sorry? Do you have any idea what you did to me?" I wasn't surprised to find myself wanting to cry. I gave a quiet sobbing laugh, "Do you even care how much you hurt me?" I glanced over at a handful of giggling girls walking by.

"I don't know why I did that." He mumbled, looking down, "I can't give you an explanation."

"And spreading it around school?" I asked incredulously, "Are you sorry for that?"

"I didn't mean for that to happen." He told me honestly, "I told a couple of friends why I couldn't come over after school, and well.. They took it from there." That was a very believable explanation, "I didn't bother trying to correct them, because I never expected to see you here."

"I don't even know why I came back." I sighed a soft sob this time, sitting down. I tried so hard to get ahold of myself, but seeing him again brought up emotions that I couldn't fight. I knew this was a definite possibility, but I hadn't imagined what seeing him again would do.

"Zack." I recognized Andrew's voice, glancing over, "What are you doing here? Haven't you done enough to her?"

"I'm _trying_ to apologize," Zack's tone was less than friendly toward Andrew, "Calm down."

"You shouldn't be allowed _in_ school, much less able to talk to her." Andrew replied, "Back off, and leave her alone. Save your apologies for someone who'll believe them, you fucking psycho." He set his bag down beside me, and I looked back up. Surprised at how much anger he had in his eyes.

"Guys." I mumbled, sitting up straighter.

"This is none of your business." Zack told him, "How about you back off, and come back in a couple of minutes?" I saw quickly where this was going. I stood up, ready to step between them, but there wasn't enough time for me to do so.

Without warning, with no hesitation or thinking twice, Andrew stepped forward and slammed his fist right into the side of Zack's face. It was very clear to me that there had been a lot of effort behind that punch, and had been felt from the heart. I jumped, yelping in surprise.

I vaguely noticed as others around us noticed the action as well. Shouting in approval as Zack hit the pavement. I covered my open mouth, shock in my eyes as I looked to Andrew shaking out his hand. It was clear by the way he looked at Zack, waiting for him to climb back to his feet, that he wasn't done.

"That's enough." I finally mumbled, trying to get Andrew's attention, but he wasn't about to stop. Looking at Zack, I could see the bruise already forming, and his self control snap.

It was hard to follow what happened next.

Zack ran forward, swinging. Andrew ducked in time, and tackled Zack back to the ground easily. We were quickly surrounded by other students, laughing and cheering them both on. Andrew had Zack pinned, punching him repeatedly in the face.

"Andrew, stop." I tried to call to him over the laughter around me, "That's enough."

Until someone else decided to join in. I recognized this boy as Jimmy, a rather quiet boy I used to have in class back when I first started school here. He'd sure done some growing, standing several inches above me now.

Stepping forward from the back of the group, I watched him stride over and place a pretty well timed kick to Andrew's side. Grabbing the back of his shirt, he pulled Andrew up and off Zack. Punching him back to the ground.

"Hey." I called, frowning.

"You shut up, slut." He told me, taking me completely off guard, "Shouldn't you be sucking someone behind the school?" He'd always been so nice. What the hell happened?

"Fuck you." I glared, blushing furiously. That was the first time anyone had told me that with such heat behind their words. Normally, it was laughter.

"Maybe later, sweetheart." He said, smirking, "I'm a little busy right now." His attention was taken by Andrew coming at him next. I strode forward, just as Zack got back up as well.

Zack took Andrew right as I kicked Jimmy as hard as I could in the crotch.

He made a sort of choking groaning noise, and fell to his knees. Squeezing his eyes shut, and seeming to have a rough time breathing. Man, it felt good to do that. I hadn't done that too many times in my life, but right now seemed as good a time as any. Knowing that was the best way to either get back at someone male, or get them off me. I was just about ready to punch him, when I was tackled roughly from behind.

That was it. My fight was back.

This boy was smaller than Jimmy, so I was able to fight him easier. This boy's name was Hunter, and I knew he was in the grade below us.

I threw myself over, rolling on the pavement until I was over him. Violently slamming my fist into the center of his face. The crowd around us erupted in laughs as I pulled back a fistful of blood, and Hunter fell unconscious. That half surprised me, as I'd never been able to do that before. I'd never knocked someone out with one hit before.

That punch had also been felt from the heart.

I threw myself to my feet, and took a running start back at Jimmy as he was climbing back to his feet. I hooked my arm around his neck before he could stand, and threw him over. Accidentally tripping myself as I did so, but I landed on him, so it was fine. I scraped up my arms pretty harshly, trying not to kill him. Doing so, however, gave him the opportunity to roll us over, throwing me to my back onto the pavement, and pin me painfully.

Strattling my hips, his rough open-handed slap right against the side of my head left my ears ringing. He reached down, chuckling a little as he gripped my face between his thumb and forefinger.

"I'd do you too." He told me over all of the other kids' laughter, "Even after what you just did." I wasted no time in sinking my teeth into his hand, biting harder at his howl of pain.

"I told you, man!" Someone called to him, "She bites!"

I released him, shoving myself up and punching him as well, I watched him fall sideways to the pavement. That was that, now where were the others?

Zack had Andrew pinned, so I ran over and landed a decent kick to Zack's face. Knocking him off of Andrew, and sending him sprawling back onto the pavement as well. I was ready for more, so the moment I was grabbed from behind once again, I spun and landed a violent punch to this one's stomach.

Knocking the wind from them immediately, and I watched as the teacher fell to his knees.

Oops.

The group watching groaned in appreciation. They knew what I'd just done. Andrew sat there, panting on his knees as he looked up at me.

"Call me later." I told him, panting myself, and he nodded quickly. I grabbed my bag, and turned. Sprinting away. Making my way off of school property with a slightly bleeding nose, my clothes splattered in others' blood, and multiple new bruises. I knew for a fact that Carlisle and Esme would be getting a call from the school for what I'd done, but I felt so much better.

It was weird to think about, but by allowing myself into that fight, I got something back.

Carlisle would be working, so I shouldered my bag, and crossed town. An extra confidence in my step, I got multiple wide-eyed looks as I stepped through the front entrance to the hospital. Giving them a smile in return.

"I'm looking for my dad." I admitted when I was stopped on the third floor by a couple of nurses. I knew they'd know who I was talking about. I'd met these nurses before.

"He's with a patient right now." One said, "Leandra, what happened?"

"I got into a fight." I told them, and they sighed. They'd heard all about me by then, which was understandable.

"You can't keep doing that."

"I'm job security." I replied easily, choosing to sit and wait, "If you see him, can you tell him I'm waiting here for him?"

"Are you hurt?" The second nurse asked me, and I shook my head, "Then go clean yourself up in the bathroom, okay?" I couldn't blame them for making that request. I had to look horrible, and it would be bad to give people seeing me a heart attack. So I nodded, and stood back up.

It didn't take me long to clean the blood off my face and hands, choosing to wear my jacket over my bloody shirt. Aside from my light bruises, I was fine.

One look at me, and Carlisle sighed. Shaking his head, and deciding not to ask. He only gently took my arm in his hand and walked with me outside. He gave me a ride home, and thankfully, not many others were home. Out hunting with Mikah yet again.

"What the hell happened?" Emmett demanded the moment he saw me.

"I beat up two boys, and punched a teacher." I replied easily, giving him a smile and leaving his shocked expression to go change my clothes.

"That sounds like my sister." He called after me, and I laughed a little as I closed the bedroom door behind me. I came back out, unable to help smiling.

"I'm not going back." I said as I sat down, glancing up at Carlisle, "I don't need to."

"What exactly happened?" He asked, concerned.

"Andrew hit Zack." I said, "That's what started it. He hit Zack for talking to me. Andrew saw I was crying, and I guess he thought Zack was being mean, so they got into it. I was going to stay out of it, until a second boy came into the fight. In Zack's defense. I didn't see how that's fair, not when Andrew was just trying to defend me, so I got into it with him. I almost had him, when a third came into it. Right at me."

I sighed, shrugging a little.

"I laid him out, went back for the second one, and laid him out too. When the teacher grabbed me, I guess trying to stop the fight, I punched him. I didn't see who it was until I already hit him, so that wasn't my fault. That was an accident."

"Good job, shorty." Emmett smiled, and I looked up, smiling a little.

"Emmett." Esme gave him a look, "You shouldn't encourage this."

"I'd rather her be fighting again, than let her stay the timid little thing she was before. She needs this one handed to her." Esme sighed, but didn't continue scolding him. She could see his point. I could even see his point.

"Look at her, Esme." He said, "You can't tell me honestly that you don't see the difference in her."

"I won't do it again." I said quietly, "Well, unless I have to."

"Alright." Carlisle finally said with a nod, "You won't be going back." It surprised me that he let the subject go so easily, "I'll give Zack's father a call, as well as Andrew's." I nodded, letting him know I understood.

I met his eyes, and I swore I saw pride there as well. It was faint, and hidden under quite a bit of disappointment, but I saw it. Clear as day. I smiled a little, and he nodded again. With that, he turned. Leaving the room.

He wouldn't tell me outright that he approved of my actions today, but he could see as clearly as Emmett could the difference in me. I knew now that he didn't mind what I did as long as it gave me back my confidence. Which it had.

I thought hard that night.

From the beginning, I'd always had trouble justifying my actions. My life until the passed year and a half has always revolved around my past, and where I'd come from. As well as having trouble seeing where I'd have any sort of future. I could never deny that.

Now that I knew what my future would really be like, I didn't want one.

There was no way around it. I'd seen it myself many times, which was probably why I gave up fighting it. It was the one thing I could not deny. I didn't see where I had any way of fighting it, but it still didn't change who I was. What I was, was Aro's property, but who I was, was yet to be determined.

I laid in bed, thinking. Wishing my gift had never appeared. It had brought me so much heartache and problems. It was because of my gift that I'd seen the fight, which changed me more than anyone would care to admit. It was because of my gift that I'd been forced to make that horrible agreement. I never would have agreed to it, had I not known how much the consequences would hurt.

I never would have agreed to leave my family so easily, had I not had to agree to leave them just to keep them safe.

I wanted nothing more than to just stay. To have the ability to stay with them for the rest of my life, but they knew now as well as I did that that wasn't possible. It never had been. From the moment I was born, I should have known that my happiness wouldn't ever be considered. From the moment I'd been born, it had been one dissapointment after the other. The world constantly denying me the ability to just be happy. I had the misfortune of being born under everybody else's shoe.

All I'd ever asked for, or wanted was just to have a safe home, and a warm bed. Never asking for tons of money, or things out of my reach. I had those things now, but knowing I couldn't keep them made it much harder to accept them.

I started to cry sometime around midnight, quietly shedding a tear for all of the things I was never destined to have.

Aro told me he understood the gravity of the sacrifices I was making. He really had no idea. There was no way he could ever fully know how much I'd be giving up. Those things might not seem so important to those that already have it, but to me, it was everything.

I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to have to give them up. I didn't want to become heartless, or be forced to obey his every command. That wasn't who I was, and I never wanted to become that. I never wanted to have to give up my loving family, and I didn't ever wanted to have to leave behind the support I had, or the consideration to how I felt.

From the beginning, I'd been given a choice. A choice between what I wanted, and what I didn't want. A year and a half ago, I'd forced myself to give up that choice, and I realized that by doing everything I knew I shouldn't have been doing, I was trying to make up for that. Just so I could lie in bed at night, and just hate myself a little less.

I was only trying to make up for everything I'd already lost, and allowed to be taken from me.

Maybe I was trying to kill myself. Just to save myself from being forced to leave. I knew the day I had to leave was going to kill me. I already knew how much having to leave where I was, to get to where I'd spend the rest of my life was going to hurt, and I never wanted to see that day.

I sniffled roughly as I heard the door open. So often before, I'd always had support when I'd wake in tears, or trembling in my bed because of a memory of growing up. That had never failed, and when it had, it was because they weren't able to be here.

I wanted so badly to keep that. To know that no matter what, I'd be safe and loved. I didn't think that was so very much to ask for.

So many times before, someone had been there to comfort me when I couldn't, or had been too afraid to sleep. To silently let me know that the ghosts of my past I'd feared were no longer real, and that it was safe to sleep again.

I was giving up more than Aro would ever know.

I sat up the second I felt the bed dip behind me, looking to Esme sitting there with me from the light of the hallway. I let her hug me to her, my heart breaking further the second I realized that this was a limited thing. Comfort and safety was limited, and I hated it. I hated it so much, but I could never go back on the agreement I made as a stupid child.

No, I corrected myself. I hadn't been stupid to make that agreement. I hadn't been stupid. I'd been selfless. They bordered each other, and at some point, perhaps selfless had to cross the line into stupidity, but my reasons had been pure enough. Being selfless didn't seem that good of a trait, though, when I was giving up so much.

"I don't want to go." I cried into Esme's shoulder, and I immediately hated myself. How could I hurt her like that? To be selfish enough to let her know my pain? My deep, debilitating fear and hatred of the situation?

I only needed someone to know, to care enough to just help me forgive myself a little. I needed her to know that no matter what, it hadn't completely been my choice to leave them. How could it be? They were everything I'd ever wanted, and needed in my life, and I'd forever be grateful for the selflessness and the comfort they gave to me so freely. The neverending support they provided, and the knowledge that no matter what, I was never alone.

I grew up alone, praying every night that I'd somehow find a light to the darkness my life surrounded. I grew up, crying so very hard every night, hoping that my tears would be enough to end my life of pain, and find someone like them to make that pain end.

I spent my time with them struggling to learn, and accept the fact that I didn't have to be afraid anymore. That I didn't have to expect pain or abandonment because I was the way I was. That I could count on them never to give up on me.

Now, the only thing I had to look forward to was losing everything I'd wished for and had finally accepted. It was being torn from me so painfully, and the worst part was, I could never hold tight enough to it to keep it with me forever.

That knowledge hurt more than anything.

I could feel it slipping through my fingers with each passing day, and I knew the older I got, the closer I got to sixteen, I would feel it slipping faster. Never being strong enough to hold onto it, until the day came that I would no longer be able to hold it.

My life before didn't matter anymore. It was the life I lived with them that made all the difference, and I would be pulled from my place here like it never even mattered.

And by going along with it, I felt like they'd believe it never mattered to me either. They couldn't be more wrong.

**A/N: I realize how short this is compared to the others, but I really need to rest. I hope you can appreciate this chapter as it is, as I had very limited time to work on it this week. :)  
As always, I'm eternally grateful to my many REVIEWERS! I love all you guys for the support you've given me. (:  
Chapter ten will probably be the last, as I'm SUPER excited to start the next one lol those familiar with my previous story series (a _very_ select few are, as I'm not too proud of it) you'll recognize quite a bit of that one in next story.** **Edited of course, and changed, but you'll recognize it. Those of you who aren't familiar with it, you've got a wild ride ahead. I promise you that.  
Until ten, my friends. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

When I get into trouble, it's usually my fault. It was no secret, and I never once tried to deny it. Everybody knew it, and I would be the first to admit to being a world-class trouble maker.

However, today, I could very easily blame Renesmee.

There we stood, outside Zack's house, with me wondering what the hell was wrong with me for agreeing to come along. It was late afternoon, and I knew he was home. I looked up, noting outloud about the storm coming in.

"Don't be a chicken, Leandra." She told me, and I looked to her.

"I'm not a chicken." I countered, "Forgive me for not wanting to see him."

"Come on." She said, "Just go over, and knock on the door. Bring him out, because _I_ want to talk to him."

"You do it." I said, "I won't."

"Chicken." She sighed, stuffing her hands in her jacket pockets and marching forward. I rolled my eyes, watching from the sidewalk. How did we get into this?

She'd wanted to go for a walk. Something she loved to do was explore, and finally, I gave in to her requests to show her my old wandering places. I took her by Andrew's house, and we stayed for a little bit. Richard was smitten with her, which was funny.

Somehow Andrew and I had gotten onto the subject of Zack, and Ness was a very observant little girl. Like a sponge, absorbing everything she heard or saw, and had I mentioned yet how smart she was? Though nobody chose to tell her exactly what it was Zack had done to me, she knew that it crossed the line. Given her unhappiness with him, I knew she vaguely understood just how far passed the line Zack had gone.

If she was this pissed without even knowing exactly what he'd done, I half wanted to see what she'd do if she knew. Of course, nobody would tell her. Not only was the subject hard enough for me to even think about, as I still cringed away from it instinctively, but I hated hearing about it. Paranoia sets in when I hear my name in a passing whisper, but this was almost too much.

She was just trying to stand up for me, and I understood that. I just wished she wouldn't drag me into it.

I crossed my arms, waiting for her to get done with whatever she wanted to do. This wouldn't solve anything, and I had told her that, but it was no use. She was determined. I looked away as Zack answered the door, hating the way she thought she had to do this. I wanted to disappear into the sidewalk when Ness started leading him to me.

"Are you kidding me?" I demanded of her, refusing to meet Zack's eyes.

"Now, apologize." Ness demanded facing Zack from beside me, crossing her arms, "I'm tired of this."

"I've tried to." Zack muttered, "And what business is it of yours?"

"She's my family." Ness replied, "I don't like people hurting my family. So I want you to tell her you're sorry. Or you really will be."

"Renesmee." I muttered, shocked that she'd threaten anyone.

"Leandra?" I looked up toward the house, tensing immediately at the sight of Ken, "What are you doing here?"

"Shit." I sighed, my stomach going cold in nervousness, "Come on, Ness. We should go."

"But he hasn't said he's sorry." Ness argued, shaking her head up at me, "I'm not leaving here until he does."

"He has." I replied to her, noting out of the corner of my eye Ken start in our direction, "Come on. We need to go home now."

"Haven't you caused enough trouble?" Ken asked as he reached Zack's side, "At it again, are you?"

"You'll never see me again after today." I grumbled to the ground, reaching for Ness' hand.

"Damn right I won't." He replied, "Honest to God, that family of yours needs to put you in a zoo somewhere."

"Shut up." I told him flatly, narrowing my eyes a little.

"You can't talk to her like that." Ness spoke up, right as I managed to grab her hand, and tug her to my other side. Making sure to keep myself between her and Ken. I wasn't about to take chances.

Ken chuckled down at her, "Well, isn't she cute? I think it's passed her naptime."

"Hey." Ness frowned, not liking the insinuation. I didn't either. I might not have liked her when I first met her, but she was family.

"Just go home, Leandra." Zack spoke finally, annoyance in his tone, "I'm tired of looking at you."

I'd heard that line many times before. From both Jack, and Ken, but I had to admit. It hurt a lot more than I would have thought coming from him. My gaze was accusing as I met his eyes. I sighed, but I was done. I was done.

Ness watched me, waiting to see what I would do.

"Don't worry." I replied quietly, "This is the last time you ever will." He looked down. That was something I never expected him to do.

"Just like that?" Ness asked incredulously as I turned us both around, "You're not going to hit him?"

"Hitting him won't make me feel any better, Ness." I replied, "You've got to choose your fights. Know the difference between fights that are worth it, and ones that aren't."

"And know the ones that you know you'll lose." Ken added and I paused, glancing back at him.

"I know I could take Zack." I called back, "Easily. I just know no amount of ass whooping would fix him."

"Right." Ken snorted.

"You broke him. Your entire fucking family needs help. Honestly, Ken." I shook my head and went to turn again. Suddenly, Ness' hand was gone from mine, and she was striding back toward them.

"Ness, stop." I called, following her.

"That's Ken?" She demanded, and at first, I wanted to wonder how she knew about him. Instead, though, I jogged to catch up to her.

"It isn't worth it." I told her, catching her hand again, "Come on. Believe me, I know, but we've got to be bigger than him."

"But it isn't fair." She replied, "It's not."

"I know that, but sometimes life isn't-"

"Listen to her, kid." Ken's command was directed at her, "Trust me."

"I wouldn't suggest speaking to her like that, Ken." I warned, "Mikah has nothing on Bella and Edward." He, of course, had no idea what I meant by that, but he narrowed his eyes anyway. I gave him a look, trying to tell him silently that I meant that warning.

"About that," Ken said, remembering, "I never did get my answers. How about we all go inside?"

"No thank you." I returned, "Your questions have already all been answered." I turned, walking quickly now.

"Wait a second." My shoulder was taken pretty roughly, and I winced, shrinking a little under the contact. Ken spun me around, and I only had one second to look up at him before Ness was suddenly punching him in the stomach.

My shock was apparent as I watched Ken fall to the sidewalk, having lost every bit of breath he had at the single punch, Zack's expression mirroring mine.

"I'm tired of looking at _you_." Ness smirked down at him, spinning with a grin and continuing on. I looked to Zack, shocked beyond words until finally getting enough sense to follow her.

Ness wasn't ready to go home yet, and to be honest, neither was I, so we circled the park. Sometime around the fifth or sixth lap, it started to rain.

"You really shouldn't have done that." I told her for the tenth time, "Man, Bella's going to be so mad at me."

"No she won't." Ness replied, annoyed, "She always tells me to stand up for myself and who I care about. I wasn't scared of him."

"Neither was I, but he definitely has reason to be feared."

"Why?" She asked, frowning.

"What do you know about him?" I asked in return, and she shrugged.

"Ken was your stepdad's dad, and treated you badly." I waited, and she looked to me. That's all she knew?

"Well, that's true." I said, "Both of them are.. Freaking insane. Let's just put it that way. Jack learned how to be the way he was from Ken, and from what I can tell, Ken is a hundred times worse than Jack."

She nodded slowly in understanding. I wasn't willing to go too far into specifics, so I didn't offer any other information. She didn't ask, so I figured that was all she needed to know. For the strangest reasons, I didn't want her to know anything about what kind of evil existed in the world.

"So wait." She spoke up again, "Ken was Jack's father." I nodded, "And Jack was your stepdad." I nodded again, knowing she was piecing it together, "And Zack is Ken's grandson?"

"Yeah." I sighed, "Jack's sister's son."

"That family never stops hurting you, do they?" Her tone was very deeply sad, and I had to look to her.

"Josh wasn't like them." I said, wanting to give her some sort of positive outlook. Purely for her benefit.

"Josh.. The older boy." She remembered him just as much as she remembered Zack.

"He was, is.." I corrected myself, "Amazing. Nothing like them."

"But he's not here." She reminded me, "So who's going to correct them?"

"Not us." I said flatly, "Ness, promise me. You have to stay away from them." She didn't say anything after that, but I could clearly see her thinking.

We were pretty quiet after that, eventually the two of us sitting down. Well, I sat down. She continued to circle the bench I sat on. Getting more and more excited over the afternoon she'd had so far. I smirked.

"Slow down, kid." I had to say it. I remembered the way it felt the first time I punched someone who'd pissed me off. I could also see why now would be the first time she'd done it. She'd never really had the taste of freedom like I'd always had. She was always watched closely, over-protected. Nobody else would teach her how to be wild, so I had to do it.

"I wanna go back." She said, "Let's do that again." I laughed, standing.

"Pace yourself, or you'll explode." I said, leading the way out of the park. She followed quickly, the smile on her face contagious, "You can't just go around hitting people. That'll get you into trouble."

"So?" She asked, looking up at me.

"Trouble isn't all it's hyped up to be." I said, "Trust me."

"I'm not done with Zack." She admitted, and I sighed, "What? Leandra, I didn't get to tell him off for what he did to you."

"You don't even know what he did to me." I pointed out incredulously.

"I know enough." She said, "I know that he was your friend, and he hurt you. I saw the bruises, Leandra, and Dad wouldn't let me come over for so long because he said you were upset."

"I've let it go."

"No you haven't." She corrected, "There's no way you could have. You loved your friends. What changed?"

"He did." I sighed, "Ken influenced him way too much." I knew instantly I'd said too much, given the extra jump in her step.

"Then we've definitely got to go back." She said evenly, "That settles it. I know just the way to get back at them, and we don't even have to talk to them." That didn't sound so bad, and I had to admit. I was curious as to what she had on her mind.

By then, evening had started to fall, and didn't take long to take hold. We stopped by the general store, and she told me to wait outside while she ran in and bought something. I shrugged, following her direction. Keeping watch outside, I watched the cars driving by. Splashing through the wet street.

She stepped back out after a few minutes, a smaller brown grocery bag in her arms and a devious little smile on her face.

"What's in the bag?" I asked almost hesitantly. She didn't answer, only continuing on around the store and toward Zack's house. I asked again once we were almost there.

"You'll see." Is all she said.

It was pretty dark on the street when we got back to it, pausing beside a hedge to see that nobody was home. No cars in the driveway, all lights inside were off. She looked up at me, grinned and continued on. Stepping onto the front lawn.

"Ness, we really shouldn't be here." I murmured, following her, "Can't you just let it go?"

"Get mad!" She insisted in a whisper, "Aren't you mad at him for what he did?"

"Of course I am." I replied, "But that doesn't mean-"

"Then prove it." She opened the bag roughly and pulled out a carton of eggs. I was shocked enough to hold onto it as she shoved the eggs at me, her expression firm, "I'll throw with you, but you have to do it first." This was nuts! Where had she gotten an idea like that?

"What?" I asked, still shocked, "At the house?"

"No, at them." She replied sarcastically, "Yes, the house. They're not home, so it's even better."

"I'm not mad at his dad." I argued, awkwardly holding the box, "It's not his-"

"Wrong." She interrupted me, "It's his fault just as much as it's Zack's."

"How do you figure?" I asked incredulously.

"Hold the people responsible for the one who hurt you resposible for what they did." Her whisper was quick, and it took me a second to understand what she said, "He should have known what his son was capable of. He let you in, he let you go into that room. He knew something was going to happen, and he just let it happen. Get mad!"

She had a point, but I was surprised.

"Just how much have they told you?" I asked, frowning.

"I know enough to know that you need this more than you think you do." She crossed her arms, "So get throwing." Why wouldn't she answer that question?

"I really don't think-"

"Oh, for Pete's sake." She sighed, reaching out. She opened the carton in my arms and pulled out an egg. Turning, and whipping it straight at the house like she'd been born for pitching. I watched, wide eyed at the splat it made against the front door. She was grabbing for a second one before I could protest, launching it an impressive distance before it hit an upstairs window.

"Stop." I finally said, closing the carton. I couldn't let her do this. I'd never gone as far as purposefully vandalising something.

"Then you do it." She insisted, "Come on, Leandra."

"This won't solve anything."

"It's not supposed to solve anything." She countered, "It's to make you feel better."

After a few more minutes of standing there, arguing with her, I figured why the hell not? We were there, and the first egg had already been thrown. So I set the carton down, and grabbed an egg. Throwing as hard as I could, it hit the garage door with a thud, splatting very satisfyingly.

She giggled, seeing the smile spread on my face, "See? It's easy, and it's fun."

I lifted the carton, and chose another one. Right against the living room window, it oozed down the glass, and I laughed. Okay, so this was a little fun.

I had pretty good aim, I quickly found out. There was just something satisfying about watching the egg hit the side of the house and watching it run in gooey streaks down the windows.

It really shouldn't have surprised me that the neighbors has spotted us, given how loud we were laughing, and it really shouldn't have surprised me that they'd call the police. It really shouldn't have surprised me that Ness would insist I didn't run or fight when the police car did show up. That'd just cause more problems, and I knew she was right.

I was glad she decided to say something, as I nearly started swinging once the cop had taken my arm. Ness' in his other.

So side by side, we sat in the back of the police car. Silent all the way through town, straight to the station. We'd be held there until someone could be called. Apparently, vandalism was a big deal. Who knew?

The cop explained it like this. We weren't exactly under arrest, but we'd be taken in anyway. Until someone could be called for us, and until they could get ahold of Mike. Whoever they called would have to wait there for us until Mike decided whether or not to press charges.

Charges? What charges?

Oh right. We egged his _freaking_ house. He'd be free to choose whether we got a police record, or a warning. I gave Ness a glare as we were pulled from the car and taken inside the station. Led through the building, toward the back.

It surprised me to find they actually had a handful of cells for people they needed to hold temporarily.

"For throwing eggs?" I snapped as the barred door was shut behind us, "Are you _serious_?"

"Shouldn't have done it, kid." I didn't recognize this cop, so I could be as mean as I wanted. I had a feeling he was just doing this because I'd been a bit free with my curse words on the way here.

"Well, you shouldn't be such a fucking douchebag." He narrowed his eyes at my response, but walked away. Shaking his head. Ness giggled beside me.

"That was fun, wasn't it?"

"Hell no." I told her incredulously, "Seriously? I told you we shouldn't have done it. I wanted to stay home."

"It's fine." She assured me, "We'll just wait until what's-his-face tells them to let us go, and that's it."

"_If_ he does." I stressed, "Remember who we're talking about?"

"Mike likes you." She reminded me.

"But Zack doesn't." I countered, "And neither does Ken. Remember him? The guy you punched?" Her smile faded, and she began to realize our predicament, "Yeah. That'd make him _so_ happy to see us in prison for the rest of our lives."

"They can't do that." She replied, shaking her head, "The best they can do is give us community service, because we're minors and caused no actual damage to his house. If we were over eighteen, and broke a window or something, that's different. If we were over eighteen, they could hold us guilty for a misdemeanor, which could mean ninety-plus days in jail, and a fine of five-hundred dollars, or three times the amount of the destruction. Whichever is more. One or the other, or both." I gave her a look, "But.. We're just kids, so.." She trailed off and I looked forward again.

"Comforting." I mumbled, "Knowing Ken, he could have that time in jail doubled, and we'd be even more screwed."

"Just breathe." She said, sitting on the bench against the wall, "We just have to wait now."

"Carlisle is going to be so mad at me." I whined, thumping my forehead against a bar, "I promised him I wouldn't screw up any more."

"You're a kid." She said, "Kids screw up. It's what we do to learn what not to do as adults."

"You're not helping." I muttered, glancing over my shoulder at her, "You're too damn positive."

"I'm just saying." She sighed, swinging her legs back and forth, "It's not the end of the world." She seemed too calm for someone in jail for the first time. I knew I was just freaking out, and that this really wasn't actually jail, but it was close enough for my taste.

"Says the perfect child." I growled to myself, "You do know I'm throwing you under the bus, right? I'll make sure they know it's your fault."

"They caught you with the carton." She pointed out, and I realized she was right. I thumped my head again. Why did I agree to this? That question ran through my head several thousand times the few minutes we waited.

"Alright you two." I looked up at my cop friend from a bit ago, "I need a number to call."

"Don't we get one phone call?" I demanded.

"That's only if we were being charged with a crime." Ness corrected behind me, "Since we're just being held until someone comes for us, and because we're kids, it's them that has to call."

"Shut up." I finally snapped. She just shrugged, not at all concerned by my mood. I bit my lip, thinking.

"Kid knows her stuff." The cop pointed out, looking behind me to her, "And I have to say. You're quite mature about this, young lady. Thank you."

"I apologize for my short-tempered friend here." She replied, "She's been in trouble a lot lately."

"Nessie, you're not helping anyone."

"Actually, I am." She said, "If you weren't so mean, they probably would have just taken the eggs, and let us go by now with a warning."

"She's right, you know." The cop chuckled.

"Call her dad." Ness offered, standing and giving him our names, and the number to Carlisle's cell.

"Who'd I be speaking to?" He asked, looking up from his pad of paper.

"Carlisle Cullen." Ness replied evenly, and I knew instantly by the look on his face that the cop recognized that name.

With a mumble about being right back, he walked away again. Stepping through the doors between where we were and the front of the station, I couldn't help but laugh as I watched after him.

"He almost crapped himself." I laughed a little, and Ness grinned.

"I know." She replied, "That's why I gave him that number. Just wait. He's going to come in, and that cop just actually might."

We waited for what felt like hours. Ness laying on the bench, me in a loosely curled ball in the corner of the cell. All I could think about while we sat there for the thirty minutes we were actually in there was how much trouble we were in. We didn't actually damage anything, but it was obviously enough to get almost arrested.

My eyes were closed, and I took to snoozing before the door opened again.

"Uh-oh." Ness mumbled, sitting up. I opened my eyes, spotting who the cop was leading over. Carlisle was there, of course, but so was Edward. Ness obviously hadn't expected her father to be there. Neither looked pleased, and I shrunk a little at just the look in their eyes.

"It was all her idea!" I called instantly, and she gave me a look. I climbed to my feet with a heavy sigh as the cop stopped long enough to unlock the door. I let Ness leave first, and Edward took her hand. Her head hanging, and I saw that she was just now beginning to realize how much trouble she was in. Carlisle took mine as I stepped out, and I didn't dare object.

We were led back up front now, and around the long front counter toward where Esme and Bella waited.

"Carlisle," I murmured, "I-I-"

"Not now, Leandra." He told me quietly, "Go wait with Esme." He released my hand, and I took the hint. Glancing to Ness as she glanced to me, both of us walking at the same pace. Bella hugged Ness, and Esme hugged me. I glanced back at where Edward and Carlisle stood talking with the cop holding a clipboard.

The ride home was silent. I sat lonely in the backseat, almost dreading getting home. All the way, I wondered if I should bother saying anything at all. I knew blaming it all on Renesmee was going to be pointless, because I knew better. I chose to participate. She hadn't forced me to do it. It was her idea, it was true, but I was right there with her through it all.

Apparently, Mike declined pressing any charges, and we were free to go. We got so incredibly lucky.

Ness and I were herded inside by everyone else.

"Leandra, go to your room." Carlisle told me as we reached the living room, "I'll be in to talk to you in a little while." I'd been thinking we'd both be scolded at the same time, but I guess I was wrong.

"It wasn't _all_ her fault." I tried, looking to Ness, "She was just-"

"Go." I couldn't argue with his tone again, so I shrunk a little more and gave Ness a look. She returned it, and I turned, leaving the room. I took the opportunity to change into my pajamas while in there, sitting on my bed and waiting. Biting my lips in nervousness.

Carlisle was mad. I knew that the second I saw him, but what else could possibly be said that he hadn't said already? And why wouldn't he keep me out there like every other time before?

I was tempted to pull off my bracelets, to see what was coming, but I knew he was undecided. I sat perched nervously on the side of the bed, barely glancing up as the door finally opened. Carlisle stepped in, closing the door behind himself.

"Carlisle, I swear, I wanted to stay home, but-"

"She already told me." He told me, quieting me instantly, "But that doesn't excuse the fact that you chose to participate."

"I knew you'd say that." I looked down.

"Seeing you two sitting in that cell, Leandra, I've never been so angry with you." He paused, and I was quiet, "Leandra, I'm going to explain something to you, and I want you to understand." I looked up, noting the hint of dread in his tone, "I'm from a time period that children didn't get away with near as much as children these days do." I looked down, unsure where this talk was going, "They never even tried, because they knew the consequences for such actions."

"I know." I mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"You're not understanding me." He told me quietly, "Do you remember a few years ago? When Jasper gave you that swat?" I instantly blushed slightly, remembering clearly. I nodded, letting him know I did, "There's a reason none of us corrected him on it."

"Because it worked?" I offered, hoping to get myself out of trouble.

"Exactly." He nodded, "I believe there are very few situations that call for spanking, but that day was one of them, and so is today."

I had to look back up, surprised. Was he saying what I thought he was saying?

"You mean, because I had to be.." I mumbled, "Sort of arrested.. And you had to come pick us up in jail.." I trailed off, and he nodded in response. There was no way Carlisle would spank me. Maybe it wasn't as scott free as I thought? Maybe it was worse than I thought? Maybe I'd just screwed up too much.

"W-Wait.." I mumbled, standing, "I-I didn't even want to go. I only went with her-"

"So she didn't get into trouble alone." He said, "She's already explained, and she's getting the same talk at home." I didn't know what else to say to that, so I shifted my weight between my feet, "I didn't apply this punishment when I should have, when you told us everything you'd been up to, and for that I apologize. I waited tonight to give myself a chance to calm down."

He sighed, shaking his head as he took a step.

"I'm sorry." I instantly said, sitting back down, "I won't do it again."

"Not as sorry as I am, Leandra. Please believe me." I did believe him, but that didn't make it any less scary. He crossed the room, his expression growing sadder as I whimpered. He sat gently on the bed, and looked to me.

I knew, fully knew Carlisle would never hurt me. That was one thing I always knew, and even now, I believed it, but I really didn't want to go through that.

"I'm sorry." I begged quietly, "I won't do it again. I won't do anything again. I'll stay home forever. I promise."

"Leandra, you know that's not why I'm doing this." He sighed, and I heard the defeated calm of his voice, "Come here." I could clearly see and hear how much he hated this. I hated this too, but I couldn't help arguing.

"I didn't want to!" I repeated, "I told her that it wouldn't do any good."

"I know." He murmured calmly, "I know the entire story."

"I tried to be good this time." I continued, "I promise. I swear, I tried."

He sighed, looking down. I waited, holding my breath. Watching, waiting to see if his mind would change. He looked back up, and if anything, he was more determined.

"I can't afford to be lenient anymore." He told me, "Not anymore."

"I tried!" I begged, "S-She just.. She just kept insisting, and wouldn't stop!"

"Leandra-"

"She called me a chicken." I added, "And you know how I get."

"That's what I'm trying to correct here." He replied simply, "Leandra, you knew flat out that it was wrong. Pressure or not, it wouldn't have taken much to simply refuse to do it."

We both looked to the door at Mikah's sudden appearance.

"Carlisle." He said, gesturing that he wanted a word. I knew I was saved by the displeased look in Mikah's eyes. Carlisle stood, crossing the room. A short exchange of words, and Carlisle sighed, shaking his head a little bit. Mikah replied quietly, nodding to me. Carlisle nodded as he took Mikah's spot and Mikah stepped into the room.

"See?" I smirked almost confidently, "You can't. Mikah won't let you."

"On the contrary." Mikah said, sitting beside me on the bed, "I'm going to deliver it." I didn't have time to argue again, as Mikah took my arm gently but firmly in his hand, and pulled me stomach down over his lap. I lost my breath for a second, but regained it immediately.

His forearm pinned my shoulders still, but that didn't make it any easier to lay still. I started thrashing immediately, but the resounding smack on my backside took me off guard. I yelped, but only looked up at him.

Four more good smacks, and he let me up. Though my backside did sting a little, it was more embarrassing than anything. I pushed myself to my feet, my face blushed bright red.

"Carlisle has never had to deal a punishment like that before." Mikah explained calmly as he stood up as well, straightening his shirt, "And he certainly didn't want to start with you. Me, however, growing up with four younger siblings, I've done it too many times to count. To both girls, and both boys when they did wrong, so dealing this punishment was simply nothing to me. You're welcome."

I could feel the slight pout on my face, watching after him as he turned and headed for the door.

Carlisle, however, stayed. Watching me sit grumpily, and pull my pillow to myself. Mikah hadn't hurt me, and I knew that it wasn't meant to hurt me. Well, it was meant to sting, but not injure. I was just mad, and only mildly humiliated.

I looked up, watching as Carlisle made his way further into the room. Sitting beside me, I sniffled a little.

"Watching that was just as hard as having to give it would have been." Carlisle admitted truthfully. I then began to understand the very depth of his compassion. He hated violence, in any form. Even when it wasn't something violent, but necessary.

I still very clearly understood the difference between violence and correction.

I let him hug me into his side, unshed tears of embarrassment in my eyes. I kept my hands in my lap, trying to stay mad, though I knew I had absolutely no right to.

"However, I trust that you understand that the very next time you face trouble, I won't hesitate."

"I won't." I mumbled, finally hugging him in return, "I promise I won't."

"Carlisle, you're such a softy!" We both ignored Emmett's call from the living room, "You got lucky, jail bird! I wouldn't have stopped at five!"

"I'm just so worried about you." Carlisle admitted quietly, "Leandra, I've known you such a long time now, and you're just as much my daughter as Alice is. Or Rose. Even Bella." I sniffled a little, "I love you just as much, and I care just as much. I only want what's best for you."

"I know." I whimpered, wishing he wouldn't continue. As much as I loved hearing how much he cared about me, it made it harder. It reached passed the determined part of me, and made me want to stay all the more when my five years were up. It hurt to know that no matter what, I had no choice but to leave them behind.

That was something I just couldn't get passed.

"And I want you to know, and understand now that if I ever have to carry out that punishment, it's not because I want to." I'd never heard truer words, "It's because I need you to see the error of your ways." I nodded, hugging him tighter, "Leandra, I also want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. Always. No matter what. Just because you're growing up, doesn't mean you have to keep it all inside."

"I do." I mumbled, my voice heavy with emotion, "I have to." I felt his concerned glance down, but didn't look up to meet it. I couldn't. I'd already admitted it to Esme, and to Emmett. Carlisle was the one I couldn't bear to admit it to, though.

He was my main reason why I had to keep this agreement made with Aro.

"Why?" He asked, "Why would you think that?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" I cried, "I have to. I just have to. There is no reason why, and there's no changing the way it ends!" He sighed, hugging me tighter.

"This is cruel." He murmured, listening to me sob, "What Aro is doing to you is cruel."

"I agreed to it." I reminded him through my tears.

"Not the agreement in general, though that is very cruel in itself." He clarified, "What I mean is, setting the appointed time for five years. He gave you five years with us, yet those five years haven't, and won't be spent happily. They'll be spent grieving." I sobbed harder at just the word, "Causing you unimaginable amounts of pain. That's a very cruel thing to do to a child. Placing that amount of pressure, and such a heavy obligation on someone so small, purely for the selfish reasons he has.." He trailed off, pain in every word he spoke.

He waited several minutes before he spoke again.

"Leandra, something I must stress.." He paused, making sure I was listening, "Right here, and right now.. Something I should have made clear from the very beginning, is that I'm quite capable of fighting. I haven't gotten this far without knowing how to defend myself, and those I care about."

I didn't know what to say to that. I knew exactly what he was getting at. He was telling me that if I chose to go back on my word, and if it turned into a fight, he'd be capable of staying alive.

"I only choose not to use it." He explained, "It's a choice."

"Then why did I see what I saw?" I sniffled, looking up finally, "Why did that happen to you?"

"I can only guess." He replied, "One guess would be, because of a rather large error on my part. The only one I can think of, would be to let anger cloud my judgement. I very clearly know not to do that. Even more so now, actually."

I sniffled again, sitting up straighter. I'd never even attempted to talk to him about the vision before.

"I promise you," He said, "It would take a _lot_ to let anger cloud my judgement enough to make my movements that impulsive. All you saw, was the result of one split second mistake that I would never actually make." His words were actually helping.

I'd stopped crying by then, trying to imagine what he was saying as truth. I was having difficulties doing so. Torn between what I saw, and what he was telling me now. It was hard, and he saw that.

"I know you're having trouble believing that." He pointed out, "But just trust me when I tell you that I know full well not to make that mistake. Not ever. Keep that in mind." I took a deep breath, nodding a little.

I slept deeply that night after my cry, and woke up before ten. Sniffling, I joined Mikah and Emmett in the living room.

"I'm done with being trouble." I mumbled, sitting beside Emmett on the couch, "If I can help it, I'm staying out of trouble. You can be trouble." I looked up at Emmett.

"Wow." He said, "Just five quick swats, and you turn right around." He chuckled, finding that amusing, "If you were my kid, I'd have tanned your hide."

"Then I'm glad I'm not." I countered, turning my tired eyes on the floor.

"Out of love, of course." He added and I smiled a little.

"Oh, of course." I smirked, shaking my head.

"What do you expect, shorty?" He asked, "Jail?"

"I blame the neighbors." I sighed. He chuckled, knowing I was kidding. Hugging me into his side and ruffling my hair.

Mikah, who had yet to speak, stood up. Taking my attention as he turned for the door. I struggled up, and ran after him. He turned, seeing me following him. Without hesitation, I hugged him. As tight as I could, hoping he could feel just how much I really _didn't_ hate him for what he did.

"Thank you." I murmered, and I listened to his chuckle.

"You're welcome." He said as I pulled back, "I didn't like doing that, Leandra, understand."

"I know." I said, smiling a little, "I'm not a stranger to being corrected that way. Like I told Jasper when he did it. I don't hate you for it. I know it was needed, and just believe me. I won't be listening to Nessie any time soon."

"She's such a bad influence." Emmett commented shamefully on the couch. I couldn't help laughing at that one. If anyone was the bad influence, it was me.

"Forgive me, princess?" Mikah asked, and I looked up at him.

"Do you have to ask?" I asked, as if the answer was obvious. I hugged him again, and he returned it tightly this time.

I was just relieved that I seemed to be forgiven for all I'd done wrong. Thinking about it, it really was amazing that none of the stuff I'd done wasn't going to be held against me. I'd learned my lesson about smoking, remembering clearly the withdrawal. It was a lot easier to quit when I was nine than now. I never wanted to feel that way again without nerves of steel, so I vowed to myself to never pick up another one.

The start of the summer, I was just as careless as I could ever be. Now, I learned so many hard lessons, I wasn't about to step off the straight path again. I knew the reason now for rules. They kept me from doing stupid things.

I couldn't help wondering, though, if there would ever be a time when I'd mess up so bad that I'd find a limit to my family's patience. Highly unlikely to happen between now and when I was sixteen, but I had to wonder, though.

I also had to just accept that I hadn't found it yet.

**END**

**A/N: Never fear, my readers, I'm here. Sheeze, the site was down forever today. I hope this reaches you well, and I look forward to reading your thoughts on this final chapter.  
And also, never fear, the next story is coming along nicely, so be on the look-out for, "Hunting for the Day - Re-vamped". It'll be out in the next couple of days, and be prepared for a rather.. More 'M' rating than before, as this deals with a lot of 'M' stuff.  
Okay? Don't wanna spend too long on this A/N, so I shall THANK MY BEAUTIFUL REVIEWERS throughout this story, and look forward to seeing you all for the next one.  
AHHH! Gotta get ready for work now. Hope you enjoyed!**


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